(background music(s) kindly provided by a fiesta at the latin american tent & a dance at the lesbian tent)
it's a official, i have a cold. so do half of the ngo participants at huairiou. because of the rain, the site for hillary clinton's speach was moved from the outdoor ampitheater to the smaller indoor forum where they are holding the plenary session. the few, the very early, and the tragically drenched got into see her--most where left standing in the rain. actually the folks i feel the most sorry for where the chinese workers who i saw after 12 midnight seeting up the miles of chairs--the rain was just starting--and bats were out & about scarfing up mosquitos.
the rain was quite heavy when i awoke, so i dressed up my barbie doll in a special "meeting hillary" outfit (complete with lavendar pumps), tucked her beneath my jacket, and set out through the rain to the moselm coffee hose for breakfast with our head tech. we then proceeded to the a interfaith religion workshop. i was initially wary: i had worked long & hard on interfaith projects with other women only to have men retain the power of spokesmanship, but i was lured the head tech's intent: to confront the panel on why they did not invite a devotee of the goddess.
as we arrived at the hotel, several utility-vehicles pulled up with military precision & all the occupents (men) got out together. us secret service? i don't know, i always imagine them wearing very somber suits, but these men were dressed quite casually--one had a scar running up from his open shirt collar to his jaw bone. a conference like this must be a security nightmare. i dived into the hotel. in my haste i missed hillary--our russian tech, who was a block behind us, saw hillary's limo pull up.
in a very nice conference room (look up! a pentagram light fixture) about 30 of us reformed a several rows of chairs (i thought of the chinese chair setter-uppers again) to hear people talk about a "spiritual united nations". women from the catholic, christian, hindu, & african-traditional (this participant is also a methodist) spoke mostly about quite, emptiness, contemplation, and Oneness. i was sitting in my chair thinking "that no one had talked about ANGER, when the moderator passed the microphone to me. i immediately passed to the head tech, who introduced herself as a priestess of the goddess and talked briefly her spiritual journey, how she & others discovered the godess within herself, and that the goddess is MANY. several people, chief among them men, followed afterwards: each man started off by saying: "i came to listen, learn, & had no intent of saying anything BUT..." one man said that women (should? must? is this our purpose?) hold open the empty space. ( yeah, as if we are heavenly vaginas awaiting the cosmic cock!) i followed and said that everyone had emphasized peace, stillness as a special feminine gift-- but what about HOLY RAGE? in america we have the saying, "that i'm mad as hell, & i'm not going to take it anymore"--from this place much gets done (unless collapse in upon ourselves--the patriarchal constraints are so intense) . secondly, women (and men) are complete unto themselves--this emphasis on the contemplative dispostion of women reflects a romanization of women & gender roles which contributes to instead of addresses duality & sexism. another young women furthered my ponts. one panelist responded that even in the middle of rage is the desire for peace. other shared: bahais & a muslim man who queyered the panel on the concept of emptiness--then with what we are to be filled? more comments followed, but i would say the bulk of the room was definitely coming from the contempaltive tradition ( i defected several years ago when i found my self in one too many women's groups taught by a male priest, plus several of my girlfriends really got caught up in spiritual elitism--but i used the the same complaints against activist when i was heavily involved in contemplative spiritually). in the end we were all asked to chantto the One & do a ritual dance--i had had it & left the circle, the tech followed.
as we walked to the computer room, a tide of umbrellas were coming out way--apparently hillary's speach had just been let out. i fully expected hillary to come to the business center for a press conference moderated by betty freidan (this is why barbie had come along), but hillary entourage had other plans. betty freidan went on--with microphones--there were absolutely no mikes to be found--perhaps they were all in the conference center. the only bit i snatched was that the real issues of the conference were not being addressed by the media. i then settled in for the afternoon in the press room signing people up for email accounts, greeting BEIJING95-Lers, & helping users.
one of the afternoon users was a woman who was the mother of one of the 14 women massacred by a misogynist, dec 6, quebec. she showed me pictures of her daughter (gorgeous) & a gift card which she had found from her daughter 2 yrs after the incident which said, "i love you, mom". she told me thhat she left the church when the women were given a state funeral presided over by 23 priests & not one of them referred to why & how the women died--i told her that i use to create interfaith calendars as a fundraiser for the aforementioned interfaith group, but was asked to remove the dec 6 martyrdom, roe v wade, and the 8 goddess festivals--i edited according to their specs, sent out the original to my friends, and then left the group. she said she copes by starting a foundation which address the causes of misogynistic violence & travels all through out canada giving workshops & she was giving one this evening at the ngo forum. by this time we were both fighting back our tears. trying to retain our composure, i asked her if she would be interested in posting to the apc conferences & BEIJING95-L the announcement & a bit about her foundation--she happily agreed & posted in both english & french. i hope she had a great workshop.
the above incident reminds me a bit of one of our most popular saints, st maria goretti, who is presented by the church about perferring death to the ignobility of loosing her virgintiy, & then appeared in prison to her muderer, saying that she forgave him. fortunately i had rather progressive nuns in grade school, and was spared this haigography until later. st maria goretti is now being reclaimed by catholic feminists , spurred by nuns who have gone into the field of sexual-abuse counselling & immediate aid to battered women. marie goretti was a 11-12 year old girl; her attacker was much older. in her culture if she had submitted to his advances, she could have been killed or ostracized by her family & no one would reproach her rapist nor her family (perhaps the would try to forget but the grief would have run deep for generations). this is the reality in which many women find themselves right this very second. catholic feminists and their sisters throughout the world are saying NO TO RAPE! NO TO DEATH! no more maria gorettis! no more montreal massacres! no more bosnias! and YES TO LIFE FOR WOMEN & THEIR DAUGHTERS and their menfolk as well!
blessings!
jennifer
