Hide the Soap
A silly Hercules and Iolaus adventure
by
Ogami

Note: I wrote this story to answer the question of whether lesbian subtext exists on Xena:Warrior Princess. It's an innocent little piece that revisits the famous hottub scene from the 2nd season episode A Day in the Life, but with a slightly different cast...



Hercules and Iolaus are sitting in a hot tub that Minya has drawn for them. Iolaus is sitting behind Hercules, and is washing the other man's back with a bar of as-yet-not-invented soap.

Iolaus: You always do that.

Hercules: Do what?

Iolaus: Change a plan you've done before. I hate that!

Hercules: Well, you have to be original, it comes with the job. (pauses) Okay, turn around so I can do your back.

Iolaus and Hercules carefully switch positions in the hot tub so as to not let their nipples appear above water. Hercules is ready to wash Iolaus' back.

Herc (looking around): Are you sitting on the soap?

Iolaus gets a puzzled expression, and then reaches around the tub, searching for the lost soap. Hercules' expression changes, perhaps indicating Iolaus' search has not been fruitless.

Iolaus frowns, and finally sits up a little. Grinning broadly, he triumphantly holds the soap up out of the water for Hercules.

Hercules takes the offered soap, and then frowns at it.

Hercules: Ewww!

Iolaus: What?

Hercules: It's all covered with your butt hair.

Calling on his godly strength, Hercules hurls the offending bar of soap through the wall. The soap then sails through the air and lands in a far-away kingdom, where it is worshipped as a gift from the gods.

The End!

Disclaimer: No serious Hercules/Iolaus fiction was harmed in the making of this story.

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