Part Three
When the phone rang at 3:46 in the morning, Willow did not hesitate to answer it. Living on the Hellmouth, she had quickly learned that late night calls could easily mean terrible emergencies. She was not expecting a best friend in absolute tears, however. She was crying so hard that it was nearly impossible to understand what she was saying.
“I hate it!” Buffy yelled – one of the first coherent things she’d said since Willow had picked up the phone. “I love him, and I hate it!”
“Ssh,” Willow said gently. “You’re not making much sense, Buffy.”
Buffy sobbed. “I can’t do this, Willow. I can’t.”
“Calm down,” Willow tried. “Tell me what happened.”
“Angel...” Buffy managed between breaths, obviously fighting to stop her tears.
“What about Angel?” Willow asked quickly. “Did something happen to him?”
Buffy swallowed hard. “Happen to him? No....”
“Then what is it? Come on, tell me what happened.”
Buffy let out a long, shaky sigh. “He’s gone,” she finally managed. “He left.”
“Left?” Willow asked in surprise. “Oh. But...he just got back.”
Buffy sniffled. “Doesn’t matter, apparently.”
“Oh, Buffy...”
“I can’t keep doing this!” Buffy cried, her voice cracking. “I can’t keep waiting for him.”
Willow was shocked at Buffy’s words. “You don’t mean...?”
“No!” Buffy protested. “I love him. I want to be with him. Don’t you understand? I want him here with me, or me with him, but I can’t go anywhere! I’m stuck, forever...no change, nothing new...new places, new life.... And he....” She suppressed another sob. “Willow, I’m terrified. I’m terrified that he won’t be back. That this is going to keep driving him...driving him away...running his life until there’s nothing left!”
Willow’s heart went out to her friend. “Do you...want me to come over there?”
Buffy sighed. “Willow...”
“I’m coming over there,” Willow clarified.
“No,” Buffy said, sounding exhausted now that her tears were done. “You...have school tomorrow and I shouldn’t have called you.”
“Of course you should have called me!” Willow said. “I’m your friend. This is what I’m here for.”
“I interrupted your sleep,” Buffy said weakly.
“So what?” Willow said. “Besides, you’ve got to be at school tomorrow, too.”
“I know,” Buffy replied. “My first appointment is bright and early.”
Willow did not bother to ask how Buffy could be an effective student advisor when her own life was such a mess. “Buffy....”
“No, Willow, get some sleep,” she said. “I’m...going to try to as well. I should be used to sleeping alone by now, right?”
“Don’t do this to yourself,” Willow tried.
Buffy sighed again. “Goodnight, Willow,” she said, and hung up the phone.
Willow did not hesitate. She dressed quickly, grabbed a bag of chocolates she kept tucked away for when she felt miserable, her car keys, and headed out the door.
She froze abruptly. Standing on her front step was a very familiar white-haired woman of uncertain age. She looked just as exhausted as Willow felt and Buffy had sounded.
Jade’s tone, however, was direct and to the point.
“We need to talk.”
For all of her business-like tone at the door, Jade was reluctant to actually speak about what she’d come there to speak about. The coffee had gotten cold and Willow was yawning before the strange woman actually said anything.
Jade took a long sip of her coffee, grimaced, and put it aside. “This is getting out of control,” she said.
Willow didn’t need to ask what she was referring to. “Getting?” she said. “You didn’t hear Buffy one the phone before you got here.”
The older woman looked up at Willow and sighed. “Okay, it’s gone,” she agreed wearily. “Gone completely out of control. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, you know.”
Willow just looked at her. “It isn’t?”
Jade shook her head. “The rising of a Guardian is a rare event,” she said. “But they come from Slayers. Dedicated, powerful, long-lived Slayers. And Slayers don’t usually have the sort of lives where being tied to a location means this sort of....”
“Anguish?” Willow suggested.
Jade flinched. “Not quite the word I was going for,” she said.
“It’s the truth.”
“Yes,” she agreed. “The...typical Slayer is by nature isolated. To become the Guardian is to continue their task indefinitely, without the constant fear of death. It has been considered a blessing.”
“Yeah, well, Buffy’s not the typical Slayer,” Willow defended her friend.
“No, she is not.” Jade leaned back in her chair. “She has friends that she cares for very much....”
“She’s not really the problem, though,” Willow said. “I mean, she’s part of it, but she’s not the one ‘out of control.’”
“Not at all. She’s almost too in control,” Jade said. She looked at Willow with pure exhaustion showing in her eyes. “I suppose I have only myself to blame.”
“For Angel,” Willow finished.
Jade nodded. “He is not like any other Phoenix I have heard of,” she said. “I was so determined to make him like those that came before....”
“He’s unique,” Willow said.
“He is,” Jade agreed. “When I first started working with him, I was so frustrated. He’s not at all a cooperative student. And here I was supposed to be teaching him all about the abilities he possesses, and he was stuck in the ‘kill the bad thing’ method of demon hunting.”
Willow smiled slightly.
“I am afraid I may have done him more harm than good in introducing him to his Calling,” she finished softly.
“What...?” Willow asked. “I mean, that’s how he knows where he’s needed, right?”
Jade nodded. She brushed a strand of white hair behind her ear. “He...already had a strong sense of duty I did not take into account,” she explained. “With the Calling on top of it...I am afraid there is little left to keep him grounded.”
“Oh.”
“Like I said – it is not supposed to be this way,” she continued. “I had some hope that his ties to the Guardian and thus to the Hellmouth would help, but....”
“But it hasn’t.”
“It hasn’t.” Jade hung her head. “I can barely keep up with him anymore. By the time I reach a place – like here – he has already left! How am I supposed to help him like that?”
Willow swallowed and looked at the older, wiser woman helplessly. “I don’t know,” she said. “If I did... Why did you come to me, anyway?”
Jade raised her head to look at the young witch once again. “I had hoped...” She trailed off, then began again. “You know both of them far better than I. And you have access to different sources than I do.”
Willow blinked at her. “Don’t you have access to, like, the Powers?”
“They do not concern themselves with such things,” Jade said. “Emotional matters...are rather beyond them so long as their chosen few perform their appointed tasks.”
That was a quite disheartening point of view. “I don’t know what to say,” Willow began.
“Well,” Jade sighed, “perhaps it was too much to hope for.” She rose from the couch.
“No!” Willow said quickly. “I mean, just because I don’t have an idea off the top of my head doesn’t mean I’m giving up!”
Jade looked at her for a moment. “You mean that?”
Willow nodded eagerly. “Do you really think that we could do something?” she asked. “I hate to see them so miserable.”
“So do I,” Jade agreed. “And I don’t know if anything can be done. But...you will help me try?”
Willow smiled tiredly. “Could you meet me at the magic shop tomorrow evening?”
“I suppose. Why?”
“Giles gathered a small collection of Phoenix lore once he found out about Angel,” she said. “I thought...if we had no where else to start...we could start there.”
Jade smiled, seeming far more pleased than when she came in. “I was right to come to you,” she said. “Tomorrow, then.” And with those parting words the strange woman left Willow alone in her living room.
Willow sighed and leaned back into her chair. Almost five o’clock in the morning. Should she bother even going back to bed or not?
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