FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQs) ABOUT RAPE AND ABUSE

HOW DO I KNOW IF I HAVE BEEN RAPED?
Unless it is the stereotypical stranger in a dark alley, many survivors are not sure what to call the horror they have just experienced. The legal definition for rape traditionally refers to any forced penile penetration of a woman's vagina by a man who is not her spouse. More recent laws (although these differ from state to state, country to country) also take into account oral and anal rape, as well as acquaintance or date rape and marital rape. The wider charge of sexual assault refers to any unwanted sexual contact, including (but not restricted to) penetration with a body part or object. The rapist typically uses force or the threat of force or any kind of oppression, including emotional and/or spiritual blackmail, to make his/her victims have sex against their will. NB: It does not matter what you were wearing, how much you drank, what you said or did, what your relationship with the assailant is, or whether you put up a fight. Rape is a very serious crime and it is NEVER the survivor's fault. You are not to blame.

I'VE BEEN RAPED. WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?
Tell somebody. It's important that you break the silence and shatter the power your abuser has over you. If you are not comfortable speaking the words out loud - write it down in a journal. Tell another survivor - there are thousands of us on the Internet and in the outside world who are keen to help a fellow survivor. You can leave a message on this site and someone will get back to you; call a rape crisis hotline or centre in your area. Tell a close family member or friend who may be able to support you through this.
Medical: You should go to your nearest emergency centre or doctor and tell them you have been raped. If you are too scared to get a check-up, don't torture yourself. But remember, unless your assailant wore a condom, you may be at risk for pregnancy or an STD (sexually transmitted disease). If you have been seriously injured in any way, it is urgent that you seek medical attention.
Police: In some areas, hospitals are required to notify the police when they treat rape survivors or you might want to file a report. For more info on dealing with the police and the courts, visit: Sexual Assault Info Page

SHOULD I SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP?
Most victims of trauma benefit from short-term or long-term counselling. You will have many issues to work through, possibly including PTSD and it's helpful to consult a professional. You can be referred by your doctor or through a crisis centre. Make sure the therapist belongs to a certified body and is experienced in treating rape survivors. Professional treatment is not cheap, but some charge on a sliding scale, and you may receive victim compensation through the courts to cover your treatment.

WHY CAN'T I 'JUST GET OVER IT'?
Few events are as traumatic as rape. It is a life-threatening crime that can be more harrowing than the death of a loved one/severe accident/illness. You need time and space to recover. You may find friends and family impatient, wishing you could 'snap out of it', but healing is an individual process. Rape survivors typically report feeling like they 'died' during the attack, so you need to mourn what you lost and come to terms with who you are now. But keep the faith - you can make it through this.                            
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