My New Year's Resolutions

Now y'all know Auntie can't do anything
too serious about this issue...
just looking around for my sense of humor
to see if it still is in here!
*peekz inside lil cranium and decides
that parts of the sense of humor are still intact*

Before I get to the "real meat" of my resolutions,
I do have to say that in the coming year,
as in all years before and to come,
I want nothing more than peace in this old world.
Peace among families, friends,
enemies, warring nations of the world...
and that means an end to hate...
an end to all of the seven deadly sins...
an end to prejudice and intolerance of all kinds everywhere!
Whew, a tall order, eh?
It can begin with just one person...you...or me.
Just keep this in your heart
as you begin a new, crisp, clean century!
It would be such a shame to miss
this once in a lifetime opportunity!

Now...for me and my own personal resolutions
for the coming year...
oh, I have loads of them. *g*

I will dispose of the "thing" that lives in the kitchen.
I will not even mention its name...
it has lived there ever since it broke
and I will not dignify its presence there
by embarrassing myself
and telling everyone how lazy I have been
in moving it to its rightful place in the landfill.

I will lose one pound of weight.
*hysterical giggling*
See, I know I can keep this one.
If it doesn't come off as cellulite or ugly fat,
I can just take off my clothes
and run nekkie around the house before weighing myself...
who knows, maybe I will lose two pounds with all that running around
and double my benefits!

I will not let "these cats run all over me!",
as my best friend says I let them do.
I WILL let them sleep on me,
knead their paws in my thinning hair on my pillow,
tell me when they need food or other attention
(ie: inside or outside or make a fire in the fireplace, Mommy, for "BK"...
or make a lap/pet bed/place for my toy, for "Poppy" and "Velcro")...
but I will NOT let them "run all over me"!

I will totally re-do my website...
I will dutifully ignore the fact that it was a special gift to me
from some very special people
and just such a shock that I thought I would never recover from it.
I will use these lovely backgrounds and graphics as I please
and make it into my "home away from home"!
I will make the time in my everyday life to write stories and poems
and design lovely backgrounds of my own to use and...
hmmm...that hysterical laughter is welling up inside me
...better drop this resolution for a bit.

I will tackle these dust bunnies one bunny at a time
until they are gone forever!
Anybody need Easter gifts?

Speaking of dust bunnies....do they breed in cold climates?
I think some are breeding in my refrigerator...
the next resolution on this list.
I wonder just what I cooked
that is that peculiar color of greenish grey?
It's gonna go, do you hear me?
Gonna dig around in there
and when I am through,
that baby is gonna look like a whole new Whirlpool!

I am thinking seriously of giving up my "perks"
on the price change team at Target this year too...
are they really worth the hassle
of putting that remarkably cheap clearance tag on them?
Now this is one I will probably break,
but it is a nice thought to keep in mind.

I will NOT give up smoking.
(just thought I'd throw that one in because I think I can keep it)

I will spend more time with my hubby!
He thinks my first name is now Auntie.
(hmmm....should I have it legally changed?)
I will re-introduce myself to him as an elderly computer geek
and see if he still loves me.

And finally, because I needed at least ten resolutions on my list,
I will tell all of my internet friends (again)
what a wonderful difference they have made in my life...
what joy and new interests they have added...
what tenderness and caring and compassion and love they have shown to me...
and what love I have in my heart for all of them.

*looks at lil package of resolutions
and ties it up wif a big red bow*
There, now....I can keep that last one just fine!