Checking out the Brother's Islam
I have read the book and concur with it whole heartedly
2. Make sure the brother believes and understands in the five pillars and the six articles of faith?
I beleive in and understand the five pillars of faith and the six beliefs
Shahadatain, Salat, Sawm, Hajj, Zakat, and the belief in Tauheed, His Angels, His Books, His Prophets, The Day of Judgement, and Qadar.
3. When the brother comes to meet with you check to see if he is correctly Islamicly dressed and that his beard is growing.
I can't grow a very nice beard. Furthermore my employment does not permit it. I am in the US Coast Guard and it is a military debate but I believe that if more Muslim brothers in the military said something then something would have to be done.
4.If he is a follower of any groups that have deviant practices or if he is following a group whose practices put them OUT of Islam you may rethink marrying him. Some of these groups are Nation of Islam, Shia, Ahmadiayah, Rashad Khalifa followers, Qadianis, 5% Nation, 12ers , and other unnamed groups. 12ers and other unnamed groups that are well known among the believers to have problems with their aqeedah
I am not an affiliate of any of these groups. I am just a regular Muslim.
5. Ask him if he understands blind following of the Madhhabs
(See Blind Following of Madhhabs by Shaykh Muhammad Sultan al-Ma'soomee al Khajnadee)
I don't adhere to any Madhhab. Mostly because of my ignorance of them and the fitna that I witness from the brothers who do follow Madhhabs. Right now I look to the Sunnah of the Prophet (saaw), my Quloob, and search for the strongest Daleel.
6. Some "scholars" have a modernistic slant, ask him which scholars he regularly refers to for Islamic materials and /or answers.
I just search myself for the best answers and ask those near to me of the community where I may be of their knowledge then I put my trust in Allah and go forth. I do turn away from anyone with "modernistic" views about Islam. If it seems a far stretch from the Sunnah then I really question it.
7. Has he pledged bayah to any one? If he has, this is a misunderstood practice, and you many need to talk to him about it. See Huda Magazine.
I have not pledged Baya to anyone. The only person that I will give Bayah to is the Khalifah. When we as Muslims get off of our butts and get one.
8. Do you try to lower your gaze when looking at other women? Do you needlessly chat with women?
I am getting back into the habit of lowering my gaze at women. I had it down when I was married but then it was easy. So now my Deen is coming back to me. I do however talk with women when necesary.
9. Will he expect his wife to be in the company of non-maharim men in your home or while visiting others, including his brothers?
NO I do not expect nor want her to extend herself past anything that is necessary.
10. Do you pray all the prayers on time, all 5, and the Sunnah prayers?
I pray all 5 prayers a day the best I can. most are prayed on time. When extreme circumstances confront me I am late on prayers but I will never sleep through the night with out praying all of my prayers. I'm building back up on my Sunnah practice I used to have it down so now I am getting it back.
11. Do you fast all of Ramadan?
YES!
12. Do you engage in voluntary fasting?
Yes
13. Do you read Quran everyday or the translation of the meanings?
I read Quran as often as I can I suppose I am an average to above average reader of Quran depending on where in this Dunya you live. Currently I expect to read the Quran at least 3 to 4 times a year. Once in English then in Arabic then English then in Arabic. This year I think that I will only make two One English then Arabic for Ramadhan.
14. Do you remember to say your duas at certain times, like before eating, after eating, at time of sleep, when traveling, etc.?
I try my best to say as many as I can.
15. Do you refrain from backbiting and slander?
As best as I consciencely can.
16. Do you refrain from idle talk?
As best as I consciencely can.
17. Are you careful to check your grocery products for haraam ingredients?
Yes
18. Are you able to divide your time reasonably between work and Islamic activities and your family?
Insha Allah. I am not a workaholic if that is what you think and I suppose that I spend an average amount of time at the Masjid.
19. Have you performed Hajj and/or Umrah?
Not yet.
20.Many scholars consider Music and photography (still and moving pictures, 1,2 and 3 D included) Islamicly unacceptable. Ask him if he partakes in these activities. Bukari# 7.110 Narrated by 'Aisha: " I bought a cushion having on it pictures (of animals). When Allah's Apostle saw it, he stood at the door and did not enter. I noticed the sign of disapproval on his face and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I repent to Allah and His Apostle. What sin have I committed?' Allah's Apostle said. "What is this cushion?" I said, "I have bought it for you so that you may sit on it and recline on it." Allah's Apostle said, "The makers of these pictures will be punished on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said to them, 'Give life to what you have created (i.e., these pictures).' " The Prophet added, "The Angels of (Mercy) do not enter a house in which there are pictures (of animate objects)."Bukari 7.494B Narrated by Abu 'Amir he heard the Prophet saying, "From among my followers there will be some people who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, the wearing of silk, the drinking of alcoholic drinks and the use of musical instruments, as lawful. And there will be some people who will stay near the side of a mountain and in the evening their shepherd will come to them with their sheep and ask them for something, but they will say to him, 'Return to us tomorrow.' Allah will destroy them during the night and will let the mountain fall on them, and He will transform the rest of them into monkeys and pigs and they will remain so till the Day of Resurrection." Hudda Magazine has done articles on photography and music in past issues.
This is probably the biggest question on here. So here I would probably have to be the most honest. I still listen to popular music, but not in excess and usually on whim. I mostly listen to talk radio. I do not have pictures on my walls at home just calligraphy. All of the pictures I take of my kids are on my computer so that I may send them to Grandparents and make photo albums. That is the extend of these weaknesses.
21. If your wife's parent(s) were to die, would you consider allowing her orphaned family to live with you?
If I could Islamically support them all and make the rest of my obligations. Insha Allah there would be a way to work it out, there usually is.
22. Do you subscribe to any Islamic publications?
www.MMM.net, www.iio.org. Daily Ayat service.
23. What is your understanding about the wife's position in Islam and her responsibilities toward the husband and what is your understanding of how a wife should obey her husband?
The Quran states in Surah An-Nisa 4.34 "The righteous woman are devoutly obedient, and guardian in (the husband's) absence what God would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first),(next) beat the (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): For God is Most High, great (above you all). Blind following of the husband is not acceptable when it goes against Allah's rules. Aisha and Asma narrated in Sahih Al-Bukari 7.133 & 7.818 respectively "An Ansari woman gave her daughter in marriage and the hair of the latter started falling out. The Ansar woman came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam and mentioned that to him and said "her (my daughter's) husband suggested that I should let her wear false hair." (because of her hair loss her husband does not like her) The Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam said, "No, (don't do that) for Allah sends His curses upon such ladies who lengthen their hair artificially." Some scholars have stated that when a women obeys her husband instead of Allah Allah (subhana wa tala) and His Messenger sallallahu alayhe wa sallam she is committing a form of Shirk.
In an article which appeared in the Contemporary Jurisprudence Research Journal 27th Education 7th year from Saudi Arabia, Oct.Nov. Dec. 1995 they wrote the following concerning a woman's rights to her property, "A husband is not allowed to hold up his wife's property and his hold will be regarded as an extortion and a violence to the property of his wife and this is prohibited unanimously, and if he oversteps her he actually over steps the right allotted by Allah" p.69
In a book called Islam: A way of Life and A Movement Brother Jamal Zarabozo wrote a number of points, and they are as follows "Some husbands get upset when their wives refuse to do this or that around the house. This has subjected many wives to physical mistreatment. But the following incident from a book of Fiqh clearly shows that is not the duty of the wife to tend after the house; and therefore, it can in no way justify any sort of retort on the part of the husband. In fact, the following quote (from Muhammad Abdul Rauf's book) would make it seem that many women nowadays should be the ones complaining as they are forced to do work that they are not responsible for" The following passage is from Marriage in Islam: A Manual p. 48 by Abdul-Rauf . It is reported that a man once came to 'Umar, the second Caliph, with the intention of bringing to his notice certain complaints he had against his wife. When he reached the door of Umar's house, he heard the Caliph's wife railing against him. Hearing this, he went back as he thought that the Caliph himself was in the same predicament and could, therefore, be hardly expected to set matters right for him. "Umar, coming out of his house, saw the person going back. So he called him out and inquired as to the purpose which had brought him to his house. He said that he had come to him with some complaints against his wife, but turned back on finding that the Caliph himself was subject to the same treatment from his wife. "Umar said to him that he patiently bore the excesses of his wife because she had certain rights over him. "Is is not true that she cooks my food, washes my clothes and suckles my children, thus reliving me of the necessity of employing a cook, a washerman and a nurse although she is not in the slighted degree responsible for this? Not only that, I enjoy peace of mind on account of her and I am protected from committing the sin of adultery. In view of these advantages, I put up with her excesses. You should also do the same."
Zarabozo then adds "Thus we see that the husband is not only responsible for the maintenance of the wife, but is also responsible for the cooking and the cleaning, and general maintenance of the house by either hiring a servant, doing the work himself or by being lucky enough to have a wife who is willing to do it out of her own free will. If the wife refuses to help out in these areas, she is not to be hold responsible and cannot be reprimanded. In summary there is the following Hadeeth from the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam the rights of a wife. Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri narrates in Abu Dawud #2137 Mu'awiyah asked: Apostle of Allah, what is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied: That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house". "Another point that should be taken into consideration is education. Finally Zarabozo writes "In conclusion, we feel that the wife has certain duties and responsibilities and in these duties she must completely obey her husband. These are in the matters of sex, staying within the house, and not allowing people into her home her husband does not like. We have seen that she can only be beaten in the case of nushuz, which refers to the aspect in which she must be completely obedient to her husband, and that too only after she has been admonished and she has been separated from the husbands bed. A great scholar, such as Imam Shafi has practically prohibited beating. Furthermore, we have seen that she is not responsible for taking care of the house or even of her own self and needs. In fact, Imam Shaibani has said that even a poor man is responsible for getting a servant for his wife or taking care of her affairs himself. Also education is incumbent upon Muslim women and it seems to fall within the responsibilities of the husband to make sure that she is educated properly. Thus, we see that the position of the Muslims is a far cry from the existing situation among many of the Muslim people of today. This should be of no surprise as the Muslim have strayed very far from the Islam in almost every aspect of their lives!"
I concur with the above mentioned if it is all sound. At the very least we will share in all things except that which Allah has protected of her property and herself.
24. Do you play with magic (i.e. wegee boards), jinns, listen to astrologers or reading your horoscope? If so this is haraam.
I do not partake in black magic such as the above mentioned. However I do perform professionally at childrens events and do tricks for their entertainment.
25. Do you practice or participate in any of the following Islamicly incorrect things such as celebrating the Prophet sallallahu alayhe wa sallam birthday, participating or congratulating the kufar on their holiday, etc.?
My entertainment business causes me to entertain at many birthdays. So I suppose that I am guilty in this. My ex-wife has cemented the birthday tradition in my children. I do not celebrate my own birthday.
26.Will you be able to take your wife on Umrah and hajj?
If I have the resources she is free to go with me or to go alone.
27. How much time do you spend studying Islam, not counting the Khutbah at Jumah prayer?
Not as much as I would like to.~~ That was a few months ago and I am studying more than I was but my faith I know will only truly come back until I make the Quran reading a stable practice.
28. Do you attend Jumah prayer? Do you, at least pray Fajr and Isha prayers in the mosque? If not why? If it is because of distance would you seriously consider moving closer to the mosque? If it is for some other reason, could changes be made to enable you to do so?
I always attend Jumah prayer except when prohibited by my job (Military duty). I pray Fajr and Isha prayers in the mosque on occasion. I would like to pray more often in the Masjid.
29. Do you always get up for Salatul Fajr? Do you pray other prayers other than Jumah at the mosque?
I always pray Salatul fajr. My wife Must Must Must pray Salatul Fajr without asking. I pray as many prayers at the Masjid as I can.
30.Do you engage in thiker on a regular basis.
Yes.
31.Do you intend to live by the Quran and Sunnah the way the Salaf did without modernistic interpretation?
As best as I consciencely can.
32. How are going to handle matters that have different Islamic conclusions? (i.e. moving the finger during tashahud) Would you make the effort to find out if the particular matter had a culture only basis, bidah basis, inauthentic information by way of misinterpretation of Quran or inauthentic hadeeth)
I would research the best I can pray and follow my Daleel and my Quloob.
33. If you have any cultural practices which interfere with Islam, are you willing to give them up. (i.e. mixing between the sexes, improper Islamic attire etc.?)
As best as I practically can.
34. Are you actively participating in da'wah, if not will you start?
Yes.
35. How many surahs have you memorized?
9.
36. What method do you use to find out if a particular matter is halaal or haraam etc. (i.e. consult Shaikh, knowledgeable individual, come to your conclusion.)
Research books on the subject unless I have a knowledgeable person around me.
37. Do you expect your wife to serve male guests in the home?
NO.
38. Where do you purchase your meats? Although there is a difference of opinion among the scholars concerning eating the meat in American the view which clears one of delving into doubtful matters is to purchase meat from stores that offer halaal meat in light of a few points. An in-depth study can be done by reading Al-Dhabh; Slaying Animals the Islamic Way by Ghuylam Mustafa Khan. #1 News specials have been done,concerning that fact that some grocers add 5% pork to their ground beef mixtures regardless of what the meat packing says. #2 Islamicly we are not allowed to eat dead meat. Some Muslims have visited slaughterhouses in which they witnessed dead meat (meat which was shot , and died before cutting the throat of the animal in the Islamic manner) being prepared for sale. The USDA allows animals which are to be sold to the public to be shot, given a violent blow to the head, or electrocuted and left for dead before the animals throat is cut. #3 The Interpretation of the Meanings of The Noble Qur'an of At-Tabari, Al-Qurtubi and Ibn Kathir says (Surah Al-An'am :121" Eat not (O Believers of that (meat) on which Allah's Name has not been pronounced (at the time of the slaughtering of the animals), for it is Fisq (a sin and disobedience of Allah). And certainly the devils do inspire their friends (from mankind) to dispute with you, and if you obey them [by making Al-Maytat (a dead animal) legal by eating it], then you would indeed be Mushrikun (polytheists): [because they (devils and their friends )make lawful to you to eat what Allah has made unlawful to eat and you obey them by considering it lawful to eat, and by doing so you worship them, and to worship other besides Allah is polytheism]." Although the Quran states that we may eat meat from the People of the Book, today's Christians are not slaughtering as a religious practice therefore it is void of its religious requirements. And lastly, contrary to popular belief, it is not sufficient to just say Bismillah before eating the meat. Saying this does not make the meat halaal no more than saying it over pork would make pork halaal.Do you own investigation, by talking with the people of knowledge to come to the conclusion that clears you of wrong doing, as the points stated above are not always the case everywhere. Naturally there are scholars who hold the opinion that the meat in America is halaal, And Allah knows best in these matters.
I just buy my meat and pray that Allah has blessed it, but I should buy halaal. Insha Allah one day that will be all that I will eat.