Why Me?
by Beckers

Dazed, just awakening from a comfortable slumber, she could hear a fire in the hearth, its comforting crackle sweet music to her ears. The memory of last night drifted through her mind and she smiled, her eyes remaining closed and her head resting securely against a human pillow. It hadn't been the first time she felt such bliss but, if she were to be honest with herself, she had never felt the desires they shared last evening with such intense pleasure. The down blanket that covered them was a gift from Xena's mother, such a sweet woman, and it felt lovely against her bare back. So did the smooth but firm flesh beneath her hands. Warmed, Gabrielle couldn't resist temptation. Gently, she traced her fingers upward, past a muscular chest, and felt soft shoulder length hair.

She had explored that head of golden curls, Gabrielle recalled, only eight hours before. She had run her fingers through it, pushed her nose into it and smelled it's incredible aroma. At one point during the evening, when her will was not truly her own, she had actually considered getting lost in it ... Gabrielle smiled and suppressed a giggle. She then breathed in, her eyes remaining closed, taking in the scent of her new husband. Finally, she pulled herself up a bit, turned her head and planted a soft kiss right in the middle of his chest. Then she opened her eyes and looked at him,

"Why me?" she whispered, not expecting him to answer.

"Because I love you." he responded softly, unintentionally startling his bride.

Iolaus carefully wrapped his arms around her and pulled Gabrielle forward, meeting her lips with his own. He still marveled at the nearly unbearable softness of her athletic body, at its deceptive delicacy. Not a weak form in any way, he knew. She was strong and passionate and their night together - their first as husband and wife - was incredible ... a true learning experience for he as well as Gabrielle. She had so much love to give and they had been so good together yet ....

"Why did you ask me that?" he queried when, after another kiss, she stare down at him.

"Asked what?" she questioned in a whisper, appearing starry-eyed and touching his temple with amiable finger tips.

"You wanted to know 'why me?'. What did you mean?"

Gabrielle averted her eyes in regret, "I'm sorry. I just meant ... you've known so many women, Iolaus. You're far more experienced with matters of the heart than I. All those women you have loved could offer you so much more than I ... so why me?"

"Not one of 'all those women' could offer me what you have." He lifted a hand and placed it on the side of her head, touching her satiny hair, his thumb tracing a loving line across her cheek. "And how can you be so sure I have loved so many women?" he smiled when he saw her softly winced, "To be honest, Gabrielle, I have loved only four women in my entire life. One was my wife, who died far too soon and the other two ..." He suddenly looked away from her, pain evident. "Well, they were not willing to give up ..." He paused, wondering if he should impart such information when he and Gabrielle's relationship was so fresh.

"Tell me." she urged, shifting her body slightly in their bed and running her hands up his bare arms. "I want no secrets between us."

Iolaus gently bit his lip. It was as if she could read his mind.

"I have loved Queen Niobe of Attica and Nebula, pirate and Queen of Sumeria. Both had responsibilities and could not leave their kingdoms for me. Yet, they wanted me to leave my life, traveling and partnering with Hercules, for them. To them my life as I lived it was insignificant compared to their own. They never said it but I felt it."

"They wanted you to be with them ... and live a lie?" she asked, "To be something you're not?"

"In a way, yes. I always felt if two people wanted to be together, were meant to be together, there would have to be sacrifices but equal sacrifices. They would both have to give up something precious to be together -- but those losses wouldn't matter over their ultimate goal. Togetherness."

The Amazon-bard smiled. She had always thought there a hidden poet in Iolaus somewhere and now she knew it true. "In me you found someone who was willing to give up what was most precious in her life ... and I found the same in you." He might be older than she but Iolaus was still vulnerable and faced with the same concerns and dilemmas as his new wife. They were so much alike and now, more than ever, Gabrielle knew she had found her true soulmate. Gabrielle loved Xena. Iolaus loved Hercules. But they were both gone to them now. It had to happen sooner or later. Oh yes, of course they would see them again - both heroes together and separately - but it would never be the same as it was before. It couldn't be. And as much as they hated to admit it, the bonds they shared with their best friends were not meant to be forever.

At least, not in this world. Was it a wise sacrifice, leaving the two people who meant more to them than anything in the known world? He pulled her up once again for a passionate kiss, which would eventually lead to far more. Yes, Gabrielle considered without a doubt. There were no mistakes here.

"I love you, Gabrielle"

"I love you too, Iolaus."

Love and marriage. What a novel approach. Outside the sun arose on a bright new day.

THE END (Written July 4, 2000)