Arriving at the diner about five minutes early Willie paused briefly outside. Then taking a deep breath to screw up his courage, he pushed open the door and went inside.
He spotted her almost at once, sitting at a table in a corner by the window. She was truly a work of art. Sensuous shiny hair cascaded down over her shoulders. And her large soulful eyes were perfectly framed by long luxuriant lashes. She had a cute turned up nose and soft pouty lips that were just begging to be kissed. Actually, Ursala wasn't that bad looking either.
Maggie waved him over and made the introductions. After which Willie presented each of the ladies with one of his recently pilfered roses, getting his first real look at his mystery lady.
Willie's date for the evening had stylishly short blonde hair and chocolate colored eyes. But she was also looking a bit green around the gills. And as she accepted the rose, she flinched in pain and held her stomach.
"Maggie are you sure she 's feelin' up to this?" He asked doubtfully.
Ursala forced herself to smile and replied apologetically, "Sorry, I'm just feeling a little crampy today."
Geez, I REALLY didn't need to know that! Willie told himself as he was seated.
Maggie was not about to let all her hard work go to waste on account of a little menstrual flow. So after a short excavation in her purse she pulled out the solution. "Here, have a couple Pamprin and you 'll feel like a new woman in no time".
Ursala downed the pills. Then picked up her rose to inhale a bit of its delicate fragrance while she checked Willie out. But as she gazed into his eyes across the table, a huge green spider crawled out from in between the petals and tickled her nose with its long reaching legs.
"Ahhh!" She screamed, flinging the rose across the room in her fright.
Maggie shot Willie a dirty look. She suspected that the roses were actually stolen property.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare ya", he blurted out, feeling a bit distressed under Maggie's disapproving glare.
Ursala, now a lot calmer since the spider's unscheduled flight took pity on him. "It was a lovely gesture Willie".
Maggie decided that this would be a good time to make her exit beforeanything else could go wrong. So she waved the waitress over to take their orders. "Well, I've got to get going." "David and Amy are waiting for me". Pointing out the specials on the menu she offered, "By the way I highly recommend the steak dinner".
Then she flung her purse over her shoulder beating a hasty retreat to the door, leaving her floral token of Willie's affection behind on the table.
They both took Maggie's suggestion and ordered the steak. But after the waitress left there was an awkward silence. Ursala played with her fork and Willie nervously rubbed his hands over his thighs trying to think of something to break the silence.
Finally he said, "Hey your family wouldn't be the same Braithwaithes that own the sliver shop in town, would they?" He was so relieved at finding something to say, that he didn't notice the tears beginning to well up in her eyes as she nodded her answer.
"Your family 's got a great little shop there, so many beautiful rings and...........
Then the dam burst, "My Grandpa loved that shop", she sobbed. "And now,he's d-d-dead".
"Gee I'm sorry, I didn't know". Willie offered her his hankie thinking,Maggie 's gonna kill me for this I'm sure. He had forgotten all about what Barnabas had told him about the old man croaking over at Collinwood.
But Ursala was too much into her crying jag to respond. Wailing tearfully she ran her hands over her face trying to wipe away the tears, dislodging one of her false eyelashes in the process. The effect was frightening with her mascara running awry and the rebel lash dangling madly, resembling a fuzzy caterpillar trying to crawl up her face.
Then all of a sudden she just stopped and lifted her head up, like a deer sensing danger in the forest. Then she began to sniff the air, her troubles now forgotten as the steak arrived at their table.
Ursala immediately set about carving up her meat and took a bit. "Um!" She purred.
"You must really like steak", he observed.
"Yes, I love it", she declared sawing away at her sirloin.
At first he thought it was kind of cute and was happy that she was enjoying herself so much. With each bite she would close her eyes as if she was tasting the most wonderful thing in the world, and each "Um!" sound she uttered would grow progressively louder. Then she called the waitress over and ordered another steak.
Willie wondered how she could eat so much and maintain her girlish figure. The steak came and she immediately dove in. Now the pace became more frantic, as her expressions of pleasure grew louder and more frequent. Willie thought, This is gettin' embarassin', and he began to wonder if Ursala had been using drugs. If so this was the worst case of the munchies he 'd ever witnessed.
Halfway through the second steak she grabbed the passing waitress' arm, and with her mouth still full of half chewed food, juice dripping down from her face, she demanded, "Another and make it bloody!" Faster and faster she devoured the meat and her groans of pleasure were starting to attract the attention of the other diners. Not knowing what else to do, Willie smiled anxiously back at them. It was like watching "Wild Kingdom" in the middle of some animal's feeding frenzy. Perhaps she had a tapeworm, he thought.
When the waitress arrived with the third steak Ursala literally ripped it out of her hands and directly proceeded to attack the bloody cow flesh.
Willie was too stunned to eat much of his own meal. He just couldn't believe what he was seeing. But Ursala took care of that. As soon as she finished the third steak, she helped herself to his. Now Willie seriously began to wonder if any of the female inmates at Wyndcliff had turned up missing lately, as she was practically screaming "UMMMM!" while ravenously wolfing down HIS former dinner.
Finally after gnawing on all the bones one last time, her hunger seemed to be sated. She leaned back in her chair and let out a sigh of satisfaction. Followed soon after by what must have been the loudest and longest belch ever heard in the history of the world.
"I feel much better now", Ursala proclaimed. Then noticing how everyone was staring, she declared, "I feel like dancing, let 's take this party to the Blue Whale". She didn't give him a chance to answer, but got up and bounced towards the door.
After paying for the four steaks Willie's wallet was getting mighty thin. But he didn't want to disappoint Maggie, so he followed his gluttonous date outside into the night.
