Without change, what will I be like five years from now? What do I want? How can I get it? What am I willing to do to get it?
By leaving I mean that the present situation is left. That could be that you move out with your children; that you move out without the children; that you obtain a restraining and vacate order and he leaves; or it could mean that you both leave the house or apartment.
Reasons to Leave
It is easier for a woman to make a decision to save her children than it is to make a decision to save herself. If the children are attacked she can act. If she is hit, she may still stay, thinking it is best for the children because they need a father. The truth is that she needs to be safe and the children need to be safe. Everyone needs to be safe. That is the priority. Nothing takes precedence over that. Safety. First. All else comes later. Safety from bodily harm for myself and the children
A feeling of being safe; Okay, at rest, not in turmoil, content that things are in order, a feeling of well-being; not having to look over your shoulder, nor feel like a fugitive nor walk on egg shells, nor measure your words. Increased peace and tranquility
Our sense of self-respct in great part comes from the messages we get from those around us. When the message is a beating or verbal abuse it is hard to maintain one's self-respect. Self-confidence often comes from the positive reinforcement received from past behavior. When the reinforcement is a beating it is heard to have self-confidence. Self-identity comes from the image you have of yourself and the image other have of you. Looking at a swollen face in the mirror or feeling the pain of black and blue bruises doesn't encourage a positive self-identity. More self-respect, self-confidence, and a sense of identity