| When I wake up in the morning, He is there. He greets me with a smile, and I can tell by looking in His eyes that He has my entire day planned out for me. He is awesome, this Father of mine, but I haven't realized it until just the last few years. I missed so much when I was growing up; now I am an adult and I feel as though I am starting over in this parent/child relationship. I need Him much more than I used to -- and if I forget to contact Him He reaches out to me, letting me know He is close by and in fact, missed my talking with Him during the day. He never comes home drunk or in a bad mood; I never worry what might come out of His mouth or whether He will lose His temper and lash out at me with cruel words or His belt. He does not belittle me or put me down; He never glances disparagingly at me from across the room. I have never heard Him ridicule me or bring up past faults or undermine my confidence. He always lets me know when I have succeeded, and encourages me in everything I undertake. He never makes me feel like a failure or a mistake; He is always telling me it is impossible to let Him down because He only wants me to do the best I can. If I mess up He will talk to me about it, and He never lies to me or condescends to me. He is always honest and His discipline feels more like a teacher who kindly corrects me and points me in the right direction. He never touches me inappropriately, and I never feel self-conscious around Him. There has never been a time when He even thought about me in a sexual way, or set up physical expectations of me. Sometimes I get depressed and need to be held and hugged, and my Dad is always right there. He is big enough to pick up my grown-up self in His arms and hold me; sometimes He rocks me gently, speaking soothing words of comfort which ease my fears and reach deeply inside me. When I am afraid at night He stays with me. Sometimes He sits on the edge of my bed and holds my hand or softly caresses my cheek, and I can fall asleep peacefully, safely. He tells me that He wanted me and chose me to be His child; that I am precious and a treasure to Him; and that He is building me my own special palace so that in the future I will be able to live with Him forever. I never knew how much He loved me until recently. And even now He still amazes me over and over with His continual care of me and unconditional acceptance of me. I know I never did anything to deserve the love of my Dad. But He says that I was never supposed to -- He loves me exactly as I am, and always will. He is my Heavenly Father. And I am His daughter. |