I thought I would talk about love and relationships. Sometimes when we have been in a relationship for awhile it begins to show signs that some of the shine has worn off.
Instead of calling to say he will be late, your mate sends you an email. You fix a wonderful candlelight supper, pack the kids and the dog off to Grandma's and then 20 minutes after supper, he is asleep. The main time you see each other is at functions for the children, and it is the dog that follows you to bed, not your spouse.
Of course you have a good marriage. Of course your relationship is stable. You won't likely be seeing a marriage therapist, no traumas will haunt you. BUT don't you, sometimes, in that quiet little corner that is yours alone, wish you had a magic wand to make it dazzle again, like when you first were together. Your thoughts, your eyes, and yes, even your hands couldn't stay away from each other.
You seem to be in a sort of holding pattern. The fires of passion seem to have gotten buried somewhere between the carpool and your job. For a moment you lose sight of the relationship that once filled you with such joy and excitement.
It was once said that a marriage doesn't suffer a blowout, but rather a slow leak. Little by little you begin to take each other for granted. Sort of like an old pair of shoes. You get so comfortable you forget they may need a bit of polish. It doesn't really take up much of your thought. You're just glad it is there, but you forget to pay it much attention.
This happens to a lot of us in todays busy world. We focus so much on the mundane, that we become very comfortable with the Status Quo. Can we make it better? Can we brighten it up? Can we bring to the forefront, that which has been sort of pushed to the back? Of course we can!
Put in a little appreciation. Tell him that he is important to you, that he is still the same handsome man he was. That he is a good provider, a good lover, a good friend, a good listener. Not necessarily in that order.
Put in a little something to break up the routine. Put the little love notes in the briefcase, a little something special in the sock drawer, fix a special heart shaped cookie, or meatloaf. Meet him at the door in a bright red ribbon draped discreetly across yourself. Just be sure it is him before you answer the door. Don't want the mailman or your mother to die of shock.
Put in a period of time, carved out just to pamper him. In doing that, you will reap the rewards as well. I will let you figure out just what pampering he would find his alone. It doesn't matter so much what you are doing, but that you are doing it TOGETHER.
Put in a list of activities you would like him to do with you, and encourage him to make a list too. Or put the choices in a bowl, and draw one out periodically. Try to find a book or movie you would both enjoy, and find time to discuss each others thoughts. We are supposed to have differences of opinion, but we need to take time to at least listen to each others views.
Put in all the litle things you now think of as flaws, that you used to find so endearing. It isn't really important to your relationship, so leave them IN the box.
Put in a "date" with him. It doesn't have to cost much, a walk in the park, or through the mall, stopping for your favorite refreshment. The main thing is to concentrate only on enriching your relationship.
Put in anything you can think of to bring your marriage, and its importance, to the forefront of your lives. Don't take this time for granted, as it is very fragile, and needs to be cared for like a flower garden.
The proper loving care, along with the right balance of life-giving nutrients, will bring the shine back to your marriage, and you will be rewarded with years of happiness. I speak from experience, as this year we will celebrate 50 years of marriage, and he is still my best friend.
Our hair is a bit grey, our glasses rest on the nightstand, and gravity is taking its toll, but I polish up our relationship on a regular basis.
