i'm getting so behind in my entries. i still write in my actual journal... but still. i've been working(somewhat) on a new page.. located somewhere else... where i won't disclose the address. i don't it to be like a "sister site". i want it to be a completely different thing from this one.
life's changing a lot. ever since february, life's taking a huuuge turn.
and not necessarily for the good.
my brother's home from college for the summer. there's like... just a month left of school. i'll have my car painted soon.. (wow.. it's MY car). my mom's been bitchy ever since my brother came home.. arrgh. feelings are changing...
today seems to be my radiohead night. :)
i dunno what to feel(again). it's not as if bryan likes me again... but i don't know.. my feelings seem to be going back into hiding. they'll never fully fade. i'm always gonna love him... just because he was too special to me. i know i fucked up bigtime by ignoring him... breaking things off in the cowardly way. i'll regret it always.
i dont' have many dreams anymore. my dreams as of right now...to be able to go to the prom with bryan next year.. and to maybe even have a relationship.. i'd love that so much.. you wouldn't even know. if bryan was single.. i would so be on my knees begging for his mercy. that's me... shameless. but i dont' care about pride or any of that when it comes to bryan. it's so obvious.. i mean.. i've exposed my heart to him plenty of times. "once again, left my broken heart open and you ripped it out." ::sigh::
on a lighter side of life.. as if there was one.. when it pertains to me.... i think i'm gonna kill my puppy.. she's chewing and peeing everywhere.. arrgh! i went to old navy yesterday.. spent too much money... bought some of those board shorts.. lol. oh well.. nite.
