Reality: Although battering, like rape, is a highly under-reported crime, it is estimated that between 2 and 4 million (and some estimates say up to 6 million) American women are abused each year by their partner. Between 2,000 and 4,000 are killed.
Reality: Numerous studies on this issue indicate that women are victimized as much as 95-97% of the time. When women use violence, they overwhelmingly do so in self-defense (as evidenced by type and severity of injury). Also, if a man is victimized, he is much more likely to have sufficient resources to escape the situation (employment, money, and property). 20% to 50% of American wives have suffered violence regularly in their marriages.
Reality: Battering is found in all socioeconomic classes. An unusually high incidence is found among law enforcement officers, medical doctors and men in helping professions. Women in general, however, and even professional women, are vulnerable economically. Nationally, women still earn 75% of what men earn in performing the same job. This helps to explain the greater vulnerablility of battered women. 50% of all homeless women and children nationwide are fleeing domestic violence.
Reality: Women in rural areas are often more vulnerable to domestic violence, due to their relative isolation and reluctance to share their situation with acquaintances they may see on a daily basis.
Reality: The term "fight" connotes two (or more) individuals of roughly equal social standing disagreeing emphatically, perhaps using loud, harsh words, and even perhaps resorting to physical violence. Domestic violence, on the other hand, is caused by beliefs surrounding the use of power and control to gain compliance. It differs from a "fight" not only in degree, but also intention; the purpose of fighting is to communicate, to debate or to convince.
The purpose of battering is to intersperse terrorizing behaviors with threats in order to dominate and control another person's life. "We" may have turned out okay; however, children who have witnessed abuse or have been abused are 1,000 times more likely to abuse a spouse or child when they become adults then are children raised in a home without violence.
Reality: About 75% of women who go to shelters return to the abuse relationship, and, in fact, data indicate that battered women leave an average of 7 times before leaving finally. To "break up the family" is obviously a very complex, dangerous and possibly painful act. In addition, women who go to shelters, or speak with hotline counselors, find themselves supported and encouraged to make their own decisions. It would be contrary to the philosophy of these organizations to tell women what to do.
Reality: Nationwide, most incidents of domestic violence are not classified as felonies, no matter how severe. The most likely classification is simple assault, which is a misdemeaner in most jurisdictions.
Adapted from Domestic Violence: A Public Health Education and Resource Guide for Lincoln & Lancaster County, Nebraska, 1996.