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Part V
"Oh, yes," I quipped, "I only graduated once just so I could go back to high school after I died. Jeez, you'd think I've gone to hell!" I said, laughing. She grinned, and walked out the door. "Wait for me!" I yelled, running after her. She walked down the stairs to the kitchen, and put two pop tarts in the toaster. She kissed her dad and mom, laughing and talking all the while. I could only stand there and stare in wonder at the pretty, vivacious girl I saw in front of me, who just two days ago had been shy and withdrawn. When the toaster popped up, she grabbed them, and called goodbye to her parents, explaining she would be late. The sun shone brilliantly on her hair, igniting flames. She talked nonstop the whole way. People stopped to stare at her on the street, and I found myself getting a bit jealous when guys walking on both sides of the street stopped dead in their tracks to lok at her. She called out to people she knew, and then would whisper to me what the people were really like. Everybody she called out to stopped and stared. She was oblivious to her new-found attentions, and I suddenly wondered what she normally did on a school day. I had an idea she didn't act like this when she was depressed. "Penny for your thougths?" interrupted a voice at my shoulder.
"Huh, what? I'm sorry, I just wasn't paying any attention." I looked up from the sidewalk to see her watching me with concerned eyes. "What were you saying?"
"I asked why you were so quiet. I know I must be boring you, but I can't help it. I just feel so alive, so real. Today, when I woke up and saw the sun's rays pouring through my window, I just couldn't imagine why I ever wanted to end my life. Four days ago I was ready to commit suicide again. But not anymore. I don't know why, but it's like just a couple of days with you has changed my whole outlook on life. I'm so glad you came, Barry. You gave me my life back. I've not been so happy since I was a child, before we moved here. I have you to thank."
"Well, I didn't really do anything. You did most of it yourself."
"Well, I think if you hadn't appeared to me that night, I might have tried it again."
"To take your life?" I asked.
She nodded, running a careless hand through the mass of fiery reddish-brown curls. "I was very close to trying again that night. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I was tired and depressed. But you really surprised me that night, appearing out of thin air, after seeing you earlier, just kind of made me forget all about it. And since then, I've been happy, and I've thought about my life, and I think I really don't want to end it now. There's so much I want to do." She paused and took a deep breath. "Did I ever tell you what I wanted to do when I get out of school?" she asked.
"I think you mentioned something about becoming a doctor," I said.
"Yeah. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to prove myself to everyone, to show everybody that I can do something worthwhile and importnat. And I still think that's a good goal, even if now it's for different reasons."
"You want to be a doctor for different reasons now?"
"Yeah. I really want to help people, not get back at all the people I hated in high school. So I've decided that's what I want to do."
"Good for you!" I cheered. "Who knows, maybe you'll be the one to find the cure for cancer."
"Yeah." She looked up, and suddenly her face hardened. "Well, there's the battle zone," she said. I looked up and saw the school, with all kinds of kids milling around outside. I looked over at Mercedes and saw the old fear start to creep back in. "Look, Mercedes," I said, pointing to a particularly really nerdy looking kids, "I've never seen so many ugly kids in one group together. Is it international nerd mating season week or what?" I said. That did it. She snickered, then gave way to full laughter. I gave her a hug, and siad, "Don't worry. You're stronger than them. I'll be by your side all day, to give you strength. Just remember, they can only bother you if you let them." She just nodded, but the rigid fear was gone. "you can't commmunicate with me during the day, but when I see you alone, I'll talk to you. And remember, when they insult you, insult them back! And," I added, "If you can't think of any good ones, I'll whisper a few in your ear until you get good at it." This made her smile, and we walked up the steps. As she walked down the halls, I noticed people everywhere turning and staring after her, as if they had never seen her before. Many of them were guys, and I almost laughed at the wondering expressions they all seemed to wear. It was like they had never seen her make an effort to look good. Many of the girls wore expressions of absolute jealousy and hatred. I followed Mercedes to her locker and asked her quietly, "What did you usually wear to school?"
She looked around before answering, and seeing no one nearby, whispered, "I usually don't wear makeup and these kind of clothes to school."
"Why not? You should see everyone staring at you."
"Really? How do you know?" she whispered back.
"Because, I've been looking behind us ever since we came in, and almost everyone has stopped dead to look."
"Oh my gosh," she said, but broke off when she saw her friend Marissa coming toward her.
"Oh, Lord, what I heard was true! You actually dressed up for school!" Marissa stopped at the locker next to Mercedes' and began twirling the combination lock. "So, what's up, I know today's not picture day," she joked.
"I don't know," Mercedes replied with a smile, "I just felt like being different for a change," as she turned to open her locker door.
"Well, if you ask me, it's about time you gave up those old maid clothes, for something more upbeat!" She yanked open her locker door and books and folders tumbled to the floor. "Damn! I knew I should have cleaned up this mess Friday!" Just then, the bell rang.
"I'll catch you in Slater's class," Mercedes called, as she shut her locker door and started down the hall. "yeah, just leave me here by myself to the mess! But if it eats me alive, my death will be on your concience!" Mercedes just laughed, and went on down the hallway. I quickly followed, hurrying after her quickly vanishing figure.
Today was such fun! This is the best time I've had in school since I don't know when. All day long, Barry kept me company. I found myself talking to people I normally wouldn't have dared open my mouth in front of, let alone talk to! But the best part of the day came when the snotty Shanna came up to me in the hall and accused me of flirting with her boyfriend! Can you imagine it! Like I'd want any uppity boyfriend of hers! But luckily, Barry was there, and he whispered a few really nasty insults in my ear to say. Some of them I definitely do not want to repeat! But they worked like a charm. Her face got so red! I know I shouldn't have, but I rally couldn't help myself. It was so cool to see her be the one laughed at and made fun of. I think I'm going to enjoy school from now on!
From that day on, I was Mercedes' constant companion. I have to admit, I have enjoyed myself. Especially in that first confrontation with that Shanna girl. I have to compliment myself on some of the insults I managed to come up with. I guess I haven't lost my touch yet! Now, Mercedes has been coming up with some of her own. Each day she grows more confident, and the less of my help she needs. It still comes as a shock to most people about the almost 360 change in her attitude. Sometimes I even wonder about it myself. The only reasoning that I can see is that she's never had any guys pay any attention to her before, and just knowing one member of the male species likes her for what she is gave her the confidence to build on. Mercedes just explains it as finally waking up and realizing there was no point in moping around for the rest of her life. No one ever bothers to question her answer, and everyone just goes on their merry little ways. It's been a few months since I first came here, in early March. We've grown closer as we spend more and more time together, but she still thinks of me as a friend and big brother. She's over came her shyness and pretty much goes her own way now, but she still comes to the "big brother" for advice and help sometimes concerning the darndest things. I'm afraid to think of what she'll ask for next.
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