Well when I get there the doctor is performing a C-section and will be a while. I told the nurse I was hurting and that I would stay and wait on the doctor.

They called me to the back and the doctor never sees me, she sends an intern in to check me. He said all the pain was, was that the baby was in an uncomfortable position, go home and rest. So I did.

At 2:30am that night I woke up still hurting, I went to the bathroom and checked to see if there was any spotting, and there was no spotting or anything. So I went back to bed. I did not even get laid down good when it felt like someone stuck a knife in the bottom of my stomach, then I felt a gush of something go down my legs, I thought ,Oh my god my water broke, It is to soon!

I got up and turned the light on and discovered it was blood, I was hemorrhaging. I yelled for my husband to call the ambulance while I was tring to get the bleeding to stop.

I got a cold wet towel and wraped it around me like a diaper and remembered when I had a miscarrage in 1992 the doctor told me to keep my feet above my head to stop the bleeding, so I went in the living room and layed down on the floor and put my feet up on the couch. When the ambulance got here I almost had the bleeding stopped but I was in labor.

I went to the hospital where my doctor refused to come, so the hospital called in another GYN ,at mine and my husbands request. This doctor said that I had abrupted and the only choice I had was to deliver. He said he wanted to send me to an even bigger hospital in Jackson, Mississippi (3 hours from where I live). So that my baby and I would have a better chance, I had lost a lot of blood.

So we went to Jackson where I got there at 8:00am on July 9, 1997. I had Jesse at 8:11am (excatley 11 minutes after I got to the hospital). Jesse did good all day that day. My husband went home to get us some clothes and to rest some. We thought Jesse was going to live!

See when I was in labor and being shipped from one hospital to another we prepared ourselves for the worst, for him to be stillborn or born and live only a few hours but he didn't. It was like he had no problems at all. He weighed 2 lbs and 4 ozs and was 14 inches long. We thought all we have to do now is fatten him up and bring him home.

Well on July 10,1997 my husband came back to the hospital around 11:00 am. We went to see Jesse and they were taking him off all his medication and off of the respirator. He was on nothing. He was doing so good. Then all of a sudden a few hours later he started going downhill. They put him back on the respirator and he was pulling hard to breathe. It all happened so fast the next thing I remember is calling my mother and telling her to get over there and then the doctor coming out and said, " He only has an hour to live! You can hold him if you want to." I had my camera in my hand and I don't think I'll ever forget those words.

My husband (Chris) and I went into the room and the doctor met me outside his door and said Mrs. Harris if your going to hold him you need to hurry. So I hurried and they put my beautiful baby boy in my arms for the first and last time. That was the only time I ever got to hold him alive! The nurse took pictures(the only pictures I have).

Jesse looked at me and told me with his eyes "mama let me go". I really could understand him just by looking at his eyes. I told him that I loved him, that daddy loved him, his brothers and sister loved him and he would always be a part of our lives. That we would never forget him. I told him that I understood that he needed to go and that he wouldn't be in any more pain ever again. That I would see him again one day. I just kept telling him that I loved him and then I told him it was ok he could go now I understand why you want to and don't worry about mama and daddy we would be just fine knowing he was going to heaven. And as soon as I said it, he died in my arms.

My husband was standing at my side. I felt Jesse take his last breath. When I looked up my husband was in pieces. They doctor listened to his heart and told me he was gone. At that point I went to pieces. My husband and I were there for each other that night. I don't really remember much after that, I now the funeral was on July 12, 1997 and Jesse died on July 10, 1997 and that's about it.

Jesse died from severe plumanary hemorrhaging (He started bleeding in the lungs and they couldn't stop it) caused from premature birth.

I will tell you one thing this has changed me. I am not the same person I used to be. My marriage is not the same. I used to consider myself to have the perfect marriage, now it is not as perfect. At one time it was on rockey ground, but we our back on solid ground again. Not where it used to be though. I have 3 other children other than Jesse, an 8 year old boy named Cody, a 5 years old girl named Jamie, and a 3 year old boy named Wyatt. My 2 oldest children ask about their baby brother all the time and why he died. What am I suppose to tell an 8 and 5 year old, Why their newborn brother died? When I don't know the answer for sure myself! They don't understand it was his time to go and that GOD wanted him to be with him! I thank GOD for my life and chilldrens lives everyday.

Thank you for listening!