Someone once broke down for me, all the hours, minutes and seconds in a day, week, month, and year.  I had to get out my calculator and do it again... the results are astounding if you think about it!  We all have this virtually untapped gold mine at our disposal to use, give away or waste, as we choose, every day!

Next time some ones asks you if you have a second, what are you going to tell them??  The point is, you have as much, or as little time to accomplish your goals as you choose to have.  Part of the "secret of success", then, is managing your time.  You can do this most effectively if you have your goals in mind.  Begin with the end in mind, or, as the ancient Chinese saying goes, "live as one already dead".  Sounds a bit gruesome, huh?   Not if you really think about it.  Live your live with an awareness of what you wish to leave behind as a legacy.  To your family, to your friends, to the world.   What do you want your life to say about you? 

Don't live your life by accident!  Your life is a precious thing!  You have been given this one chance to live this life, to learn the lessons from this set of experiences, to give the gift of your love and your skills to others, and to leave something to the world.  What shall you do with this precious life?  If you wander through your days, making no plans for the future, no "choices" - well, that is still a choice, a choice to be lazy, to be sure, but a choice, nevertheless.  It is possible to accidentally succeed.  Many have done it, I suppose.  But even the guy who won the lottery bought a ticket, and the inventor who suddenly comes up with some amazing innovation, "out of nowhere", had thousands of attempts before that success, and the newest popular movie star, the "overnight success", had years of training and performances before the media ever heard of him.  Nothing comes out of nowhere. 

Our lives are a culmination of the choices we have made, up until today.  Including your choice to read this far in this essay!  I've said it before, and I will doubtless say it again, you are where you are right now, in your life, because you have made the choice to be there!  If you are not happy with where you are, you need to start changing the choices you are making!  I once heard Zig Ziglar say that his definition of insanity was some one who plans on spending the next 5 years making the same choices as he's made for the last 5 years, and expects to see changes in his life!  You want changes?  Make different choices!

The 10 Steps to Success

1. Build Self-Esteem - We can't get anywhere in this life without a good solid sense of self-esteem.  But "self-esteem" has got to be one of the most abused phrases of the 20th century!  Self-esteem is not arrogance, it is not just "feeling good" about yourself!  Self-esteem is simply an awareness of your gifts, your strengths, your skills, your aptitudes, your interests, and your positive attitude.  It's the value you place on yourself!

People with low self-esteem, who have poor images of themselves, rarely achieve their goals.  They rarely even set goals!   Often they are very negative, tend to blame circumstances, or other people for their failures, their mistakes. They rarely think they are good at much, often, they find that they have simply given up, and are "settling for" whatever life hands them.   Not all of us are superstars - we're not the lead vocalists, the quarterbacks, the prima ballerinas.  Reality is that with all the millions of people on this planet, everyone has different strengths and skills.  To invite a sense of failure onto one's self by measuring ourselves by the standard of others is foolish.   What we all need to learn to do is to realize the unique gifts and skills that each of us has within us and use them to their fullest.  Each of us is the best at something.

Of course, you must deserve it, this wonderful sense of self-esteem, as you must deserve a great victory, or anything else of great value. It must be earned, and cannot be given, cannot be taken. You must make an effort, you must establish a discipline, for the tasks you set yourself each day.  Determine your "work ethic".  As you do this, you will automatically become aware of your strengths, and skills.  It is this awareness that allows you to feel good about yourself.  There is nothing better than the feeling you get when the realization washes over you that you have attempted something that you felt was difficult, taken control of the situation, and accomplished what you set out to do!  It doesn't matter if it's a small thing like, oh, breaking the bad habit of kicking your shoes off and leaving them under the coffee table all the time, or if it's a bigger thing, like learning how to build your own web pages, or stick to a diet and exercise program, or a huge thing, like breaking a drug or alcohol habit.  All these things, and the steps to achieving these things, all build your confidence, and will all add to your sense of self-esteem.  And the best news is:  there is no time limit on this, no age limit.  You can't be too young, or too  old!  It is also never too late!  As long as you're breathing, as my grandpa used to say, you still have a chance!  The option is always there! 

What do you Dream about?  The house you will one day have?  The sports car you'd like to drive, or the places you'd like to travel in the world? To be able to give lavishly to your church, or favorite charity? To have enough money to buy your girlfriend a diamond, or your child a college education, without the student loans,or pay off mom and dad's mortgage, so they don't have to worry about it any more?  Dream big!  The bigger you dream, the more energy you will put into achieving those dreams, the more excitement you will build as achieving those goals brings you closer to your Dream!  Always keep your vision of a better future in front of you.  Cut out pictures from magazines, go visit model homes, car lots, boat dealers, motorcycle shops, travel agencies, jewelry stores.  Visit the places and look at the things that remind you of your Dream, to keep the vision of it alive and in front of you!

You won't hit every goal you set, or every deadline you make.   But, don't let that stop you!! Just hit that "re-set button" on the side of your head, and keep going.  You will definitely fail if you give up, but if you keep on going, you will succeed in the end!  And never, never "try" anything.  Do your best.  Do your very best.  There is a huge, huge difference between "trying" and "doing your best", trying is what the guy who failed said he did.  Doing my best, is what a winner says.

As you work towards your Dream, setting and writing down your goals, attaining these goals will change your behavior.  You will become even more positive, more energized, more focused, and it is that change in your behavior that will ultimately lead to the achievement of your Dreams.

There will always be someone right there to tell you that you can't do whatever it is you Dream about.  That you're wrong, foolish or just plain stupid.  Why would you listen to a Dream-stealer like that?  Here's a way to do a quick check on whether or not you should listen to them - what have they accomplished?  If you look at that, and you like that, then, maybe, you might want to listen to what they have to say, and see if any of it is valuable.  If not...  We're surrounded each and every day by folks who never have anything good to say.  They complain about everything from the weather to politics, from their mother to their kids, about the price of gas for the car, and about the price of tea in China.  And if you let them, they'll not only go on and on and on, but they start to suck you into doing it too.  And that's a shame, because then you lose sight of your Dreams, because you stop looking at the light shining out there on the horizon, and you start looking at the mud on your shoes. 

You really can control your moods.  You are not the small child that screams "You made me mad!!".  You can decide what mood to be in, and you can teach yourself ways to lift your own spirits, comfort your sadnesses, inspire yourself, relax yourself, energize yourself.  The key is to stay positive during the tough times.  Lord knows I have a tough time with this myself, we all do!   But, the harder the challenge is, the more positive you need to be.  We must learn to maximize the good times and shrink the bad times down as small as we can.   We must learn to live in and enjoy the present, and free ourselves from the failures of the past, the worries of the future. 

The only way we can systematically develop good habits is with repetition and practice, and by being organized and focused on "why" we are doing this.   Your "why" needs to be big enough to get you through the very uncomfortable beginning phase of developing a new set of habits.  Your "why", is, of course, your Dream! 

Don't put things off.  If you really don't want to do something that you need to do, do it first, and get it out of the way!  Do the more unpleasant things in the morning, and let the rest of the day be a breeze!  If you put things off, pressure builds, and things get out of control.  You are left with a mess to handle at the end of the day when you are tired and on low batteries.  Don't do it to yourself!

Prepare ahead of time for tasks, jobs, projects.  It will pay off in the end!  There is no such thing as being over-prepared.   Especially in today's incredibly competitive marketplace!  Know everything you can about your chosen profession, and keep up on the changes in your field.  If you're going for a new job, know everything there is to know about the field, the company and even the people who work there.  If you're working on a project, do the research to find out what you need, get all the tools you need ahead of time, figure out your time allotment and schedule your time accordingly.  Knowledge is indeed power, the more knowledge you have about something, the more completely you can control the situation.

One big thing to avoid is the tendency to want to always be right.  Many people make the mistake of arguing a lot, trying to "win".  You can't win an argument.  If you win, you lose, because you just made the other person feel bad.  If you lose, you lose, because you just made the other person think you're a fool.  And in both cases you will probably make the other guy angry, and completely interfere with what you intended to accomplish, which was some communication.  (Remember?)  It's a conversation, not a contest, as my dad used to say. 

Does that mean you have to be a doormat?  Let the other guy say his piece and walk all over you?  Not a bit of it!!  Let them talk, truly listen, and then, it's your turn!  Let them know you understand their issues and concerns.  You may not agree, but now that you've let them have their say, you understand!  From there, you can then present your own needs, your own goals, your own desires.  People will generally appreciate knowing why you are asking them to do something, whether it's making a sale, or confronting a problem.  Then you can go on from there.

Sometimes, it you know there may be a confrontation, it helps if you visualize it first.  That way you can think through what might be said ahead of time, and be calmer, more prepared, make better choices in what you might say, instead of blindly reacting to a stimulus, like one of Pavlov's dogs.  We're not dogs.   We're people.  We have imagination, creativity, the knowledge of right and wrong, and self-awareness to use as tools.  We have the ability to insert these tools between the stimulus and our response, the action and our reaction, if we only give ourselves a chance to use them!  One thing that can help,is,  take a deep breath before you go into that situation.  It helps steady you, prepares you, and the extra oxygen to the brain probably doesn't hurt any either! 

Be careful who you select as a role model, though.  You don't want the "feel-good" people, the "yes-ers", the class clown, or the guy who has a fan club.  Look for those who have traits that can make you a better person.   You don't want to be a carbon copy of someone else, either.  Pick and choose what you can use, don't swallow the whole thing.  Many people have wonderful qualities, but have also made mistakes, or have traits and habits that aren't so terrific.   Use the good stuff, and discard the rest.

But, be yourself, never try to be someone else.  You will only frustrate, and eventually, defeat yourself.  I have a friend, who's a musician, who would,  for years,  always try to copy the great bassists that he heard.  He would get frustrated beyond belief, because he couldn't copy their moves.   Finally, one day he realized he couldn't duplicate those riffs, but that he could do things of his own, that they probably couldn't do either!  So, be you, and learn from the people around you.

Pressure is different.  Pressure is all around us these days.  We don't have to look far for a challenge, for a deadline, for a level of accomplishment that we need to meet, or overcome!  There is no good or bad to it.  It's all in how we deal with it.  Pressure can crush us, or like pressure that turns a lump of coal into a diamond, it can bring out the best in us.  Just like deciding to have a positive attitude, or making the choice to change a habit, we can choose how we respond to pressure.  You can look at it as something challenging, stimulating, and exciting, or you can worry about it until it ruins your performance, and turn it into stress.  

You have to recognize and prepare for pressure.  Like vitamins, you take everyday to fend off illness and raise your energy level.  It's the same way with pressure, the better prepared you are, the better you will be able to handle it.  Develop the skill of keeping things in perspective.  Don't sweat the small stuff, and believe me, most of it is small stuff!  Ask yourself if it will really matter by this time next year! 

Believe in yourself.  Your skills, your strengths.   Don't let your confidence and self-esteem waver because of a challenge.  Deal with what is in front of you.  Don't worry about the part of the mountain you've already climbed, don't look down!  And don't look up either!  Take care of what is right there in front of you.  Take care of today, today, and tomorrow, tomorrow.  

Pressure can be a wonderful thing.  Think about it.   When nothing is at stake, nothing much happens.  When everything is at stake, amazing things can occur!  And they often do!  Many time we will face pressure, and people will look at our challenge, and tell us that we can't over come it.  If we accept their judgements, instead of living true to our own vision, we will be doomed.   If we rise above the negativity of those around us, keep our heads on straight, and overcome our own fears, we will conquer! 

Think of the way competition works.  Are you more eager, more focused, more intense for a practice, or for a real game?  Do you play better in the recording studio or in front of a live audience?  Get passionate, and nothing will stop you!

What do you do when there is no pressure?  When the expectations of your boss, your teacher, your parents are low?  You need to focus your own energies, keep your eyes on your Dream and your own concept of excellence.   If you don't, you will slide into mediocrity, and that leads to failure.  Fear of failure can be a powerful internal pressure.  Embrace that, thrive on that fear.   If there is such a thing as good fear, fear of being mediocre, fear of failure is a good fear! Turn up that fire, and it will keep you motivated and energized!  If no one else is demanding that you give a superior performance, demand it of yourself.   You deserve it!

You must remember that you will always face challenges. There will always be trials and tribulations in this world of ours. Bad things will still happen to good people, life will sometimes be unfair, unpredictable. The key to success is to keep working towards your Dreams as hard as you ever have, because the harder you work, the harder it is to surrender!

You must never quit. Never!

No matter what, you must never end the pursuit of your Dreams.

No, we learn from the tough times. Even suffering has meaning, if we learn something from how we maneuver through that time. There is no grace in suffering, in and of itself. It is more what we learn while we bear the burden, and how we choose to use that lesson in our lives. We must force ourselves to appreciate the good things around us, the beauty in every day. If we don’t the tough times will overwhelm us, and ruin our lives. We need to keep in mind, there is always hope, there is always tomorrow.

We also need to learn from our mistakes. I have a friend who says that there is no such thing as a mistake. It is just a successful example of something that didn’t work. If you learn from it, it’s not a mistake. If you go and do it again, well, if you get kicked by a horse once, you learn not to walk behind there again, don’t you? If you get kicked by a horse a second time, you almost deserve to get kicked!