Jackie Sue's homepage:BBW, married lady, adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse

Steel Magnolia seeks her WOO-mate!

Hello there!

The blessings I've found in my life are many. I was blessed with a family who loved me, although sometimes I had a difficult time believing that. I survived an older brother who, through his misguided rage made a hobby of trying to kill me. I learned how to protect my inner (and outer) child from a man who molested me repeatedly, and even found my way to forgive the man. I adopted a beautiful daughter named Chelsea who taught me what JOY is all about.

I thought I found true love, but it turned out that I married a genuine sociopath...the real McCoy, and he's currently serving 20 years in prison for rape of a child...my child. That which does not kill us brings us closer to God, and it did, but it also nearly killed me. I'm not able to write about it yet. The pain has been so great but the lessons were even greater. God had to carry me through that one. When I am healed enough to communicate the lessons to you I will do so. Until then, be assured that there were lessons and there are silver linings to the lessons. I am closer to God now than any time in my life. I have learned to take care of myself when I always put everyone and everything else before my needs. My darling daughter still comes first, but I now take some time for myself and I never did that before. I was a hard sell, you see. It took extraordinary events in my life for God to get my attention. Well, I can assure you that I am paying attention now.

MY faith is stronger than ever. Joy is slowly seeping into my life again. I have hope that there is still love awaiting me. Even with the way things turned out with my marriage, I know that I can have a successful relationship. I enjoyed being with someone. I loved feeling like I was "loved" even though it was all a facade. The Devil is beautiful they say. He was, in this instance. God is even more beautiful and I seek God in my next relationship. Who knows? I might have already found it!

Sometimes I am amazed at how much suffering the human spirit can endure. I've seen it, I've felt it, and most likely, I've been the cause of some of it. We all have our burdens to bear. Some burdens are heavier than others. Some of mine have been nearly unbearable...and I lived without hope for a time because of that.

I don't live without Hope anymore, and I never will again. Like the stars in the skies, Hope is always present...but sometimes it is difficult to see. It's there though.

This website is written with a purpose. It's on the web simply to help folks who feel all alone in the world to realize they aren't really alone. It's written to help the hopeless seek Hope once again. Happiness is a tangible object. I found it. You can too.

Embrace JOY! Covet it. Seek it in all you do.

This is my journey to happiness......