Tony's at the store A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell, the wife answers.
"Hi is Tony home?"
"No he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
"No come in."
They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second an figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one.
He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look.
Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know your weird friend Chris came over.
"Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"
Keep Scrolling There's More
Farmer And His Wife
The old farmer and his wife were sitting on their porch after celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary.
At long last the wife broke the silence with a question. "Have you ever been unfaithful to me?"
"Once, dear, just once," quavered the husband. "And what about you?"
"Just a minute." she said and disappeared into the house, returning with a shoebox containing 6 kernels of corn and $20,000 in cash.
Her husband looked at her and said, "What the hell does this mean?"
"Everytime I'm unfaithful to you" she explained, "I put a kernel of corn in the box."
"Well, what's the money for?"
His wife said: "Everytime I get a bushel, I sell it."
Keep Scrolling There's More
SEAL
A penguin is taking a road trip when his car suddenly
breaks down. Luckily for him, he finds himself just down the street from a mechanic. So, he pushes his car to the shop and asks the mechanic to take a look.
The mechanic tells him that it will probably take a little while to find the problem and asks him to come back in an hour.
The penguin goes over to the supermarket, buys some fish sticks and vanilla ice cream for lunch, and spends the rest of the hour hanging out in the frozen foods section.
After the hour is up, he waddles over to the mechanic's
shop.
Seeing him come in, the mechanic walks over, and wiping his hands on a rag, says, "Looks like you've blown a seal."
The penguin blushes, wipes his beak with his flipper and says, "No,it's just vanilla ice cream."
Keep Scrolling There's More
Happy 30th Anniversary
This couple had been married for 30 years, and on their
anniversary they decided to go back to the same hotel where they had spent their blissful wedding night.
Her husband was laying on the bed when she came out of the bathroom totally nude, just as she had 30 years before.
She stood seductively before him and asked, "Tell me, darling, what were you thinking 30 years ago when I came out of the bathroom like this?"
He replied, "I took one look at you and thought I'd like to screw your brains out and suck your boobs dry."
"And what are you thinking now, baby?" she asked huskily.
He said, "I'm thinking I did a pretty good job of it!"
