THOUGHTS/FEELINGS/
WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
By: Someone who knows
The house is quiet and the children are asleep
The news just came on, I look at the clock
A familiar knot forms in my stomach
The bar you patronize is closing it's doors
Will you come home or find another?
Should I go to sleep or wait?
I know that you will wake me when you
come in, because you always do
Will it be to talk or to argue?
Did you have a good day or a bad one?
I can only pray that it was a good one,
so I do not have to "pay" for a bad one
I lay there waiting, listening to every noise,
waiting to hear the door open
I jump with every car door I hear
waiting to hear you say goodbye
to your ride outside.
The hours go by, you're still not home
the knot grows tighter now
The wait is long and tiring
Should I doze for a while, if I do will I hear you come in?
Will I be caught off guard, and if I am, what will you do?
What am I waiting for? Why do I wait?
Night after night after night, I wait
Is it because I miss you? NO, not at all!!!
It is because I do not trust you
I need to be awake when you come home
So that when you begin to take out all your
problems on me
I will remember everything you did,
This way the day I LEAVE
I will be sure not to change my mind
I will not go back
Then, I will not have to wait anymore.
What am I waiting for?
The day when I will no longer have to.
Questions.............
By: JB
Where will I go, when I decide to leave?
Do I turn to my family or to my friends?
If it were just me, would it be any easier?
How long will it take to get back on my feet?
Will it put a strain between my sister and I?
You see, she does not have any children
and I have three
She lives on her own with her cat,
and she prefers it that way
Taking in four more people is alot to ask
I have changed, I am very bitter now
I snap at everyone for no reason at all
My mother asks, "Where did the old you go?"
She tries to help me as much as she can and
does not deserve the way I act
I hurt her I know, but not intentionally
I'm frustarted and I don't know what to do
Will he come to their homes and start with me there?
Why should my family have to go through all of this?
This is not their problem, is it?
And friends, what friends?
He has chased them all away
There are still a few that still talk to me here and there
But they have families of their own now
I could not bear if something should happen to them
Where do I go, to a shelter?
I am afraid, ashamed, confused and unsure
What will it be like there?
Will my children be okey staying there?
Will they hate me for having to leave their things behind?
The answers to these questions are very hard to find
Although some people will say they are very easy,
They however are not the ones looking for them
Why must we be the ones to leave?
Why do we have to be the ones to find the answers?
Why can't HE be the one who has to go?
Why can't something be done to keep him away?
According to the law, he has RIGHTS
He has the right to see the children
Did he care about them when he was abusing me in front of them?
Did he care about them when he was taking all the money?
He has rights, where are my RIGHTS?
What can be done to make sure he leaves us alone?
Where are the answers, does anyone know?
Why must WE be punished, WE didn't do anything wronge.