October 16, 1997
Today has been really good so far... Jevim and I didn't end up getting
upset or unhappy last night, and we had a nice talk on the phone before bed,
though I'm not sure how awake he was by the sound of his voice at the very end.
*smile* I went to bed when he did and so I wasn't half-asleep when the alarm
went off this morning and I hopped online. He was late, but it was because he
was taking a shower, and he came to the computer in just a towel. *grin* We got
a little carried away, despite a few distractions that I had here (Mom and the cat), and he went in to work about an hour late, but we both had a nice early-morning, so I think it was worth it.
I didn't go back to sleep, and I spent a good deal of the morning working on
pages for my online class group, editing a rather complicated template page with lots of tables and such, and Judith liked my work, now she calls me "WebWoman" 'cause I'm good with the HTML. It looks like we're going to be in another class together starting next week; we're both "learn-a-holics" as she says, and we have a lot of webby-type stuff in common, so I think I've found a new friend.
Mom and I went out and I paid her for my bills, and we went to the library (didn't find much, but it was "OUT" instead of being stuck in the house all day), and to a couple shops downtown, then came back and I finished up the HTML project I was working on.
I had a weird dream this morning before the alarm went off... I think part of it
was playing with the scene from Men In Black in the pawn shop (it started in some little shop like that, minus the fancy weapons), and I wound up with a companion turkey (Okay, maybe it was an alien that looked like a turkey... I warned you it was a weird dream) and we went off to some sort of amusement park or county fair and the turkey started getting really dehydrated and overheated, and was more like the skin of a turkey without the turkey inside it. I found someplace with some shade and a bucket and a pool of water, and I doused him with it (missed his legs and feet at first but someone pointed it out) and he was soaked, but started to revive and look more like a real turkey
again. What it means, I dunno... really, really wierd. But not frustrating like
yesterday's dream.
Yesterday, I dreamt that Jevim had come to visit me, and we were on a campus somewhere, and we visited between classes, but then at the very end, he was on the other side of a large clear plastic/rubber "wall"... I could see him and hear him, and feel his fingers pressed against mine through the sheet of plastic, but I couldn't touch him, couldn't hug him, and couldn't hold him. It left me feeling very frustrated, which is about how I've been feeling lately anyway, being apart from him.
I told him about it last night, and he said that's sort of how he feels, because he can feel my emotions, but he can't reach out and hold me like he wants to.
P.S. You may wonder why I gave yesterday an "okay" rating [note: I used to have a "rating system" on my index page, but did away with it after a few weeks] after my entry about mom and the letter... After sitting down and writing all these pages, and talking to Jevim about the letter, it felt like my day had more or less balanced out... I wasn't so upset after
the initial shock and numbness wore off. I actually considered confronting Mom about the letter, but I didn't do it.
|| Previous Entry | Next Entry | Home | Journal Index ||
