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It is a little over two years since I first put up these pages. I can safely say that I am happier with my synogogue and my relationship with God than I was at the beginning of my caregiving journey. Mom is doing better than I expected. My father is still ill with many muscle, skeletal diseases. He has to take heart pills but he refuses anti depressants and occaisionally thinks mom is going to learn Hebrew. other than that he has calmed down about her condition.
The rabbi I had so much resentment for resigned but before he left, I finally pinned him down to a date when he would recite the special healing prayer for my mother. I had bought and paid for it at the shule's fundraising auction. He did give me a hard time, always getting out of it like the proverbial fox, but finally he came through. It took place on the day Jews all over the world read the torah portion named Shabbat Shira, Sabbath of Song in which Moses and the Israelites cross the divided sea. The Torah scroll text is written so the words form a metaphorical brick wall. Mom got to see it. She stood up on bima(altar, podium, stage, etc) right next to the scroll and I showed it to her and then he chanted the healing words he made up for her. One and a half years after that mom does not remember him but she remembers the Torah, her generation did not get to see it up close and personal when they were younger.
I started regularly attending shule in the last half of this year and I found the congregation much more friendly and warmer to mom than they had ever been. Then I was able to get Saturday help for mom. A home attendant comes in on Saturdays so I do not always have to take mom to services. Sometimes it is more of rest when she stays with the attendant. I am quite happy with the congregation these days.
On August 1, a new rabbi began her work at my synogogue. I met with her the first week and was impressed with her warmth, charm and knowledge. It is a few months since then and nothing has happened to disappoint me in her. In fact she is much friendlier to my mother than the other rabbi ever was to us. She is energetic, makes hospital visits, asks after people's families and when mom is there is able to to tell her how glad she is to see her. She is very young and enthusiastic about the future and I enjoy her energy. I am now taking her class on the ritual garments of Judaism. I also plan to take her class next semester on Finding God. Even though I am comfortable with my vision, feeling about the Divine One, I am on a journey and she has so much to offer that I want to take it all from her.
Mom loves to go mostly for the snacks, we call it kiddish. Food is very important in Judaism. Anyway, People do go out of their way to greet mom and shake hands with her. Very few people are scared of her etc. Mom has a big smile when she thinks of the shule.
I was able to deliver the dvar torah for National Family Caregiver's Month's last weekend and many members told me how much they enjoyed it. Good, bad or indifferent, I belong to an incredibly young congregation most are not yet 40 although we certainly have our share of the aging baby boomers. So I feel a little strange in a sea of twenty and thirty something congregants. It will be years before they have to confront the problems of aging parents or seriously ill loved ones. Yet, during prayers, I can feel a connection with them, especially on Shabbat.
Since my shule does not have a library yet, I have volunteered to set one up from scratch as long as I had a committee and of course congregation leadership support. The new rabbi agreed to submit her list/s of what books make up the bare necessity and then the next level of books we will need if we had the money. I have a few others who are willing to help make this a reality. I was told recently by other professional librarians like myself that I must be ready for the Happy Home for Half Wit Librarians if I am volunteering my skills to a congregation. It is believed that it will never get the proper funding and support because everything else will be a priority. I was told that this was a universal truth of synogogue and church librarians. However I do not think that will happen in this shule. I have joined or about to join the appropriate professional organizations for this project. So If this is not a committment to an organization then I do not know what would be.
© 1997 pklein28@mindspring.com
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