15> Driver’s license exam question: “When passing on right, always
_______________.”
Your answer: “Shoot to Kill.”
14> State Farm refuses to insure a personal vehicle with gun turrets.
13> Other commuters force you into a rest area and conduct a rush-hour intervention.
12> You’ve packed enough guns and ammo to make a Tarantino film, yet you’re just going to the market to buy milk.
11> You have an open account at Earl Scheib.
10> Your blood pressure’s higher than Ditka’s.
9> Someone cuts you off and the next thing you know, two members of your carpool get killed in the crossfire.
8> You’ve developed carpal tunnel syndrome in your middle finger.
7> You mounted your wipers on the inside to clear the spit.
6> Lazy chopper pilot for Fox TV’s “Real Crashes” simply waits in vacant lot next to your garage.
5> A) Teeth marks on steering wheel all the way down to the 5 and 7 o’clock
positions;
B) You’re NOT Christian Slater, Mike Tyson, or Marv Albert.
4> Left forearm bigger than Popeye’s, from giving the finger and aiming the Uzi.
3> In traffic, that throbbing vein in your forehead gets big enough to honk the horn on its own.
2> You can’t resist firing off a few practice shots whenever you pass a Target store.
1> Two words: Feces slingshot
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