MOTIVATION AND INSPIRATION
Posted by: foxy9 - Apr 3, 1999
Twanna Holmes
Hi, my name is Twanna Holmes. I am 47 years young, and I have emphysema. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children. When I was 16 years old, I started smoking. I was soooo cool!
Well, hindsight is 20/20. Looking back I see how stupid I was. I don't worry so much about what I have done to myself, but what I have done to my family. Emphysema is not an individual thing; it affects your entire family.
Instead of telling the symptoms of emphysema, I would like to share with you some of the things emphysema has forced me to change. The first thing that I realized I could no longer do was go on our annual ski trip up to Monarch, Colo. I could not tolerate the altitude change. My kids really missed this, this happened when I was 41 years old.
We live in Texas, we have five lakes within 15 minutes of our home, every summer we would live on the lake with our boat skiing and having a great time. Guess what? About three years ago it got to where I could not tolerate the heat and humidity, so I can't go anymore.
Going to my daughter's sports events, was one of the loves of my life. This past year I did manage to go to her events, it was not an easy task. My hubby would drop me off at the gate or the door to the gym, then he would park the car. I couldn't get a good seat, for climbing stairs is very hard, so we would sit on the bottom bleacher and have to put up with everyone walking in front of us. Bummer!!
At her softball games I would watch from the car, we lungers can't be around the dirt and dust without getting really short of breath. But, she knew I was there. I darn near wore my horn out on my car.
My daughter graduated High School in May. They always have graduation at our football stadium. After they graduate, all the parents go down on the field to congratulate the class. It took me a very long time to make my way to the field. I would walk a little, then have to rest. But, it was one of those things I had decided I was going to do or die trying. I finally made it. When I found my daughter, she was crying. She thought I wasn't able to make it. We both hugged and cried for the longest time. It was a milestone.
The most recent change we have to make is leaving our home of 24 years. It's a beautiful place on the side of a hill in the beautiful hill country. Our home has 19 stairs to get from my car to the front door. I am a prisoner in my own home.
Stairs are one of the worse things for lungers. These are just a few of the things that I, at 16, didn't think about, or worry about. I was invincible and I could defy the warnings of cigarette smoking. Boy was I wrong!! It happened to me and it can happen to you. Be smart. You hold your future in your hands. If you have any questions, comments or would like to know more about changes in my life feel free to contact me at aholmes@tstar.net
Posted by: foxy9 - Apr 9, 1999
I'm not made of the right stuff.
Whoa, there! Yes, you *are* made of perfectly good stuff, I'm sure of that. Your stuff is fine, even if your stuff is smoking at the moment. :)
Honestly, I do know how bad it feels to think you can't stop smoking, that it's hopeless, that it's too hard, that you'll never make it. I've been there, a bunch of times, and figured my stuff wasn't right or something, probably just the way you were feeling when you posted your article.
But I was wrong; I was made of okay stuff, and eventually I became a non-smoker, like I wanted. (Yay!) Looking back on it all, I've only got one main regret, which I'll share with you -- I wish I hadn't waited so long between my starts at becoming a non-smoker. I wish I hadn't listened so long to all the negative stuff I told myself about how I couldn't succeed, like how I was just beating my head against the wall, how I would have to smoke the rest of my life. I wish I had gotten back on track to achieve what I wanted, sooner than I did. Okay?
So, my advice is to do what you need to do, and take the time necessary to deal with what's wrong in your life. But don't give up on yourself, all right? Know for certain that you're going to become a non-smoker, in the near future. Believe in yourself. When you're ready, assemble your forces and get back to the battle. It's not unusual for a person to need more than one start at becoming a non-smoker, or to need to find the right method. There's no shame in that. I mean, it's a darn shame when it happens, but it's nothing to feel ashamed about. :)
But right now, I think what you need most is just to realize that your stuff is okay. Okay? You've had a setback, so (later) you'll need to consider how you'll deal with the future differently to get what you want. But don't even listen to yourself questioning whether you're made of some inferior "stuff" and therefore hopeless. That's not true, and that sort of thinking won't help you. You're human, so sometimes you screw up. It's all part of the job. :)
posted on as3 by --Bob Christofferson quit 2+ years
Posted by: foxy9 - Apr 9, 1999
Think of licking a dirty ashtray when you would like a cig.
And....keep saying "smoking is NOT an option."
It does get better and some days are bad but those are getting fewer and fewer. Thank God!
Hang tough and keep fighting the good fight.
Be very, very careful though. The fact is that the longer you go, the more comfortable and more confident you get in your quit. The urges get less and less, but every now and then they'll creep up totally out of the blue. I've been getting the "Aw, c'mon, you can have just one" thoughts -- nothing seems to trigger them, they just pop up. That's usually followed by, "You've got it beat now ... you can handle it. See what one tastes like. You're in control now ... so just one won't hurt." It's almost like a kid trying to dare another kid to do something they know they aren't supposed to do! If I didn't know better, it would be very convincing!!!! Just keep reminding yourself that there's no such thing as just one. That the craving will pass, even if you don't smoke.
Yes, the nicotine is out of your system, but your mind is messing with you now. It's the voice of addiction ... don't listen to it!
*************************
I had countless quits fail just because of that bad thinking. The last time, I was quit for about 4 months and blew it.
JUST ONE WILL NOT ONLY HURT - IT WILL KILL!
Because no one can smoke just one.
Dave
By the Grace of God I have been smoke free since April 1st of LAST YEAR
*************************
Been there too. Blew it after one year quit due to the same type of thinking. "Just one" = Just one lifetime of being addicted again.
Mark
3 months 12 days 10 hours 2 minutes Quit for good!
If you have words of Inspiration and Motivation you would like placed here,
just drop an email to me, FoxyOne.
Back to Daily Encouragement
More Motivation and Inspiration
I found this background at:
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home Page