Buffy felt her strength returning quickly now that the battle was over. She was reluctant to leave Angel’s arms, but she had seen him fighting before. He had to be exhausted, but he said nothing as he carried her down the nighttime street. Both he and the strange woman who had left with them seemed very focused on their thoughts and neither said a word. It was Buffy who had to break the silence.
“Angel,” she whispered in his ear.
He looked at her, his eyes dark with thoughts she couldn’t decipher. “Hmm?”
“I think I can walk now,” Buffy said softly.
Angel looked at her closely before lowering her to her feet with a slow sigh. Holding her close, he waited until he was sure she was standing before releasing her. Buffy pulled away and took a couple of experimental steps on her own. Her legs were shaky, but they supported her weight. Angel held out his hands, ready to catch her.
“Are you all right?” he asked in concern.
Buffy nodded. “I will be,” she said, then stumbled and nearly fell again. Angel caught her instantly, supporting her on her feet. His warm, strong arms held her gently, taking enough of her weight that she at least felt like she was walking on her own but was no longer worried that she’d fall on her face. It was a tender, silent sort of understanding that was so typical of Angel before everything had gone wrong that it brought tears to her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” Angel asked softly. “Are you hurt?”
Buffy shook her head. “I’m alright.” If she’d been able to stand on her own, she would have pulled away. “It’s just…you save my life again…. You’ve been so kind…. I just want to thank you, but I don’t deserve everything you’ve done for me.”
“Yes, you do deserve it,” Angel said earnestly. He steadied her and helped her walk a couple of steps. “You deserve more than I could ever hope to give.”
Buffy felt a tear make its way down her cheek. “Angel…” she whispered pathetically.
Jade noticed the two of them were no longer walking with her and turned. She took one look at Buffy’s distraught expression and walked back to join them. “Do not fret, Guardian,” she said calmly.
Even through her tears and exhaustion, Buffy blinked at the white-haired woman. She didn’t trust her by a long shot, but without her they’d both be dead, so…. “What did you call me?”
Looking at her oddly, Jade shrugged. She always seemed to know more than she was saying. “It does not matter,” she said. “But there is no need for tears, either. He remembers.”
Buffy’s breath caught in her throat. “Angel?” she gasped.
He looked down at her with a small, sad smile. “It’s all right now,” he whispered.
“It’s not all right!” Buffy cried, knowing exactly what pain lurked behind her eyes now. “If it wasn’t for me…”
“I would still be existing instead of living,” Angel finished for her. “It wasn’t your fault, Buffy. What happened to me…it wasn’t your fault.”
“Angel…”
“Shh,” he replied, turning his supportive embrace into a hug. “I can’t explain it, but I don’t think anything you did or didn’t do that day at the police station could have changed what happened.”
Before Buffy could object again, Jade spoke quickly. “You are right,” she said to Angel. “It was meant for you to die that day, in that way.”
Buffy had enough. “What are you?” she demanded in exasperation.
Jade looked at Buffy so calmly it was infuriating. “My name is Jadwiga,” she said.
“I didn’t ask your name, I asked what you are,” Buffy pointed out. “You’re not human,” she said with certainty.
“I’m as human as either of you,” Jade retorted.
That statement was met with silence. Angel looked at the young-old woman seriously. “That’s not saying much, is it?” he asked softly.
Jade gave him a half smile. “No, that’s not saying much.”
“Hey!” Buffy exclaimed. “I’m human!”
“You’re the Slayer,” the mysterious woman replied as if that explained everything.
“Angel’s human,” Buffy continued.
Jade regarded him seriously, then looked back at Buffy. “I believe you’re beginning to have doubts on that now, too.”
Angel broke his silence at last. “I don’t understand,” he said yet again to her.
Jade looked at Angel then, ignoring Buffy’s questioning gaze. “I saw you fighting; you’ve discovered your full strength again. I said it before, but you were not exactly listening to me,” she said, sounding highly annoyed with him. “You’ve never been exactly human. If you had not become a vampire, you would have discovered that. You are finally back on the track you were meant to be on. Always, a warrior with a destiny.”
“But what…” Buffy faltered.
“Phoenix,” Angel said suddenly. Both of the women looked at him in surprise. “I heard you say that once,” he said to Jade. “When you…” he couldn’t finish the statement.
Buffy was officially completely lost. “What does that mean? And what the hell are you?” she demanded of Jade.
“I work for the Powers That Be.”
“Oh, that explains everything,” Buffy said sarcastically. “Like what you were doing working for someone that wanted to burn me at the stake.”
“It was the only way I could do what had to be done,” Jade said, though she did not seem as confident as before.
Angel had taken much of the evening’s – or, for that matter, the months’ – confusion in stride, but now it finally seemed to be getting to him. There was an odd, pained expression on his face and he held the arm that wasn’t supporting Buffy close across his chest. Buffy suddenly remembered the mostly healed scar from the time he was missing and knew that Jade had a lot to answer for. “Explain yourself,” Angel hissed.
Jade sighed. “The Phoenix is a warrior spirit, reborn every 500 years. That spirit exists within you. When you became a vampire, it disrupted the Phoenix’s cycle of rebirth. When you were captured and forced to meet the sunlight, that was my chance to set things right again. Death by fire, and the Phoenix lives again for another 500 years.”
Silence met her explanation once again. Buffy looked at her in shock, then looked at Angel. He seemed to be faring little better. After a stunned moment, he shook his head tiredly. “This is too much for one day,” he said slowly. “I’m exhausted; I assume you can explain everything I need to know…later.”
“I will be nearby when you are ready,” Jade said. She stepped back from the two of them. As Angel supported Buffy for a couple more awkward steps, Jade turned to leave them behind. Just short of disappearing into the night, she turned to face them once again. This time her eyes locked with Buffy’s. “Do not worry, Guardian,” she said strongly. “If your love is meant to be, it will be, no matter what may come between you.” With that, she disappeared into the night.
Angel and Buffy stood silently after she had gone. They had a ways to go before they could rest and they were both exhausted and overwhelmed. “Come on,” Angel said softly, shifting his grip on Buffy. He supported her carefully as they continued on their way down the street.
“Angel,” Buffy whispered. “About what happened… About what she said…”
He stopped and looked at Buffy gently. “I love you,” he said simply.
“But…” Buffy protested.
“Buffy,” Angel said gently,
“I told you I could never hate you. Even when I didn’t know,
I knew. I love you, always.” The last word was a whisper, and
it brought tears to Buffy’s eyes. “Now let’s get off these streets,”
he said at last.
“No, Mr. Summers, I haven’t heard from Buffy,” Cordelia
said wearily, looking at the clock next to the phone. It read one
a.m. “No, I don’t know where she is.” What in the world was
he doing calling at one a.m.? Oh yeah, the same thing she was doing
answering the phone in the office at one a.m. “She
went out to dinner with Angel…. No, he’s not back yet, either….
Mr. Summers, I already checked. I promise I’ll call you as soon as
either of them show up…. Yeah, bye.”
Cordelia hung up the phone slowly. Finally she let the frustration she’d hid on the phone out to play. “Where the hell are they?” she yelled.
Wesley rubbed his eyes and looked at her wearily. “You don’t know. I don’t know. No one knows. Remember?”
Cordelia sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just worried about Angel, you know? I don’t want to lose him for good this time.” She paused and then looked at Wesley in wide-eyed panic. “Oh god, Wes! What if they ran into cop lady and she decided to kill him for good this time? Or, I mean, Angel doesn’t remember anything. What if they ran into a demon and…?”
Wesley looked at her wearily. “Why not throw in Wolfram and Hart while you’re at it?” he muttered.
“Oh no, what if they ran into one of those lawyers from Wolfram and Hart?”
Wesley felt an urge to hit his head on the desk a couple of times. It was far too late at night for this. No, wait, make that too early in the morning. He thought the bizarre early mornings with no sleep had stopped when Angel had stopped being a vampire. So much for that theory.
“Listen,” Wesley said wearily. “Buffy’s the Slayer. I’m sure she can take care of anything they might ‘run into.’”
“But Wesley,” Cordelia protested, “weren’t you the one who insisted that Angel stay out of sight in case something happened….just like this!”
“Yes, but…” Wesley started.
The front door opened noisily, interrupting him. Both Wesley and Cordelia were on their feet instantaneously to see the missing pair come in. Buffy and Angel were clearly exhausted, leaning on each other. They were disheveled, bruised, and stained with soot…and grinning from ear to ear. Neither Wesley nor Cordelia could find the words to say anything at their entrance.
Stepping just inside the office doorway, Buffy and Angel met Cordelia and Wesley’s surprised and concerned gazes. “You didn’t have to wait up,” Angel said, sounding amused.
Cordelia had enough. “Where the hell have you two been? What happened to you?”
“It’s so nice that you’re concerned,” Buffy said a touch sarcastically.
“Well, pardon me,” Wesley said, “but the two of you do look rather…awful.”
“Yeah, well, we’re both alive so you might call in an improvement,” Angel said.
Buffy caught Cordelia and Wesley’s surprised looks, so she said quickly, “We were captured, I was almost burned at the stake, Angel saved me, we defeated the bad guys. Oh, and Angel has his memories back. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve been drugged, Angel’s exhausted, and we both just want to sleep.” With that, she and Angel walked…or staggered, actually…towards the elevator.
“Angel!” Cordelia said in exasperation.
As he closed the elevator, Angel gave Cordelia a tired smile. “Tomorrow,” he said briefly as the elevator began to descend.
Cordelia just stood there staring at the elevator shaft well after Angel and Buffy had disappeared. “So that’s it?” she demanded finally. “Buffy’s going to spend the night…morning? Like a lot of sleeping is going to get done down there…”
Wesley sighed. “They both look exhausted,” he said.
“Oh, totally,” Cordelia agreed.
“I’m sure what you’re suggesting is absolutely ridiculous.”
“Sure it is,” she replied with only a trace of sarcasm.
“Come on,” Wesley said at last, picking up his jacket and heading for the door. “Why don’t we at least get some sleep…this morning.”
Cordelia followed him a second later. “Do you think we’ll ever find out exactly what happened tonight?”
“There’s always tomorrow,” Wesley said.
“Yeah,” Cordelia agreed, though she didn’t sound so sure. “Tomorrow.”
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