For me, my sorority experience has been very valuable. I realize no one has the exact same experience, but my advice to young women in the greek system, and those considering it, is that your experience will be exactly what you make of it. If you are determined to be enriched by each experience, positive or negative, than you will be. If you are determined to be miserable or make others miserable, than that’s exactly what you’ll do.

I am reminded of a story… a young woman was walking into a small town. She happened upon a wise old woman who was working in her garden. The young woman asked, "What kind of people live in this town?" The old woman asked in return "What kind of people were in the town you just left?" The young woman responded, "They were kind, thoughtful and caring." And the old woman replied, "That is the exactly the kind of people you will find here." The next day another young woman walked into the town and asked the woman the same question. Again, the old woman asked, "What kind of people were in the town you just left?" "The people were cruel, selfish and nosey," was the response. To which the wise woman replied, "That is exactly the kind of people you will find here."

How do 45 women live in one house and have so many different opinions on how that living experience affects them? Because each of us comes into the house with different expectations. Do you expect your collegiate experience to be perfect? Or do you more realistically expect to enjoy positive experiences and learn from the negative ones? Do you expect to be liked by every member? Or do you hope to develop a few close friendships, knowing that the bond of sisterhood blends all your differences into a beautiful tapestry?

Our motto "We Live For Each Other" becomes even more important when we begin to Live WITH Each Other… we must put aside our selfishness. In Phillippians 2:3-4, Paul urges "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." This is advice given to all who consider themselves Christians, and good advice for all – believers or not! How would it hurt you to act in this way? If you think you wouldn’t get what you deserve, just try it once and find that you get more than you deserve – even more than you ever expected!

Young women need a place where they can just be girls. By designating a private area of the house "off limits" to guys (men & boys) gives our sisters the opportunity to "let their hair down" – they don’t have to worry about how they are dressed or what they might say in confidence to their sisters.

I find it amusing that our collegiate members insist on being called "Women" as many act more like children – constantly pushing "the rules" to see how far they can bend. The sad thing is that if you bend the rules, it is yourself that you hurt. Before changing the rule, think about why it is the way it is… is it there to protect you?

A sister for life.

I have been even more enriched by the years I’ve spend as an involved alumna – either in developing the Orange County Alumna Association in the late 80’s or as Chapter Advisor for the last three years. I wish I could express this in such a way that more women would want to be involved. But I find that each of us has our own timing, our own needs. Some women coming into Southern California for the first time find a great resource for social and professional networking. Some have found employment and living arrangements as well as new friends. I’m glad that there was a chapter that needed me when I had time to give. I’m glad that I was available to be a friend for a sister who had just moved here and didn’t know anyone else. I’m glad that there is a group of women I can safely go out with to "get away" for an evening. I hope that we are able to instill an expectation among our collegiate members to remain involved as they go out in the big world.

I missed the opportunity to both be a legacy and to have one... my mother was in college in the late 50's, and some of her friends and dormmates were members of a sorority. But that was a time when women were invited to join a sorority based on social rank and the merits of ones' parents. Today women are more likely to be invited to join a sorority because of the person they are. Additionally, since my sister died in High School, I never had the opportunity to encourage her to become a sorority girl.

As an alumna, I have seen and appreciate the benefits of being a legacy -- having a close relative attend ceremonies and going to Conventions together, sharing the sisterhood. Certainly, in families where there are members of different sororities there is always the benefit of Panhellenic involvement, it is not the same thing.

I hope that when my girls are in college that they are women that Alpha Delta Pi wants to have as members and that there are women my girls want to have as sisters. I cannot completely understand the decision that some young women have made to join a sorority other than those of their sisters, mothers or grandmothers. I have heard the reasoning that they wanted to have a different identity, but I have found that each chapter, no matter how large or small, needs women of all types to make the chapter complete. Additionally, I would hope that a legacy sees the invitation by another sorority to join as an honor but chooses to join her relatives' sorority as an opportunity to improve the standing or reputation of that chapter.

In the last few years the greek system at USC has come under the criticism of faculty and administration. One of the concerns addressed is that of social rejection. Certainly the issue is not without merit, but in a collegiate system that rates itself on the basis of applicants accepted and rejected, it seems unusual to make this an issue of crisis proportions. League sports, the Business School (and its Entrepreneur Program), Movie & TV Department, Cheerleaders, and performers are all required to "try out" or make special applications even after acceptance as a full-time student at USC. Again, not all who desire to be in these programs "make it" and again the selection of those is considered vital to each areas' success. Why should the greek system be any different?