Links to other sites on the Web
During that first year of mourning for my mother, I was in a constant state of sadness. I almost felt as if I was not allowed to enjoy life or that I would never find joy again. I was unbearable to be around.
I felt very isolated. I had lost some of my faith, I blamed God for taking away the one person who always loved me unconditionally. She introduced me to Jane Austen. I discovered the 18th century English novel. So because of her loss, I went less frequently to shule(synogogue)
A week before mom's accident and in time for my 50th birthday I was diagnosed with diabetes. I did not take care of myself, I was grossly overweight and her final months were stressful. A bad excuse I know but I didn't care how much I weighed and did not know if I wanted to go on. At one point my closest friend gave me gift of laughter through a gay vampire mystery series. I will always love him for that.
I started a new drug for both my disease and hopefully to help me lose weight. Byetta(tm)a drug made from artificial lizard spit. It slows gastric emptying at the same time it is working on the pancreas.
I went to my rabbi's wedding reception and I am glad I did. I was taking pictures of everyone and the cakes as well(she had two)I had a wonderful time. the room was just filled with love. It was so joyous, so different from family celebrations on my father's side of the family. I found another reason to go on with life.
Even my living room and lots of closet space. NO carpeting. I bought brand new air conditioners, no filters to buy, just keep cleaning these. Now I just have to buy bookshelves, set up the new DVD player and get a kitchen set. Of course I do have to continue to unpack.
Life is good. I have diabetes, it does NOT have me.
It was not hard to decide what to do in the next chapter of my life. I wanted to volunteer for hospice work. They do so much and I wanted to thank them for those who cannot speak for themselves. It was just hard waiting, waiting for the year to be up so I could confidently volunteer for what they needed me to do. I am behind the scenes I am called an administrative volunteer. I do whatever office work needs to be done and lately they have even called on me to help them develop two libraries. One is mainly magazines and articles with some books, a medical library for families and professionals. the other is a bereavement library, all books. I am waiting for them to arrive.
I volunteer(it is real work)for Metropolitan Jewish Hospice. It is the best thing, I have ever done for myself. I must add that they do appreciate their volunteers, all of us.
Links to other sites on the Web
Metropolitan Jewish Hospice
Am Diabetes Association
Natl Hospice Palliative Care Org
for Books on Mourning
Nat'l Hospice Foundation
Hospice(find one in your area)