A batterer may be found in any ethnic or age group, and among all socioeconomic and educational levels. 95% of batterers are males.

An abusive man typically believes in and benefits from society's sex-role stereotypes of men and women. He has a negative attitude toward women and very rigid expectations of what "his woman" is to be and to do. Although he may outwardly successful, he has a poor self-image and is insecure about his ability to fulfill the male stereotypical role.

He is emotionally dependent upon his partner - describing his relationship with his mate as the closest he has ever known. He is subject to secret depressions known only to his family. At the beginning of a relationship, he often exhibits overly solicitous, highly romantic behavior - bringing gifts, offering to help with mundane chores like doing the dishes, or writing poetry, for example. As the relationship develops, however, his need to dominate and control emerges. This side may emerge during the dating period or not until marriage, when, in his view, the woman becomes legally "his." He becomes jealous of the time she spends with others (real or imagined) and begins to isolate her from friends, family and acquaintances.

He blames others for his problems and may also exhibit dissatisfaction with his job, chronic or sporadic drug or alcohol usage and a preoccupation with weapons. He may blame his battering behavior on alcohol or drug usage but also frequently batters even when sober. He often escalates his violence when the woman becomes pregnant and may target the pregnant uterus.

He may attempt to justify this and other abusive behaviors by arguing that he "just looses control"; however, he is not indiscriminately violent, choosing to batter only his partner and perhaps his children (according to studies, 35-53% of the time). He, in fact, may become so focused on his abusive actions (as 20% of batterers do, according to one study of batterers) that his heart rate actually slows to 35-40 beats per minute.

Despite this, he may exhibit qualities which suggest to his partner great potential for change and improvement, apologizing after several abusive episodes or promising to seek counseling. This, coupled with his alternating between a "Dr. Jekyll" and a "Mr. Hyde" personality, may cause confusion for his partner, who is uncertain whether to invest more in the relationship or to explore leaving.

About 90% of men who batter deny having a problem.