SPACIOUS - hole in the wall; compared to living in your car; that's why we're charging $200 above the going rate.
EASY ACCESS TO TRANSPORTATION - in the flight path of an airport; next to the railroad tracks; next to a major road/highway.
FRIENDLY STAFF - Doberman pincher mentality.
FREE UTILITIES - Would you pay this high rent AND the water and garbage?
HEATED POOL - only when the sun's out; only on the off chance there's water in it
WORKOUT ROOM - four walls, some free weights, a machine or two and a clunky stationary bike.
GREAT VIEWS - within touching distance of neighbors; overlooking the garbage dumpster; overlooking the pool; overlooking the cute guy/gals apartment.
AFFORDABLE - yearly income must be $100,000 or more; wealthy parents pay the rent for you.
PETS WELCOME - no kids; the odor from the previous owner's pets couldn't be removed.
AEK - All Electricity Kancelled
W/D - Will be Disillusioned; Will be Disgusted; Worried/Depressed people.
AC - Atrocious Carpeting
WWC - Wall to Wall Crap
LIGHT AND AIRY - built as cheaply as possible.
SECURE PARKING - manager's office overlooks the parking lot.
!!! - desperation to sell is linked to the number of '!!!'
RUSTIC - classic 60's decor; outhouse included; one heating vent.