Communication Skills
Communication skills are essential when working in groups, dealing with others in positions of authority, and expressing ideas so that people listen. Women often complain both in school and in the workplace that they feel ignored and disregarded, or that their comments aren't taken seriously. Most people believe this is a result of passive communication, but being assertive alone won't solve the problem. To succeed, women need to understand why they are ignored, and then learn how to effectively deal with it. Studies have shown that there are gender differences in classroom communication styles. Generally, men respond to questions more confidently and quickly, speaking more freely and spontaneously. Women generally wait to speak, formulating answers before expressing them. When this happens, women tend to be interrupted more often, almost devaluing their answers. This causes hesitation in future discussions.
Body language is over 60% of the message that listeners receive so don't be timid. Smile immediately and often. Be the first to extend your hand. Maintain eye contact. Learn and uses others' names. Watch your volume when speaking.
Speak Up! Usually, it is best if women do not sit and wait for others to speak before expressing their opinion. The Elizabeth Ruff Scholarship in General Engineering describes candidates as "sweet, unpretentious, unassuming girls." It is difficult to believe that anybody thinks that in a field such as engineering, anyone, women or men, can achieve anything by waiting to be asked their feelings on an issue.
You must also appear certain when answering questions. Do not be tentative. If you have figured out the answer to be three, say "The answer is three," not, "I think the answer is three," or "Three????" Just state the answer and if you are wrong, accept it.
Another difficult aspect of communication is taking things personally. Women tend to do this far more than men. If someone gets in your face and insults you, just stay calm. Let them yell and scream while you sit calmly and wait until they are finished. Then you can say, "Yes, maybe I did screw up. Let's check it to find out." This usually stops whoever is being nasty because they do not expect a reaction like this. It is then easier to handle from there.
Apologize, but not too much. It is always good to apologize and accept blame, but never grovel and make excuses for five minutes. Accept the guilt and explain how you can solve the problem.
Find out more about how to express yourself:
Women in the Engineering Industry
Advice for Young Women in Science
