Rating: NC-17- m/m sex strongly implied.
Catagory: Angst? Humor? I don't know.
Archive:M_A? Sith_Chicks? Anybody who wants it just let me know.
Disclaimer: As always the Jedi belong to George Lucas.
Spoilers: None
Summary:Bitten by plot bunny of Dixiebell's. Obi has a secret.
Excuses: No beta mistakes belong to me alone. Hope it isn't too
bad.
Feedback: Yes please! Even flames will keep me warm.Reply to
OldToxicHd@aol.com
He was doing it again. Staring into nothingness with that secret
smile on his face. It was driving him insane to see that beatific
expression on the young man's face. Obi-wan, his Apprentice was
in love. Of this Qui-Gon was certain.
A bitter taste rose in his throat at the thought of his Padawan
giving himself to another. He had done all in his power including
things he should not have in pursuit of the name of the one. He
had read his apprentices private correspondence. Hacked into the
lad's personal files. Searched his room. Followed him whenever he
left their quarters alone. Eavesdropped on his conversations.
Everything but ask Obi-Wan himself.
This madness had started innocently enough seven months ago.
Seeking to lighten the burden on his Apprentice at a time of
several exams he had been tidying their common room. A folder had
spilled on the floor in a flood of paper. Amidst the course notes
there lay a poem. Not just a poem a love poem. Written in
Obi-Wan's clear and elegant script it had to be an original work.
Nevertheless a faint hope had led him to search for a match in
the Temple's extensive library to no avail.
The poem had made certain things very clear. His Padawan had been
in love for a long time at least four years. 'My love for thee
bloomed as I watched the Flame Flowers open.' Qui-Gon knew of
only one mission that had taken the two of them to Mima II the
home of Flame Flowers. It had been when Obi-Wan had just turned
sixteen and the sudden emotional distance in the boy had caused
the Master no little pain. He had thought at the time that his
apprentice's stronger shielding were the result of puberty rather
than passion. Obi-Wan's beloved was male. 'My lips long to
worship the shaft of my love's manhood.' If the lover had been a
female it would have been easier to accept Qui-Gon told himself.
He would not have felt so rejected if the young man had preferred
women. Virginal was not a valid description of his Padawan any
longer. 'I crave the pleasure/pain of you thrusting inside me.'
An image that continued to eat at his heart despite Qui-Gon's
attempts to purge it from his mind. Coruscant was the home of
this stranger who had beguiled his Obi-Wan. 'Precious are the
moments between missions when I can at last bask in the simple
pleasure of my love's presence.' Aside from these few clues the
poem was maddeningly unspecific.
Serenity had fled the day he had read that damned poem.
Conscience screaming he had kept the poem even though it had been
burned into his memory after the first reading. When Obi-Wan had
come to him blushing, looking for his property Qui-Gon had lied.
Lied to his beloved Padawan for the first time. Shame twisted his
gut. Jealousy turned him into hard taskmaster. Continually
leading him to find fault where there was none. Nightmares
haunted his sleep. Obi-wan and some faceless man copulating
frantically. Images of this phantom cruelly abusing the tender
heart of his Padawan. Every glimpse of firm young flesh was
analyzed endlessly for any evidence of lovemaking. He had had to
withdraw even further from the youth to hide his distress.
Months later eating alone in the communal dining hall Mace had
joined him. Within moments his old crèche-mate had deduced his
inner turmoil. His piercing gaze reducing Qui-Gon's defenses to
rubble. He found himself confessing all to the other man. He
waited for my friend to tell me how foolish He was behaving. To
his surprise there had been no harsh judgement in his friend's
eyes just sympathy.
"Does Obi-Wan know of your feelings for him?" Mace had
asked quietly.
He shook his head sadly. "What's the point? I had been
waiting until he had reached his maturity. Had I but known he had
lost his heart when hardly more than a child I would have crushed
these feelings for him when it was still possible." His
hands trembled as he covered his face.
"You know you're not going to eat that ", he said
indicating the untouched tray. "Let's go to my rooms where
we can at least have some privacy. There is no need to inform the
whole temple of your problems."
Blindly he had let his friend guide him to his quarters.
Ensconced in an over-stuffed armchair a cup of steaming tea in
his hands Qui-Gon began to regain his composure. Seated across
from him Mace gazed past steepled fingers.
"What have you done so far to find out the identity of
Obi-Wan's lover?"
Shamefaced he told of how he had spied on his Padawan.
"Have you tried talking to his friends?"
"No it is too embarrassing to contemplate."
"On the contrary I believe that it is the next step. Setting
your feelings for the youth aside for a moment, you have reason
to be concerned. Your Padawan has had no cause to hide his
relationship from you. I know you. You would never have put your
feelings before his in such a matter. If this lover of his is on
the up and up his friends will know about him. If this a secret
from all we might have to intervene for the young man's
safety."
"He is an adult. He is free to make his own choices."
Qui-Gon's voice was rueful.
"Not if this started while he was underage and his lover was
not."
Of a mind at last the Masters started to plan.
Seemingly casual meetings took place over the next few days. All
of Obi-Wan's closest friends currently on Coruscant were
questioned. One after another expressed ignorance of any
long-standing relationship involving Qui-Gon's Padawan. All those
interviewed were sworn to secrecy. He slipped into despair.
Then Bant Obi-Wan's oldest and dearest friend returned to
Coruscant with her Master. If anyone knew his Padawan's heart
Bant did. A word with her master and a meeting was arranged.
The young Calamarian fidgeted uncomfortably in her chair facing
three Jedi Masters. Bant was still underage so it was thought
best to include her Master in the interview. After a nod from
Qui-Gon Master Windu began the questioning. It was apparent
almost immediately that Bant knew the object of Obi-Wan's
affections. Her refusal to tell came almost as quickly.
"I cannot betray Obi-Wan's confidence this way, I gave him
my word." Bant confided her coral colored skin blanching in
dismay.
"Can you tell us how you came to know of the affair it might
prove helpful?" Qui-Gon asked.
"I wouldn't call it that." She squirmed in her seat,
her eyes trained on the floor.
"If this is as innocent as you seem to think where is the
harm in telling us the circumstances around which Obi-Wan
confided in you? We are concerned for him." Qui-Gon
continued.
Bant shot a glance at her Master and said nothing.
"Are you afraid you will get in trouble?" Her Master
asked.
Bant nodded, blanching further.
"Unless people were hurt I promise you will not be
punished", Bant's Master Sinsen Tomen assured her.
Qui-Gon looked his thanks at Master Tomen.
"Obi and I were out drinking on one of the lower
levels," Bant peeked at her Master who nodded reassuringly.
"We had way too much and got really drunk. He was trying to
help me get over a broken heart. He told me of his true love and
how impossible the situation was." She cast a quick look at
Qui-Gon. "We decided that because the people we loved owned
our hearts we should have their names tattooed on us. Showing
that they owned our bodies as well." Blushing now Bant's
skin became rosy as the Masters watched.
Mace and Qui-Gon exchanged a glance.
"Is that the tattoo you had removed from your back",
Master Tomen asked?
Bant nodded.
"Obi-Wan has no tattoo on his back", Qui-Gon persisted,
confusion in his voice.
"Obi didn't have it put on his back. He said he wanted to
put it where only his true love would be able to see it." By
this time Bant's skin had achieved a brilliant orange.
"Where is it on his backside?" Master Windu smiled.
"It is on the underside of his penis", she blurted out.
Three Masters stared at her speechless.
Clearing his throat Qui-Gon croaked. "Does he still have
this tattoo do you know?"
"As far as I know he does", Bant replied. "That's
all I can tell you. He's probably going to be mad that I told you
that. May I go now?"
The Masters nodded as one. The Calamarian Padawan scurried
quickly from the room.
"Thank you for your help Sinsen", Qui-Gon managed after
a few seconds.
"Good luck Qui-Gon." Master Tomen managed as she
followed her Padawan.
As soon as they were alone Mace released the laughter that he had
been holding in check
"It's not funny" Qui-Gon fumed.
"Like hell it isn't. By the Force how are we going to find
out what it says?"
In the days to follow Qui-Gon devoted many hours of meditation to
the problem of his Apprentice's hidden tattoo. He scheduled a
complete physical for Obi-Wan with the healers. Three solid
months before it was due, silencing his Padawan's objections with
a look. Questioning the healers afterward he learned that Obi-Wan
was in perfect health and indeed had a tattoo on his member. As
to what it said the healers had been unable to say. Claiming the
Apprentice had used slight of hand or perhaps slight of penis was
a better term to keep the tattoo hidden. Undeterred Qui-Gon took
his charge camping for a week on the wilderness world of
Circarpous V. The Master had tried in vain to catch a glimpse of
the tattoo as they bathed in the river near their campsite. On
Obi-Wan's Naming Day he had plied the younger man with
Alderaanian Brandy hoping to get his Padawan drunk enough for him
to examine the tattoo. Qui-Gon awoke the next day with the
realization that he had passed out and that his Padawan had put
him to bed.
Attempt after attempt had failed. Obi-Wan began to avoid his
Master and their rooms as much as possible. Showing up moments
before training sessions and disappearing afterward. Whenever
they were on a mission the young Jedi went to great lengths to
secure separate cabins. Choosing to sleep in broom closets alone
rather than share a bed with his Master. The situation went from
uncomfortable to intolerable as Qui-Gon felt driven to greater
and greater lengths to find out Obi-Wan's secret.
Disaster struck on an assignment to the Corillian system. Qui-Gon
had been unable to find his Padawan and their mission had almost
failed.
Master and Apprentice had not spoken since their ignoble return
some hours earlier. The silence weighed heavily upon them as they
had reluctantly trudged to give their report to the High Council.
Master Yoda stared angrily at the two Jedi before him. Neither
one was able to meet his eyes. Councilor Windu looked distinctly
uncomfortable as well as he shifted in his seat. Sighing
unhappily Yoda spoke, "Padawan Kenobi explain you will why
you abandoned your Master."
Qui-Gon interrupted. "It was my fault my Master not
Obi-Wan's."
Yoda struck his gimer stick against the floor with a resounding
'THWACK' silencing Qui-Gon. "Kenobi did I ask. Plenty of
blame there is for all. Answer you will Apprentice Kenobi."
"My Master has not been himself for some time now. My
presence seems to disturb him of late and I only sought to ease
his distress." Obi-Wan could not tear his gaze from the
floor at his feet. "Harrumph!" Yoda said as loudly as
anyone had ever heard the tiny master speak. "Master Jinn
problem there is with your Padawan?"
Qui-Gon flushed crimson as words failed him.
"Foolishness is this! Two Jedi almost lost!" 'THWACK'
went the stick. "Master Windu told us he did. Wait too long
we did for you settle this. A Jedi knows not pride. Pride
Apprentice Kenobi. Pride Master Jinn." Yoda stopped
breathing heavily.
"If you had shared instead some of the great affection you
have for each other this could have been avoided." Knight
Ki-Adi-Mundi spoke softly his voice barely audible after Master
Yoda's outburst.
"Settle this you will or separate you we must."
Qui-Gon knew that his face had gone from red to purple. His
Padawan beside him had gone instead very pale.
"Choose you must Padawan Kenobi. Show now the Council your
tattoo or to your Master show in private." Yoda's eyes were
mere slits as he examined the Jedi before him.
Obi-Wan was quick to answer nearly in tears, "Please Master
Yoda I choose to show my Master my tattoo."
"See that you do. Today you must. You both go now."
Dismissed the two slowly returned to their quarters. Once inside
Obi-Wan ran to his room shutting the door behind him. Qui-Gon sat
in the dining area head in hands. This debacle had been his
entire fault. If only he had been able to banish his feelings for
his Apprentice he would not be at risk of losing him altogether.
Why had he listened to Mace? He should have ignored the poem.
Tucked it back in Obi-Wan's folder and forgotten it. The years
stretched before him bleak without his beloved Padawan. Tears
made their way through his fingers to flow down into his sleeves.
He no longer cared whose name was on the man he loved. As soon as
he mastered himself he would go to Obi-Wan and tell him he did
not need to show him the damned tattoo it did not matter.
A soft touch on his shoulder startled the Master.
"Master?"
Obi-Wan sounded so young like the boy Qui-Gon used to know. Not a
boy now a man worthy of respect. He gradually raised his head.
Obi-Wan his precious Obi-Wan stood naked before him. Both their
faces were streaked with tears.
"You don't have to do this Padawan. I will make it right
with the Council."
"Yes I do. It's not about the Council anymore. Master Yoda
was right it was all about pride. I'm sorry my Master."
Obi-Wan walked to the center of the common room and turned to
face the older man. Chin on chest, arms at his sides he closed
his eyes.
Qui-Gon rose and approached his apprentice. Stopping before this
golden man he dropped to his knees. He had dreamed of kneeling at
Obi-Wan's feet so often a sense of unreality struck him.
Obi-Wan's cock hung limply inches from his face. Gingerly he
grasped the penis before him and lifted it gently. There along
the sensitive underside were letters picked out in green
calligraphy. It took a moment before his brain was willing to
process the name. Qui-Gon Jinn was the name of Obi-Wan's secret
love.
Fin