June 7, 1998
Lisa,
Well, here it is. The journal you've been BEGGING me to put online. Took me a good hour to get all the graphics right. Hope you like it. It's only 10:30 am and I'm already primed to kill the children! LOL!! I swear, if they start listening to me at some later date, I'd probably fall over from the shock of it!! Got a lot to do today, what with it being the man-child's 5th birthday and all. So, this entry is going to be rather short. I figure once a week entries oughta do it, but we'll see. Who knows when the muse will strike, eh?? Sigh. I know you're just a teenager (gods, doesn't that sound like an adult phrase!) but, I gotta say this. I hope that you will keep in mind that all the horrible stuff that you feel and happens to you during these years isn't all there is to life. I talk to you, and all of that comes back to me. I wish that I had understood that when I was your age. It gets worse, believe me, before it gets better, but it DOES get better! There is a certain freedom that comes when you are out on your own, making your own decisions, and suffering the consequences of the same, whether good or bad. Huh, I really have no idea what I'm trying to say here, hehehehe. Suffice it to say, I remember how it was, and I will help you out in any way I can. You know, I sit here, and look back at my life, and I realize that everything I've ever gone through has been a lesson. Isn't that interesting? I have learned a lot about myself, and it seems that the best learned lessons are the ones where the experience was the most horrendous. When all that stuff happened with me and Satan, how he was gonna leave me for some young tramp, etc. I learned so much about myself, what I can and can't handle, things about me personally, how I feel about things inside. Well, anyways, that's gonna be it for now. Gotta get busy with the birthday stuff. See you soon Lisa!

June 14, 1998
Lisa,
It's not been a very good week. Of course, you know, Girl died on Thursday. I haven't cried like that since The Incident. I keep thinking we could have done more, should have done more. Poor Satan, he cried and cried. I hate seeing a man cry. I feel guilty every time I play with the other two ferrets. Wishing Girl was with them. Anyways, I've asked the RingMaster of All Things Ferrety if I can put her Memorial page on the ring, since I already have one page on the ring already. Hope to hear back from him soon. Anyways, so, because of that, I'm not doing very well this week. I'm depressed a lot. But Satan and I were able to sit and talk last night, just about all kinds of stuff, and that was nice. Kinda got a little of that old closeness back. It's strange. I look at him and think, Gods, I miss him. And then I wonder why I think that. Things have gone back to normal. I don't know. So weird. Sigh. Jeez, I thought I had more to talk to you about, but, my mind seems to have gone blank. Maybe, when I can think of it, and I can get hold of the 'puter, I'll write more. In the meantime, congrats to you on your new Community Leader status! See ya soon Lisa!

June 21, 1998
Lisa,
Remember to wish your dad a Happy Father's Day. I was a good girl this year and remembered to send him a card, and even sent it with enough time to get there! Wonder of wonders! Hehehehe. Of course, dear Satan works today. Poor thing. Not that I think he really cares.

Oh, remember when we were talking about those houses yesterday? And I showed you the outside of two of them? Well the one I really liked is the one we looked at yesterday. And, another miracle, Satan liked it too! So, we're working on getting it. I'm so excited! I love that house. It's just perfect, has exactly what we wanted, oh, I just can't wait! Hehehehe. I just wish we'd known about the company we're gonna rent it from when we first moved out here. Things would've been a whole lot easier. The kids liked it too. I can't wait to get them out of this tiny apartment, and into a yard of their own! With their own rooms! It's gonna be great!!! And, it's only a five minute drive from my mom's house.

I just know you would've loved this house too, Lisa, if you had been there. And now that we've seen it, and are working on getting it, it's all I can think about. I know we'll get it, if we can just come up with the money really soon. The way it works out, we'll be renting it and the apt too, at the same time. So, we'd have the whole month of July to move our stuff out there. That's the good part. The bad part is we would have to get a loan to get the place, cause we don't have that kind of money laying around. Someday, I'd like a bank account that does have that much in it, for cases like this. Anyways, because of this house, and it being all I can think about, no profound insights, or feelings, or anything over here. I'm consumed with this "quest". Hehehehehe. So, I'll talk to you soon Lisa!