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Talmud Berachot 18A "The Righteous In their Death are Called Living"
This week's torah portion has at least two mentions of Gimilut Chasadim(acts of lovingkindness) Abraham buys a burial plot for his family and Rebecca shows kindness to a stranger and his camels.
According to Pirkei Avot , Good deeds are better than wise sayings. Our introduction to Rebecca is her deeds and not her appearance . Her clothes, jewelry, figure, and face are not described in this parsha. Her behavior demonstartes her kindness and her character, her chesed. She does not turn away from a stranger nor judge him. She even offers water to his camels.
The importance of chesed is found in many of our texts, in Pirkei Avot it is written that the world is founded on three things, torah, avodah, and gemilut chasadim. The rabbis also taught "In three respects are gemilut chasadim superior to charity. Charity can only be given with one's money, whereas, gemilut chasadim can be done with one's person and one's money. Charity can only be given to the poor; gemilut chasadim can be done for both rich and poor. Charity can only be given for the living, but gemilut chasadim can be done for the living and the dead, as in attending to funeral needs. (Tractate Sukkah 49b)
By now the Book of Genesis has made it abundantly clear that the treatment of strangers takes the measure of a society's moral code. Eliezer however wants more for Isaac's lifelong partner. The singularly human quality of compassion should extend to include all animal life. Rebecca is stirred by the sight of thirsting camels and unsolicited volunteers and labors to end their discomfort.
the ringing words of Shakespeare's play Merchant of Venice come to mind: "The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blest. It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."
Rebecca's act of kindness to Eliezer and his camels was not strained. It is free from any ulterior motive. She embodied a core value of the torah which became gemilut chasadim; the doing acts of loving kindness.
Judaism did not need Shakespeare to lecture it on the ideal of mercy. The torah had already put law into the service of curbing human aggressiveness. On the basis of this thrust, Maimonides went so far as to posit that cruelty is utterly alien to Judaism. NO Jewish community was to be without a society devoted to fostering deeds of loving kindness, cheering bride and groom, visiting the sick, burying the dead or comforting mourners.
One of the sad symptoms of the shrinking of Judaism in the modern age is that these mitzvoth came to be seen solely as rabbinic duties, just as the synogogue, enlarged and beautified became the only arena for the practice of Judaism. Nothing can be further from the spirit of Judaism than such surrogate religon. The torah begins and ends with strkining examples of gemilut chasadim. God clothes Adam and Eve and buries Moses personally. In between we are treated to an incomparable feat of striving for self-transcendence every Jew is called upon to add to the sum total of divine sparks in the world.
This weekend ends National Family Caregiver's Week. What does it mean to be a caregiver? It means to balance both the needs of yourself and your loved one. From the first day of caring to the last, you have to plan for more than just yourself. Sometimes compromises have to be made or some plans laid aside or you just have to give something up.
You also have to forget past resentments or regrets. Either one is excess baggage and will weigh you down. Don't carry that load, enjoy the time you have left with your loved one. Make new memories because you do not know how much time you have left together, enjoy each moment. Don't take life for granted.
Caregiving is knowing your loved one might not be able to thank you personally. You might not get any appreciation or gratitude from anyone, anyplace, anytime. Expect criticism especially from those who have never been a caregiver and have no intention of actually doing anything that might be helpful to you because chances are it is too difficult for them. It has to come from within yourself that you have done this deed of loving kindness. It also helps to belong to a supportive faith community and support group of other caregivers.
Most of all, caregiving can be an adventure or a journey into yourself as you discover skills or abilities that you didn't know you had. You learn from each new situation or or problem.
Caregiving is a powerful challenge to us to live a life of gemilut chasadim where day in and day out we are challenged to follow in Rebecca's footsteps and to give freely/generously to those in our lives. Just as Rebecca's acts of of kindness toward Eliezer and his camels show us that she is a role model, so then we become role models with our every act of loving kindness for the next generations.
Shabbat Shalom.
(C)2000 Penny Klein.
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