Griff Dogg
Ahh, Griff Dogg, the staple of the White Hen. You know you're pathetic when you've been working at the same convenience store for eleven years, but who am I to talk? Anywho, I must admit, whenever I worked with Griff Dogg, the insults were flying and there was never a dull moment. One of my favorite memories of Griff Dogg was the time he apprehended a shoplifter. Get ready for this one. The perpetrator, a young, white male in his early 20s, who had this perpetually stoned look on his face, had the audacity to steal 30 cents worth of Twizzlers. This was a grave mistake on the part of the young man. Griff Dogg happened to be stocking the cooler when he viewed the perpetrator pocket the Twizzlers. He grabbed one of the long sticks of Genoa Salami that we keep in the cooler, dashed out of the cooler, began letting out howls like Tarzan, hurdled the counter, ran outside, and began pummeling the shoplifter with the salami. The perpetrator gave back the Twizzlers after about ten seconds, and Griff Dogg was victorious. He received the much sought after Golden Hen for his efforts.......Ah, if only this had really happened. Something like this would really brighten my day!