Your Song

A Letter To My Son

My Dearest Corey ~

It was my intention to write this letter and put it away for safe-keeping, only to be opened after I'm gone, that you may know how much I love you, and to have something to remember me by.

After much consideration and reflection upon the condition of the world, I have decided to do it now. No one knows what tomorrow may bring. And with you in the military, it is a tragic fact that you may be sent on a detail you may never return from.

The day you were born was and always will be the happiest day of my life. The memories of the pain I suffered in childbirth hold no comparison to the memories of joy you have brought to my life. You have been my greatest accomplishment, and I am constantly in awe of the precious gift God has given me in you. It was truly remarkable watching you grow more and more each day, watching you develop your own little personality, listening to you form words, and then listening to your endless chatter. You were the happiest child I'd ever seen, and you spread your happiness and laughter everywhere you went. Even though I had to be employed full time, I missed you tremendously during the day. But I (we) were so blessed to have found Clara as your sitter who raised you by the same ideals and acted as your mother when I couldn't be with you.

I always wished I could have provided the "family" that every other child seemed to have, but I failed terribly in that respect, and for that I am truly sorry. I always felt you needed a father, but in my search for one, I never found "that man" that would meet not only my needs but yours also. How your own father could not love you and want you constantly amazes me. I used to hate him for it, but now I feel nothing but pity. Someday he will figure out the tremendous loss he has suffered.

As I look at you now, so tall and handsome, I still cannot believe you are my son. I am so very proud of you, Corey, and what you have become. You have set goals for yourself in your mind, and you have achieved those goals at such a young age. Whenever I look at you, my eyes fill with tears at the tremendous pride that fills my heart. You have always treated me and everyone else with the utmost respect, and if one learns respect for others, one has learned the most valuable lesson of life. There have been days when I thought I could travel the path of life no longer, but you unknowingly carried me through those days and made me see I had something very precious to live for.

My heart is so full of 21 years of memories ~ your birth, your little suits for church, Pooh and Tigger being your constant companions, teaching you how to ride a bike, T-ball, little league, basketball, soccer, playground and all your costumes, band and concerts, great report cards and High Honors, buying your first car together, taking you driving, dating, proms, you and Richard in the kitchen, you with Sam & Lady, BeeBop & Babe, and Peetie, your graduation, your first time away from home at Basic Training (which I think was harder on me than it was on you), pictures of you in your uniform, you getting Rog and I together, you as a mechanic working on our vehicles at Darling Ford, your full-time position with the Maine Army National Guard, and seeing you in parades in your uniform. And now you can even manage money!! All my prayers have come true! ~smile~

You are everything I had hoped you would be, Corey, and then some. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine you would turn out the way you have, and I thank God for His constant guiding hand in helping me raise you. You are twice the man your father will ever be, and you should be very, very proud of what you have accomplished.

Please never forget how very much I love you and how very proud I am of you, son.

Along with my father, you are my hero, Corey. Keep doing what you're doing ~ always pray for guidance, watch your language, respect others, and don't let the hate that fills the world fill your heart. Always treat others the way you would like to be treated, and patience, my son. Always remember patience.

I love you, Cor!

From my favorite Elton John song, Your Song:

" . . . how wonderful life is while you're in the world . . ."

~ Always and Forever,
Mom

The young Mother set her foot on the path of life.
"Is this the long way?" she asked. And her guide said:
"Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old
before you reach the end of it.
But the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young Mother was happy,
and she would not believe that anything
could be better than these years.
So she played with her children, and gathered
flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams;
and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the
children shook with fear and cold, and the Mother drew them close
and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,
"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead,
and the children climbed and grew weary, and the Mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children,
"A little patience and we are there."
So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said,
"Mother, we would not have done it without you."
And the Mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars
and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children
have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them
courage. Today I have given them strength."

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth --- clouds
of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled,
and the Mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light."
And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory,
and it guided them beyond the darkness.
And that night the Mother said," This is the best day of all, for I have
shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and
the Mother grew old...and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage.
And when the way was rough, they lifted her,
for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill,
and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.

And the Mother said: "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know
the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone,
and their children after them."
And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother,
even when you have gone through the gates."

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone,
and the gates closed after her. And they said:
"We cannot see her, but she is with us still.
A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She is a living presence."

Your Mother is always with you
She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street,
she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks,
she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.
Your Mother lives inside your laughter
And she's crystalized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home;
And she's the map you follow with every step you take.
She's your first love and your first heartbreak,
and nothing on earth can separate you...
Not time, not space... not even death!

Many thanks to Dani's Delusions (site no longer available) for the use of the beautiful poem.