IN MEMORY OF MOM
When I decided to do this page - I wanted to put it to the memory of my special Mother, my best friend. I lost her to Heaven on Tuesday, March 18, 1997 at 8am. A loss I am still grieving for and will be for sometime. She had gallbladder cancer, which there is no cure. No, I did not want to lose her, but, I did put it in Jesus's hands. He was very gentle with her, she did not suffer terribly, we were all with her, and she was alert right to the last minute.
One very big praise I want to share - SHE WAS SAVED!!!!
She will be waiting with Jesus at Heaven's Gate when it is my turn. I would like to share with you a poem I wrote the night she passed on and was read at her funeral.
'Everyday we talked to keep in touch -
And, we always told each other - I love you very much.
I know I am being selfish and I really couldn't stand your pain, but, I couldn't stand letting you go.
WHAT am I going to do- now - without you??
We know you didn't want to leave us and worried what would happen once you left,
But, we couldn't talk - only- wept..
I know you are in Heaven now-but-that doesn't stop the tears,
You are in a beautiful, loving place -not alone- and finally, with no fear..
.
The pain is gone, you hurt no more....
You walked up the cloud and Jesus opened the door..
.
'Come in, Dorothy, through THIS space,
Willie, BJ and Marjorie have saved YOU a special place.'
I know, Mom, you loved us all and I'm very sure you'll be waiting for each of us
at Heaven's Gate.
(Dear Jesus, please give me lots of grace -so- I can wait.)
Mom, I will always love you.
Memories??? I have many.
Shannon 
misses you calling her Grandma's Sugar Bunny.
I'll miss you - calling me Sis.
You will forever be in my heart and not ever out of my thoughts.
I'm very thankful to know you are Home now, and at PEACE!!!!
I miss you Mom, and love you very much.
It means so much to me that I can do this. I try to tell everyone to talk and cherish every moment they can with their Moms. Mom's have a very special place in our hearts and can be filled by no other. We aren't ever ready to lose them, love them with your ever being.
Thank you for sharing this with me.
God Bless You.
Here it is Feb. 15, l998; I haven't been to this page since
first writing it....it is the very first page I
did on my web site...Now, I feel something needs to be added.
That life doesn't really end
I believe in life eternal,
Cause the Bible says its true,
That when life on earth has ended
Inner spirit isn't through.
God has sent us here to test us,
To see if we can become
Worthy of new life in Heaven
When our life on earth is done.
Faith in Jesus is the answer,
He's God's very special son.
He died on the cross to save us,
You and I and everyone.
He'll come to you and change your life.
He does this when you believe.
He forgives your sins and helps you
Live to give, not to receive.
It will soon be a year since we lost MOM
but, it is just like yesterday..I find myself thinking
what we were doing together
this time last year.
Sad???? oh, yes...but,also,comforting to know she is
in HEAVEN and not suffering this year.
It helps to know she is with Jesus.
There's not much I can do
He will welcome her through
And love her too.
But, you'll go on in pain
For here--you must remain,
Remembering her charms.
Our many prayers for you
Will see you through,
And surely time will heal
Though now we know you feel
That nothing can help you.
But, thank the Lord above
For your mom's love.
Within your hearts she'll stay
Showing God's wond'rous way
To reach Heaven above.
March 17, 1998 - I have so many emotions swirling in my mind.
It has been hard since the first of the year. The memories
with Mom, shopping, doctor, eating out,
doctor, hospital etc.. I can remember every minute..
And, especially, this week...leading up to her death.
You see, the doctors didn't see Mom's death coming. We were told
the
cancer was back, but, not real serious yet.
I spent every minute I could with her..(She didn't want
to be left alone.)
A year ago tonight, my cousin decided to spend the
night with mom..
Thank God - she did. Because she is the one that called and told us to come to the hospital.
The doctor's were called in, but, they still didn't see
or tell us - Mom was dying. We were all with her..I was talking to her - trying
not to let her see me crying. ( I guess deep down, I knew what was
happening - just didn't want to admit it. DENIAL)
I was holding her hand, she tried to tell me something.
I ask her - 'what did you say, mom?' She tried
to tell me again...( I still don't know what she said.) She took a
couple of short breathes. I screamed for the nurses.
I lost my mom that morning..
The doctor came back in
and said to us...'I was going to let her go home this week.'
I try not to think about it...still in denial...I guess.
But, doesn't change the fact that tomorrow will be 1 year
since losing her...It has been a real hard year.
I keep waiting for a sign from her...waiting for her to tell me that she forgives me..
Because, you see, I kept telling her it wasn't her cancer
(that's what the doctors told us)and she believed me..
I feel I lied to my beautiful Mom.
Whenever Mom needed help, she would call me and
I would fix the problem.
I was always able to fix things for mom..But, I couldn't fix this.
I love you, Mom..and miss you SO very much..
Please,forgive me.
March 18, 1997
One year ago, God took you home
For your burden was too great,
God said,"Just put them down,"
From now on, you'll walk with me
on the beloved sacred grounds.
You gave your love and kindness
to your family, your home and friends,
You walked with many - through the years
They couldn't make it on their own.
You listened to sad stories
Even cried with some,
God said, "It's your turn now,
I saw your footprints in the sand.
Sincere and true in your heart and mind
A beautiful memory you left behind.
Such a good nature, you couldn't help but love,
A heart that was purer than gold
And, to those who knew and loved you,
Your memory will never grow cold.
Sadly missed by your chilren. We love you....God bless.
March 18, 1998...I, actually, got through today a little better than
We went to the cemetery and put flowers on Mom's grave.
It is still hard to think of her being there - under the dirt.
Oh,I know - she is NOT there..She is in Heaven with our
wonderful Jesus. I do have comfort in that...
But, the grief, pain and missing my Mom is still here.
There are times
We lose our confidence
easily,
we feel bewildered,
and carry with us a feeling
of disappointment.
When we feel like this,
when we are feeling
distresed within ourselves,
we have to learn new ways
for coping with our lives.......
we have to search
for new beginnings.
We have to learn
new ways to help us
find peace and contentment
once again;
new ways to help us
make a richer life
for ourselves.
We will never know
just what we can do--
how we can change our lives--
unless we try.
We will never know
until we ask God
to help us search
for a richer life.
And to hlep us
to start again,
as we make our lives,
if only for a while
a journey of new beginnings.
Pauline Smith
My new beginning began 1 year ago today.
I, now, have a special guadian angel - Mom.
Be sure to check out the POEMS
...on this page are more poems I would like to
share
with you. They are,also, in dedication.
March 18, l999 is fast approaching and it will be two
years since losing Mom...The pain has eased somewhat,but,
missing her is still there...(Big time) Sometimes, the tears
come from nowhere...I find myself wanting to call
her...We always went shopping and out to eat...When we went
on vacation last year, I wanted to call her and ask her to go.
She would have had a Grand time... Mom isn't here, of
course - But, - she is --in spirit-- and in my memories..But,
most of all
in my heart.
I wrote this poem as a memorial for her..It will be in the
paper on the date of her passing.
Dorothy
March 18,l997
TWO years - Can you believe it???
The LORD called our mother home....
She was an angel in disguise -
you know;
Maybe, not to you - but -
in her families eyes...
It is so hard to lose someone
you love.
And, even more when it is MOM.....
We can't guess when -
nor, would we want too;
BUT - MOM - I MISS YOU SO!!!
We should count our many
blessings,
That HE took you ever so gently...
OH,ALAS!!! It doesn't stop
the pain.
When HE came to you - and said;
'Dorothy, take my hand.
We will walk to the
streets of Gold.
You are free of misery
now--and,,sooooo----
The family you left behind?
Mountains for them I still need
to move.
They have memories - but-
MOST of all;
They had the love from
YOU.
Now, you are in MY mansion
of many rooms.
And, in the arms of THE
GREATEST LOVE.'
Mom, I know this is just
a poem, an ode.
But, I can picture it
ever so clearly.
(Although, it still hurts me so.)
You are walking through the clouds -
with our LORD OF HEAVEN
hand in hand...
Lovingly you go, with a wave of goodbye-
to us below..
I know we will meet again -
someday
In that
wonderful land.
I know I have many trials
in my life -but- I have no fear.
MY LOVING JESUS (and,you)
shall help them disappear..
I miss you, MOM and love you so..
Char
we all do,
Tam, Deb, Rose, and Mike.
Here it is March 18,2000 - This year I have tried very hard
to ignore - NOT - to think about this date.....But, to no avail - it came anyway....I really hate to see the number of years add
up regarding the loss of Mom.....
The weather today is very
similar to March 18, 1997.
It is dark and gloomy - only difference is
- instead - of rain; it is snowing and the
snowflakes are big flakes and so beautiful....
Hi Mom:
I am sorry I haven't written before now.....It seems I just
couldn't bring myself to do it....Like - if I didn't think
about
or do anything - I could change it....But, of course that is
very silly, I know....The memories of the last weeks with you
keep flooding into my mind.....That is okay - I don't mind - I
just want to add a different ending to the story....
And, it
hurts so bad because I can't.....I know you are in a better
place, without pain and -finally- happy....It just doesn't help my
pain of losing you...my pain of not seeing you...my pain of not
being able to say 'I LOVE YOU'....Don't get me wrong - I am
very grateful you didn't have to suffer very much or for very
long-(I am being selfish only)....I thank the LORD - HE was as
gentle as HE was with you...I MISS YOU!!!
Three years ago today, at this minute - I was holding you in
my arms - having a very hard time accepting - you were on your
way to HEAVEN....Rose, Deb, Tammie, Mike, Dale, Lee, Traci,
Shannon, Dawn, Christopher, Kirsten, Scott, Vada, oh, so many
of your family was there...Of course, your wonderful niece,
Nellie was also....She spent the night with you,,she is the
one that called us and told us to come.....WE were there with
you in your final minutes.....I thank GOD and Nellie for that..
I got to say, 'I LOVE YOU' and you smiled and told me back...I
wouldn't change that....You were looking at me, with Pastor
Jay at your side - when you took THE LORD'S hand...It was like
you were asking me if it was okay -(remember, when you use to
ask me about something and wanted to know if it was okay)...
Well,
that morning - you ask me with your eyes - I just looked at you
for a couple of seconds, battling with myself -
(I can still see
that look from you)....Pastor Jay was saying -'Dorothy this
is
the hard part....The LORD is here - take his hand - It will
be okay'...I -finally- just nodded my head slightly...
You looked
at me and closed your eyes......I know it was for the best, I
KNOW IT WAS.....
I LOVE YOU AND
MISS YOU VERY MUCH.....
When somebody dies, a cloud turns into
an angel and flies up to tell GOD
to put another flower on a pillow.
A bird gives the message back to
the world, and sings a silent prayer
People dis-
appear, but they never really go away.
The spirits up there put the sun to
bed, wake up grass, and spin the
earth in dizzy circles.
Sometimes you
can see them dancing in a cloud during
the day-time, when they're supposed
to be sleeping.
They paint the rain-
bows and also the sunsets and make
waves splash and tug at the tide.
They toss shooting stars and listen to
wishes. And when they sing wind-
songs, they whisper to us, don't
miss me too much. The view is nice
and I'm doing just fine.
Well, mom, I will finish this letter to you....I put some
flowers
on your grave today - I just got home...
The
snow had stopped and a cold wind was blowing...
It is
still very hard for me to visit your grave, but-
I
know you were watching from your HEAVENLY chair - saying,
'I'm okay - I LOVE EACH OF YOU VERY MUCH'........
March 18, 2001 - Well, here it is - 4 YEARS AGO this very minute,
Mom - You went to HEAVEN...No matter how hard I try to deny this
day; it always comes around again...I seem to do very well at
closing doors and not think about what is inside...But, it ALWAYS
opens up - doesn't it???
This past year - there have been times I wanted to call you - just to hear your voice...Then I remember...I keep waiting for you to talk to me some evening, but, you haven't come to me yet...Shannon talks of you very often and sometimes at night as I am putting her to bed - she starts to cry and talks about how very much she misses you...We talk about our memories for awhile and I tell her about her very 'special' angel watching over her.. That seems to ease her and she lays down to think for awhile before going to sleep......
No matter how we try to deny March 18, 1997 - it will always be part of our lives as you were....The pain is still there...By now, you know Aunt Betty has come to HEAVEN and joined you...Who was to know - she had the same thing as you...She probably had it when we were taking care of you...Her death and funeral was very hard on all of us...I re-lived the days of your death and it didn't help that Aunt Betty looked so much like you...Even Dennis said he had forgotten how much the two of you looked alike...He referred to our arrangements in order to help her girls through their grief....I didn't know they were going to play 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS' and when it started - I fell apart because I wasn't at Aunt Betty's funeral anymore - I was at yours...My goodness, the pain and hurt...Yes, time helps ease as the years pass...But, there are times all the years can't erase...I miss you, miss talking with you, miss sharing our lives with you...Can't say I miss loving you because I will love you always...But, I miss telling you...Wait a minute - I tell you I love you in my mind and heart everyday....Do you hear me???
WEll, I have a lot to say - but, as I read my page...Most of it has been said already...so, I will let you go now...I MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND LOVE YOU EVEN MORE, MOM.....GOD BLESS YOU!!!
Mom - you are a part of us - for always and forever....
MOM is a special gift
given to us all.
The smile from MOM
is sunlight on a cloudy day.
And every smile
given to MOM
is returned.
MOM is a friend
one whom I could talk to.
and listen to,
without judging.
MOM didn't ignore my faults
but accepted them as part of me.
MOM had a shoulder to lean on
when I needed support,
a touch when I did well,
and a sympathetic ear,
when I failed.
MOM was a person
I could laugh with
about everything.
One I could cry with - without shame,
and whom I could trust completely.
MOM WAS A PART OF MY LIFE
AND WILL BE A PART OF ME
ALWAYS.
I love you, mom.
Char
Here we are - it is July 5,2002- 5 years and 3 1/2 months since Mom's death. I wrote a poem - which was in the paper the week of her death...It has been a tough year for me...So, I am late with posting on this page....Time does help with the pain...But, the memories in your heart stay fresh within you forever. I wrote this poem with all the love given to us by our mom and with all the love we had and have for her....
Now five years have passed on by;
Changes have come about - time continues to fly.
Mountains are still there for each of us to climb;
We know you are watching over us - those you left behind.
A beautiful rose, red cardinal in a tree and a limb begins to sway;
I know it is a whisper from 'you' -telling us - you are okay.
It starts to rain like the tears on my cheek - I can't erase
The rainbow in the sky - it is the GLOW of your face.
I miss you, WE miss you - our compassionate 'Mom';
Of course, life goes on - day to day - never knowing what's to come.
OH! just once more to hear your voice say 'Whatcha need?'
We miss seeing you sitting, in the sunlight on the porch, Mom, smiling indeed.
I can vision you, Dad, BJ and Marjorie sitting on a cloud;
Gone is the hurt and pain - happiness all around.
You walk with all your loved ones down the streets paved with gold;
I know you're safe and in your heart, our love you continue to hold.
You are gone from our lives but in our hearts you'll always live;
We have our memories - only 'Mom' could ever give.
A legacy we shall carry through generations and down the years;
From our 'Mom' - Dorothy, a beautiful lady and what a dear.
***************SO**********************
One more time we wish to say -
We love you, We miss you; yesterday, tomorrow, but,
Most of all TODAY!
GOD BLESS YOU - from Char
In our hearts - Rosemary, Deb, Tammie and Mike
Your love continues on with your grandchildren and great-granchildren.
The 'MEMORIES' shall never die.
,
JESUS SAID:
'I am the light for the world! Follow me, and you won't be walking in the dark. You will have the light that gives life.'
John 8:12
Get your own Free Home Page
