What to Do if Acquaintance Rape Happens to You
Most women know what to do after they've been raped by a stranger-they call for help immediatly. Yet when women are raped by a man they know, they often cannot react as clearly.
The following are suggestions from rape counselors and recovered women about how to proceed after you have survived a date rape or acquaintance rape attack.
1. Believe in yourself. If you were forced to have sexual intercourse against your will, what happened to you was wrong, regardless of whether you were dating the man who attacked you or you were former lovers, longtime friends, casual acquaintances, or strangers to each other. It was rape even if he didn't use a weapon and you weren't physically hurt.
You may be blaming yourself for what happened, thinking the rape was your fault. It was not. Your rape happened because the man who attacked you decided to do so. Even if you did something you now consider foolish (got drunk, accepted a ride, went to a man's apartment), that action does not mean that you deserved to be raped. No one deserves to be raped.
2. Tell someone. You may want to hide the whole episode as deep inside as possible in an attempt to forget it. Don't. Call someone immediatly whom you trust-a close friend, a sister or parent, a counselor or advisor-and go to that persons home. Tell them what happened. Before you change your clothes or wash, call your local rape crisis centre. They will send someone to talk to you and help you through the difficult hours ahead. If you must change your clothing, put each piece in a seperate paper bag for possible later use as evidence.
3. Get medical help. You should be checked by a doctor immediatly following the rape. Have your friend or other support person go with you to the hospital, health centre, or doctor's office and stay with you during the entire examination. You need to be checked for the possiblity of pregnancy or STD's as well as recieve treatment for any injuries you may have suffered. You also might agree to be examined for rape evidence.
4. Decide whether you want to report the rape to police or other authorities. Reporting any rape to police can be a frightening ordeal. Usually, you will have to recount what happened, often in graphic detail, and undergo a medical exam that looks for rape evidence in, among other places, your genital area, anus, and mouth. Police and prosecutors may question you closly about the rape and they may be openly skeptical of what you say. Should you decide to press criminal charges against the man who raped you, you will have to repeat your testimony several times, including in court. The defence will probably argue that you willingly agreed to have sex with the rapist. He may be found not guilty, he may plea-bargain to a lesser charge, or he may recieve a sentence that to you seems inadequate for the crime: All of these are possibilities. Of course, he may also be found guilty and handed an appropriate punishment.
5. Take time to recover. Find a place to stay for a few days where you feel secure. take several days off of your job or school. Returning to "normal" activities as quickly as possible may be comforting, but realize that you will probably have a wide range of emotions-from fear to anger to depression to guilt-over the next few weeks and months, so proceed cautiously.
6.Get counseling. The process of recovering from rape takes time and you can help that process
by recieving good mental health support. You need to talk with a trained counselor about happened
and how it affects your life. Inquire through a rape-crisis group, campus counseling centre, or your doctor about finding someone to talk to.
You may also want to join a group counseling session with other
rape survivors.
7. Learn more about acquaintance rape. When the immediacy of
your situation has passed, you may want to read the rest of this
book to gain a fuller understanding of the phenomenon of acquaintance rape.
The more you know about date rape and acquaintance rape, the better you'll
be able to deal with your own experience.
8. Strengthen yourself. Sign up for a self defence or assertiveness course in your hometown.
These classes are offered by a wide range of groups, from antirape organizations to YWCAs to police
departments.
9. Talk with other women. You can help get the word out about
acquaintance rape by talking one to one with your friends, by
advocating rape education programs in your school or through
your club, and by building awareness among women who influence
young people. And you can help by talking with other women
who have been raped by an acquaintance-help them to understand what happened,
what to do, and how to carry on.
Links to other sites on the Web
Candle light Vigil
Ascending Moon
The Survivors Page
Rainn Network
Kathy's Page
Rape Recovery help and Information Page
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