Part Nine
“You’re leaving now, aren’t you?”
That was how Buffy greeted Angel the next day when he stopped by her home. It hurt her to say it, like a stone lodged in her stomach, and she could see the pain flash in Angel’s eyes. He’d gotten worse at hiding his emotions since his rebirth as the Phoenix. His pain hurt Buffy even more than her own…but right now it was necessary.
“I have to,” he said back softly. “Jade was right. My…duty is pulling at me.”
Buffy swallowed. “I know,” she replied. “Stay safe for me?”
Angel sat beside her on the couch. “Of course.”
She sighed and restrained herself from reaching out to touch him. “I wish I could go with you,” she whispered.
“Maybe someday…” Angel began to reply.
Buffy fought back a bitter chuckle. “I can’t,” she said miserably. “I can never leave home again.”
Angel looked at her, both alarmed and bewildered. “Don’t talk like that,” he said.
“It’s the truth,” Buffy said with a sigh. “Jade and I had a long talk earlier this morning.”
A dark look crossed Angel’s face.
“I trust her now,” Buffy tried to explain. “She’ll keep you safe, since I can’t.” She tried and failed to keep the misery out of her voice.
“What are you talking about?” Angel asked calmly, taking her hand in his.
She looked at their joined hands for a moment. “It turns out you don’t have to worry about the whole mortal-near-immortal thing,” she said sadly. “Jade says this happens sometimes to Slayers in the ‘right combination of events.’ I’m the Guardian of the Hellmouth now. As long as the Hellmouth here exists, I’ll exist.”
Angel gaped at her for a second. “This…. You’re not pleased?”
Buffy thought it odd that he asked that, he who’d always despised his own immortality. Perhaps he was still in the first stage she’d been in, stuck on the romantic idea of two immortals together. A romantic concept, yes, but impossible. “There’s a catch,” she said.
“Of course,” Angel replied with a touch of sarcasm.
“I’m tied to the Hellmouth,” she said. “Remember how I wasn’t healing? Injured, even this little distance from here to the Hellmouth was harming me.” She looked at him miserably. “So you see, I can never go with you.”
Angel slipped his arm around her shoulders, giving her a little squeeze.
“So I guess this is where we say goodbye,” Buffy concluded sadly.
“No,” Angel contradicted her. “This is where we say ‘until I return.’”
Buffy shook her head in denial of hope. “You can’t promise….”
“I can, and I do,” Angel replied.
“I won’t hold you back.”
“You could never hold me back.”
“Damn it, Angel!” Buffy cried. “I’m trying to set you free!”
Angel smiled at her. “I don’t want to be set free, Buffy,” he explained easily.
Buffy looked away from him. “You’re the Phoenix,” she said. “You’re…meant to fly away.”
She could feel a touch of amusement from Angel at her use of metaphor. “Even a Phoenix needs to have a nest somewhere,” he said in turn. “I want that to be with you.”
They did not kiss in the minutes that followed, nor did they say ‘goodbye’ when Jade arrived at the door to take Angel away.
“Until I return,” Angel said.
“I’ll be here,” Buffy replied. She looked at Jade seriously. “Take care of him.”
“I will,” Jade replied with a smile. “It’s my job, after all.”
Buffy stood watching as Jade ushered Angel from the house. Just short of leaving, the white-haired woman turned and smiled again. “The Phoenix and the Guardian are one,” she said, and it sounded like a promise.
Buffy was left staring at the closed door. Those final words had blossomed into some inexplicable hope within her. That hope, she knew in that moment, was sure to last her centuries.
The End...of this story
Continued in Soulmate
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