· My uncle was smoking in bed last night. He fell asleep and his waterbed caught fire and he drowned.
· My husband read that smoking was bad for his health so he immediately quit reading.
· My sister was very aggressive about people smoking in her presence. If she saw someone smoking, she would immediately jerk the cigarette or cigar out of their mouth, throw it on the ground and crush it by stepping on it. She died of cancer of the foot.
· “This article says “ A man is hit by a car every 20 minutes.” - You’d think he would stay in the house.
· “Mommy, Mommy. I learned how to write in school today”.
That’s wonderful. What did you write?
“I don’t know. I haven’t learned how to read yet.”
· How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
· Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dish-washing liquid contains real lemons?
· Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
· Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
· Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
· Why do we send shipments by car, and cargo by ship?
· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
· Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
· What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
· Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
· Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
· Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
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