Chalkboard Punishments
The opening credits of The Simpsons show Bart Simpson writing the same
sentence over and over again on a chalkboard. You know, it's the old
"write it 100 times" punishment, which establishes him as a
troublemaker. Each early episode he would be seen writing a new and
different phrase. Someone apparently went to the trouble to tape all
the Simpsons shows, watched them all, and wrote these down. Even if
you're not a fan, you may enjoy these:
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
I will not snap bras.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head."
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
No one is interested in my underpants.
I will not sell miracle cures.
I will return the seeing-eye dog.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
I will not waste chalk.
Underwear should be worn on the inside.
I will not torment the emotionally frail.
The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"
I will never win an emmy.
