Dear Francesca,

Nighttime is when I burn the brightest. When I should be looking towards the lexicon of sleep in a couple of hours, I instead look to words, to thoughts that flow like a river unbound.

Perhaps that medicinally-induced zombie state I spoke to you about earlier was temporary. Perhaps I was just going through a bad time, because I don't feel as bad as I have. These past couple of days, I have at least felt OK, and sometimes I have even felt good. I somewhat worry that I am heading into a manic phase, but as long as the crash doesn't follow, I don't particularly mind. Is that too much to ask, to feel the peaks without the valleys? I want to feel good. I am tired of pain. I feel that I have had my share. I have to admit that I feel that I am "owed" a better life from here on out because I have been through so much in these 26 years. I know that is arrogant, because some people never or rarely escape pain their whole lives in some form. But I may as well be honest with you, Franney, the thought persists just the same.

Yours,
Hannah Iona