THE BEGINNING

It was a rather ordinary Friday for most of us. The night was starlit, calm and warm. Everybody was anticipating the three-day weekend to celebrate July 4th. I was anxious because I was anticipating my first baby. After so many tosses and turns I got to sleep. Then suddenly at 2 o'clock in the morning, a sharp pain radiating from my belly woke me. From that moment on I knew my life would never be the same again.

I woke up my husband and told him "It is time". He rushed to get dressed and woke up everybody in the house. He shouted, "Whoever is coming better move it because we are going to the hospital". My mother and his mother with the speed of a lightning were able to get dressed within seconds that would normally take them hours to prepare.

So on we went to the hospital. I was in such pain that I never knew how we got there. All I can remember was that it felt like eternity and wished that my husband would just step on the gas because I felt like I was going to explode. We were doing 70 to 90 miles per hour by the way.

I thought that the moment I stepped into the hospital's emergency room I would feel relief. I was in for a big surprise. My agony had just begun. They wheeled me to the Labor Room and had me spread in an examination room. A nurse poked her finger in me just to check how my cervix had dilated. In my thought I kicked that nurse because I hated that. The worse thing is, I'm not ready yet. The nurse told me that they will release me but had asked me to walk in the hallways to encourage dilation. So on I went scaling hallways. I went back and forth the Labor Room, the Nursery Room, and the Maternity Room hallways. I was crying. I was in such pain that I never felt before. I was contracting every two minutes. I was walking but it felt like I was crawling. Every step was an effort. I noticed someone was watching me on the other side of the building. He had this look in his face, wondering what the hell am I doing. He probably thought I was crazy but "Who cares!" I murmured. My family all went down to the cafeteria to get some breakfast because they couldn't bear to see me in such pain. So there I was alone talking to my baby, asking her to come out now.

At last after two hours the hospital admitted me back. My doctor told me the day before that I will have a c-section because my baby was not in position yet. So there I was hoping that once I lay down that hospital bed my agony will again be over because they will just put me to sleep, and when I wake up my baby will be on my side. I wanted to have this birthing process the easy way. But then again, I was in for more surprises.

They had me lay down in a cold bed in a very cold room. It was really quite a shock because my body's temperature had gone up because my body was trying to cope with the pain and the strenuous walking. Then they strapped me with instruments to monitor the baby's condition. While I was in labor, the nurse had me sign papers and even interviewed me, like what is my religion, my ethnic background and other questions that I thought were very silly. In my mind I was cussing all the bad words that I could remember. Then the doctor finally arrived; he inserted an instrument in me that popped open my water bag. My pain was now peaking. I remember I was crying to cope with the unbearable pain. My doctor said " Shut-up or you'll loss your strength when you will need it". My doctor is gay, so he has a way with his words. I remember thinking that he will never be my doctor again for being unsympathetic. But then again, I couldn't blame him. He is probably burnt out in seeing incorrigible mothers giving birth. But for God's sake, this is my first baby. I don't how what to expect, I don't know how to act and I was coping the best that I knew how. I had no idea that the birthing process was this painful. It is a pain that I could never describe. I remember praying non-stop to all the saints that I could remember at that moment. I remember my mother coming to the room trying to comfort me, making me smile and massaging my belly. It gave me at least a little comfort. I remember my aunts coming to my room one by one consoling me. My brother and his wife were there too. Somehow seeing their familiar faces gave me strength to go on. I also remember my husband going to my room just to tell me he has to go outside to smoke or to get coffee or to do almost all unnecessary things that he can think of. I remember him coming to my room with a newspaper, he sat next to me read the paper, fell asleep and then snored besides me while my pain was peaking. We even attended Lamaze classes together. I guess he never learned anything from the class.