“And so he said, ‘You mean we’ve never gone out to dinner together before?’” Buffy told, laughing.
Willow grinned back at her. “So what did you say?” she asked, leaning forward.
“I said we’d never exactly been a normal couple,” Buffy replied with a smirk.
Instead of pointing out that Buffy’s facial expression looked remarkably like one she’d seen on Angel, Willow just laughed. “So, what’s it like?”
Buffy took a sip of her soda. “What’s what like?”
“Being a normal couple. You and Angel.”
Buffy leaned back in her chair and frowned. “We didn’t exactly have much time to be a normal couple,” she explained. “You know, classes starting and all.”
Willow nodded. “I know. So what are you going to do now?”
“Well,” Buffy said slowly, “we’re going to do the long distance thing. See each other on weekends…you know, see what happens.”
Willow chuckled. “That’s great, Buffy, but that’s not what I was talking about.”
“Oh,” Buffy replied, sounding embarrassed. “Now I feel silly. What were you talking about?”
“What are you going to do this semester?” Willow clarified. “I mean, last year you didn’t know what you wanted to study. Have you decided on a major yet?”
“Actually,” Buffy replied slowly, “I’m thinking about sticking with psychology.”
“Really?” Willow asked in surprise.
Buffy nodded. “This summer, when I was with Angel and he had amnesia…I really wanted to do something to help, you know? But I didn’t know what to do. And it’s not like we could just take him to a typical psychiatrist.”
Willow chuckled slightly. “On account of his…unusual background. Wouldn’t he have some…interesting stories to tell a doctor.”
Buffy couldn’t help but grin at that. “Yeah, well, that and the fact that he was wanted by the police.”
Willow grinned at her. She’d missed Buffy over the summer. It had been very quiet in Sunnydale while she was gone. Even the demons had been laying low. Now Buffy was back, and her attitude was a sharp contrast from when she had left. She was no longer withdrawn and depressed, instead if anything seeming a little bit lonely. She didn’t show it often, and it didn’t seem to bother her much. Instead she threw herself back into her life: her friendships, her slaying, even apparently her coming schoolwork. This was the Buffy she had missed those weeks before she had left to spend the summer in L.A.
“Are you upset that Giles and I didn’t tell you that Angel was alive?” Willow asked after a moment.
Buffy was silent in thought. She sighed. “If I was going to be angry,” she said, “I would have been angry right when I realized you knew and hadn’t told me. My reaction at the time was shock. So, no, I’m not angry.” She paused. “Though why didn’t you tell me?”
“Giles…wasn’t sure of how you’d react,” Willow explained.
“Yeah, well…” Buffy chuckled. “Maybe he was right to worry about that.”
“So,” Willow said after another long pause, “are we going to see Angel any time soon? I’d like to see him, especially human and all.” Willow was pretty eager at the concept, actually. She couldn’t even picture Angel in the sunlight.
Buffy shrugged. “I’m not sure.” At Willow’s puzzled look, she tried to explain. “There are some things going on…in Angel’s life that may take a while to figure out. So for now I’m going to be visiting him.”
“Oh,” Willow said, slightly disappointed.
Buffy smiled. “He’ll be here
eventually.”
Angel stared at one of the candles sitting around his
apartment. Its flickering flame was the only light in the darkened room.
All the shadows beyond the table the candle sat upon were harsh and deep.
One would never have guessed that upstairs sunlight flooded through the
window.
He sighed. The exhalation of air made the candle flame flicker and nearly die before springing to life once again. It was his breath that did that; his natural breath, not any unknown force.
Then what was it that put out the torches? Angel thought to himself. It wasn’t just chance that stopped those men from burning Buffy at the stake before I could rescue her. I know it wasn’t.
“The Phoenix is ruled by fire,” a familiar voice said from behind him. “In return…there are certain advantages.”
Angel nearly jumped, then spun to face the woman standing at the bottom of his stairs. “I couldn’t stop her. She just walked right in,” Cordelia said apologetically, running down behind her.
“It’s alright,” Angel said gently, staring at the woman. “I’ve been expecting her.”
Cordelia gave him an odd look, then went back up the stairs leaving the two of them alone.
For a long moment they neither moved nor spoke. At last, Angel stood and began turning on the lights. “You know,” he said with his back to her, “it’s rude to just read someone’s thoughts like that.”
“I’m sorry,” Jade said, sounding sincerely apologetic. “It’s nearly as easy for me to hear your thoughts as it is for me to hear your spoken words.”
The lights turned on, Angel turned to look at the white haired, ageless woman. He could not help his curiosity overcoming his distrust of her. “My thoughts in particular?” he asked.
Jade nodded.
“If you’re going to come in here unannounced,” Angel said after a moment, “you might at least take a seat.”
Jade entered the rest of the room nervously, as if uncertain her welcome was genuine. Rightly so, Angel mused, seeing as how she had worked with a man who had purposely stripped him of his memories and had tried to kill Buffy. Still, it was obvious that she knew much that Angel needed to know about his new situation. At the same time that he remembered Jade wielding a knife and cutting into his chest, he remembered that without her both he and Buffy would most likely be dead.
To say that Angel’s feelings about her were mixed would be an understatement.
As Jade sat on the couch, Angel wondered what his feelings about her would be at the end of the day. He really wanted to trust her…. “What were you saying when you came in here?”
“About fire?”
Angel nodded.
Jade sighed. “The Phoenix can be – and nearly always has been – destroyed by fire. In return, while it – you – are alive, you’ll have some minor control over it. When you’re fully trained.”
Angel wanted to ask her what minor control meant, or what her idea of fully trained was, but first things first. “Nearly always?”
“I told you – you broke the cycle.”
“Well, I was more than a bit tired when you told me,” Angel replied pointedly. “Tell me again.” Tell me how I became this ‘Phoenix,’ he added in his head.
“You didn’t become the Phoenix. It’s what you’ve always been,” Jade answered his thoughts. Angel glared at the intrusion, but she ignored him. “When you came of age, when you were ready, there should have been someone there to train you, to help the Phoenix come into power. There wasn’t, and instead you became a vampire.”
Angel sat back and took in what she was saying. He wasn’t sure he believed all of this, but he knew that he needed to hear it. “Someone like you should have been there,” he said, half questioning.
Jade nodded. “For the Phoenix, there has always been…a guide. Someone to help with the transition and to step in when help is most needed. Right now, I am that someone, yes.” She paused for just a second, having answered Angel’s unspoken question once again. “Like the Phoenix, that being is nearly immortal.”
Angel coughed in surprise. “What?!”
“Oh, we didn’t get to that yet?” Jade asked, but her eyes were amused.
“No, we didn’t,” Angel replied testily. And you know that full well.
The corner of Jade’s mouth twitched into a smile, but she didn’t comment on his thought for once. “Yes, well…. I said nearly immortal, anyway. The one that came before me was killed shortly before you should have come into your power, and by the time I came you were lost.”
“Became a vampire, you mean,” Angel said in understanding.
“Yes,” Jade acknowledged. “The Phoenix – its power, its spirit that you possess – was trapped. Even if it wasn’t, it could not be reborn again for nearly 500 years. The world lost a force for good and gained something terribly evil in exchange.”
Angel didn’t even comment on that. He knew what he’d been.
“So…that brings us to where we met at last,” Jade said. “It was a step in the right direction when you regained your soul, but I had no way of knowing whether – when you finally met a final death – whether the Phoenix would be reborn as it was in the past, or simply disappear. So, you see…when the time came, and the Phoenix had lived in you for 500 years, I had no choice but to force the rebirth. I worked with a man determined to see you dead anyway and saw that both you and the Phoenix were reborn…given a chance to start over.”
It was a bit too much for Angel to take in all at once; he’d have to sit and digest it all later. Well, at least it would be productive brooding… “500 years?” Angel asked in confusion.
Jade sighed. “It’s the life cycle of the Phoenix. At least, it was the life cycle. The spirit lives in someone – always male, in case you’re wondering – and becomes a…Warrior is the term you like?…for 500 years. When that time is passed it one way or another finds its death by fire and is reborn again in someone new.”
“But,” Angel pointed out, feeling a flash of triumph, “I wasn’t around for 500 years.”
Jade just looked at him. “How long were you in Hell, Angel?”
Angel swallowed. “I don’t know.”
“Exactly. The Phoenix was alive in you, dormant but there, for 500 years. Now, you’re both reborn, to live another 500. In your case, really live this time.”
“Unless I die first,” Angel muttered, beginning to understand.
“No Phoenix had ever died before the 500 years had passed before you did,” Jade said honestly. “Now, are you going to let me teach you what you can do, or do you want to repeat what happened the last time?”
Given the choice between life and death, Angel would easily pick life. He just wondered how his friends were going to react to this whole 500 years business.
Or…dear God….Buffy.
On to Part Three
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