Silhouetted by the full moon the trees looked particularly eerie as he turned off main street. Ursala had been rather quiet since they left the parking lot, but he could now feel her snuggling up against him.
By the time they reached Sychar Road he began to feel a warm wet sensation against the back of his ear. Normally this would have been a pleasurable feeling, but this time the hairs on the back of Willie's neck were standing on end. He got the distinct impression that he was being taste tested before the main course and just couldn't shake the feeling.
Then the smell began. Ursala not only had a severe case of halitosis, but the fetid odor was frighteningly reminiscent of doggie breath. About the same time he began to feel a hand on his knee moving slowly towards his more vital areas. He reached down to remove the trespassing extremity, only to discover that it felt like it was covered in animal fur.
A cold chilling fear took hold of Willie as he stomped on the gas and sped on through the night. Mercifully Ursala didn't live too much farther away. And in the wink of an eye, half the neighborhood could hear the shrill sound of his brakes as they came to a screeching halt in front of Ursala's humble abode.
In a friend's house across the street Carolyn heard the squealing brakes and went to the window to see what was going on. It was no coincidence that she had positioned herself there, for she was Maggie's spy. Carolyn was already getting ticked at Willie for dropping off his date in such a rude manner, so she waited until he was alone, so that she could give him a piece of her mind.
Meanwhile, Willie opened the door to the truck to let Ursala out and was shocked to discover that her eyes now glowed like a cat's in the dark. She leapt from the truck's seat and barked, "Home sweet home". Then she grabbed Willie's arm and started pulling him towards the house, "Come on!"
But Willie did not want to get trapped inside that house with a girl who was beginning to look like she'd just migrated from "The Planet Of The Apes". "Barnabas will be expecting me at home to set up and light the candles. He 'll get really upset if I'm late," he explained with a slight tremble in his voice.
But at her front door Ursala was beginning to feel frisky again. Quick like lightening, she wrapped her woolly limbs around his neck, her eyes glowing with desire. "Come inside with me and baby, I'll let you light my fire", she purred.
Willie knew he was really in trouble now. He wanted to run but he was frozen in fear. Closer and closer came the hairy horror, fangs protruding from her open growling maw which emitted an aroma so rank he almost passed out from its foul stench.
Thinking fast Willie reached in his pocket and pulled out a small bottle of breath spray, "Binaca?" , he inquired in hopes of buying a little time.
But Ursala just batted it right out of his hands. She wanted to get right down to business. She grabbed him and pulled him close, and just when Willie thought he was doomed to a fate worse than death.........Her telephone began to ring.
"Ahhhhhoooooo!" Ursala howled and covered her ears in pain. That obnoxious high pitched noise was driving her crazy. Forgetting all about her reluctant man cub, her mind became focused on the sole purpose of destroying the source of the noise. Ripping the front door right off its hinges and flinging it across the lawn, she entered the house and proceeded to trash the place.
Seeing an opportunity to finally escape this nightmare, Willie took it and hightailed it to the truck. He had just opened the door when someone placed a hand on his shoulder, practically giving him heart failure.
"Willie Loomis you really are some piece of work", spat an angry Carolyn. "How dare you treat that sweet girl this way!", she scolded him while wagging an accusing finger at him.
"Carolyn get in the truck, you don't understand, just get in the truck", he pleaded. Then without waiting for a response he took hold of her arm and made her follow him to the passenger's side of the vehicle.
"I don't take orders from you Willie Loomis. Don't you have any manners at all?" Carolyn complained as she wrenched free from his grip. "I wouldn't blame that girl if she never wanted to go out with you again, you're downright dangerous!"
The situation called for drastic measures, who knows how long he'd have before Ursala came after them. So he picked Carolyn up and stashed her in the truck, quickly running around to the other side to get in before she tried to get out.
As soon as he got in she tried to open the door and leave. He yanked her right back saying, "Hey, ya think I'm dangerous you should she that girl, she's downright unnatural. She is inside her house right now tearing up the place and if we don't get out of here soon, we're next!"
He turned the ignition key, but it wouldn't start.
While he kept trying to get the truck to start, Carolyn crossed her arms in defiance and turned her head away from him saying, "I think you must be the most cold hearted man that ever.....
Then she noticed the door was lying in the middle of the lawn. And looking into the Darkened house she could see two glowing eyes moving around. "Hurry Willie let's get out of here" she cried.
Finally the engine turned over and Willie peeled rubber out of there like a bat out of Hell.
***
"First Blood"
Bertha Braithwaithe was a liberated woman. She was just coming home from one of her famous woman's group meetings that her family so soundly disapproved of. They would have really gotten their knickers in a knot if they could have seen her this evening, she thought with a smile. Ticking off her family was Bertha's favorite pastime.
Tonight in an effort to break free from the restraints of this male dominated society,and after plying themselves with an ample supply of liquor for courage, they all whipped off their bras and burned them in the parking lot of the recreation center. They had hoped to attract the attention of the media to their cause, but since no one was interested they roasted hot dogs and marshmallows instead.
Now that the fun was over Bertha was discovering just how uncomfortable going braless could be, especially for a full figured gal with more bounce to the ounce. So she walked home with her arms crossed tightly across her chest. It was not easy to be a modern woman.
She was a little too tipsy to be concerned with the missing front door. When she located it on the lawn she just giggled to herself and went inside.
The sound of a feral growl sobered her up right away, but it was too late. Ursala the werewolf had already liberated her from life.
***
Ursala awoke in a field near the woods, wondering how in the heck she had ended up there. Every muscle screamed in pain and she had a splitting headache. Her clothes were ripped and bloodied in such a way that she had begun to think that maybe Willie had attacked her. How could she have misjudged
him so. He had seemed like such a kind and gentle man.
Then she made a grisly discovery which set her to screaming. She had been lying on a half eaten arm. However the hand was still intact enough to identify the ring on its finger as belonging to her sister. Screaming in terror she ran like she was being chased by the devil himself. But it wasn't fast or far enough to escape her own memory.
***
Jeremiah Pancake was traveling salesman. He was headed off to Bangor when he spotted Ursala wandering along the road. He stopped his car and offered her a ride. Ursala was still in shock and said nothing. He thought for sure this poor girl had been attacked by a real maniac and the good samaritan in him kicked in. He was a decent man so he gave her his jacket and offered to buy her dinner when they got to Bangor. Later that evening Ursala had a Pancake dinner.
***
Carolyn later tried to explain what happened that night to Maggie, but she never quite thought that Maggie believed her. Neither Carolyn, Maggie or Willie ever brought up the subject again. And Ursala herself seemed to have mysteriously disappeared never to be seen again.
So the next time a friend wants to set you up on a blind date, take Willie's advise and run like hell!
