ALABAMA: Literacy ain't everything; ya want fries with dat?
>ALASKA: Come, freeze your butt off.
>ARIZONA: Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
>ARKANSAS: At least we're not Mississippi
>CALIFORNIA: The Granola State; nobody's actually from here; fast reloading >lanes available the really long state.
>COLORADO: Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here; official home >of the winter ski bunny
>CONNECTICUT: Way too close to New York
>DELAWARE: You'll need a map to find us, so close to Washington you can smell >it.
>FLORIDA: The Gunshine State; elephant graveyard; where the old Republicans >go to die; senior citizen discounts available; come, enjoy the humidity; the >snow capital of the U.S..
>GEORGIA: Home of the Rednecks; gateway to Florida; Confederate money >welcome.
>HAWAII: Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over; book 'em Danno; Tom >Sellack, Jack Lord, Don Ho - Paradise!; come, get lei-ed.
>IDAHO: Ain't nothing here; we don't care if you spell potato with an "e"; >land of a billion "eyes".
>ILLINOIS: Land of the voting dead; gateway to Iowa.
>INDIANA: Home of David Letterman.
>IOWA: Just east of Omaha; it's easy to spell.
>KANSAS: Hayfever capital of the Midwest; Dole slept here; there's no place >like home; ya want flat, we got flat.
>KENTUCKY: Tobacco is a vegetable; we're all related; gateway to Nashville.
>LOUISIANA: Swim the beautiful Bayou; Cancer Alley's just a name, and names >will never hurt you
>MAINE: For Sale; you can spit on Canada from here.
>MARYLAND: If it weren't for Washington, you couldn't find us.
>MASSACHUSETTS: Home of the young girls from Nantucket, also the home of Ted >Kennedy, hmmmm...
>MICHIGAN: Land of the free, home of the Buick.
>MINNESOTA: Not Sweden, but we try to act like it; sure beats Canada; Land of >10,000 Flakes.
>MISSISSIPPI: We're lucky we can spell it; why would you want to come here?
>MISSOURI: Gateway to Kansas; here's mine, show Me yours; we're better than >Illinois.
>MONTANA: Land of the Big Sky, and very little else; we've got lots of
>10'x10' shacks in the woods; it's where you're wanted; at least >our cows are sane.
>NEBRASKA: More corn than Kansas; Go to Kansas, turn north
>NEVADA: More weirdos than Alaska (warmer too); 2 words - Death Valley; 3:5 >you'll leave broke; we have our own nuclear testing site.
>NEW HAMPSHIRE: Like Old Hampshire, only newer; about as exciting as Vermont.
>NEW JERSEY: You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an >attorney...Tell 'em Guido sent ya.
>NEW MEXICO: Lizards make excellent pets; we have reservations; Aliens Welcome
>Center - Roswell.
>NEW YORK: At least we're not New Jersey!; we're more than a big city; we're >a state; like we CARE about a motto; English spoken here; sometimes.
>NORTH CAROLINA: Five million people; fifteen last names; we're bigger than >South Carolina.
>NORTH DAKOTA: The OTHER South Dakota.
>OHIO: Don't judge us by Cleveland; proud polluters of Lake Erie; we're easy >to spell.
>OKLAHOMA: We're OK, you're NOT!; I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, >Toto.
>OREGON: As pretty as California but not as weird; we're not named after a >musical instrument; you can see the sunset from here.
>PENNSYLVANIA: Cook with coal; free lube job with oil change.
>RHODE ISLAND: Size ain't everything; nobody famous came from Rhode Island.
>SOUTH CAROLINA: Just south of North Carolina.
>SOUTH DAKOTA: Closer than North Dakota.
>TENNESSEE: The Educashun State; thank goodness we've still got Elvis; a >great fixer-upper.
>TEXAS: Si Hablo Ingles; See, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!
>UTAH: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus; at least our sheep can't talk.
>VERMONT: Bet ya can't name 2 of our towns
>VIRGINIA: Please don't confuse us with West Virginia!
>WASHINGTON: We like our state, so STAY OUT!
>WEST VIRGINIA: Where "family values" has a different meaning.
>WISCONSIN: Land of funny accents; say "Cheeeese".
>WYOMING: Where men are lonely and sheep are scared.
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