Dear Francesca,

Today I am a big crabby, crabby crab. The smallest things irritate me so much. I may be approaching a manic phase. But right now I don't care.

I have slept horribly for days. I wake up every hour or two, oddly enough around a quarter of the hour each time. I feel like I might as well just stay up tonight and do something since I won't sleep much anyway, but I know I won't.

My lack of sleep has caused me to be so exhausted this week. That's why I haven't written to you sooner, Franney. Each time I think about it, I think about how much effort it would take to dredge up a few words. Tonight I am exhausted, but that edge of irritability is giving me a slight edge of energy.

Now, what to say? My mood has actually been a bit better this week after I got over my feelings of inadequacy from this weekend. But strangely, I feel as if I could cry at the drop of a hat and so many hats have fallen this week. I hear a song on the radio that I have no emotional connections to and suddenly find myself tearing up.

In the waves of self-pity on Sunday, I neglected to tell you the other part of the emotions that arose from the weekend trip. I can and did go back to college for homecoming and not feel like I wanted to return. But when I went back to the city I lived in last, seeing familiar stores and restaurants and especially when I had lunch with my ex-boyfriend, I missed that town so much. I felt so settled there, and here I have not yet found my place.

This letter seems so disjointed as I reread it. Writing it has helped me calm down a bit, but I am getting distracted so easily. So I'll end here, and let you sort through these ill-fitting words.

Yours,
Hannah Iona