by Cynamin
Part Seven
"Okay,
let's take a look at you."
Angel
removed his shirt, revealing stark white bandages around his torso. "I
could do this myself, you know," he said as Buffy began to undo the tape.
She
smiled up at him. "I like taking care of you."
He
couldn't help but smile back. "I like having you take care of me," he
admitted.
"There."
She unwound the last of the bandages. Gently, she touched the healing wound on
his stomach. "Does that hurt?"
Angel
winced slightly. "It's…still a bit tender," he admitted.
Buffy
frowned. "Well," she said, sitting up straight, "I don't think
you need the bandages again. Hard to believe you were…hurt as badly as you
were less than a week ago."
Though
she did her best to hide it, Angel could hear a trace of fear still in her
voice. "One advantage of not being entirely human," he said, trying to
make light of the situation.
Buffy
was not in the mood to be cheered in such a way. She leaned against Angel's
shoulder. "It would be easier," she said softly.
"What
would?"
"Being
normal," Buffy said. "Being human."
Angel
entertained the idea for a moment, then shook his head. "We'd both be dead
several times over," he said, his hand pressed lightly to the sore area of
his abdomen. "Besides, if we were normal, we wouldn't be who we are."
She
blinked up at him. "Are you trying to tell me that who we are and what we
are is the same thing?" she asked in disbelief.
"Not
the same," Angel argued. "Just connected." He turned slightly to
look Buffy in the eye. "If Jade's right, I've never been completely human,
even before I was a vampire. And you, Buffy, if you had never been the
Slayer…"
Buffy
winced and chuckled. "Ok, let's just not go there."
Angel
smiled, remembering a newly called Slayer, radiant in the sunlight.
"Besides," he added, "if we'd been normal, we never would have
even met." That he would have died two centuries before she was even born
was left unspoken but clearly understood.
Buffy
got his point without question. "So you're saying we should be glad for
what we are," she said, a touch of bitterness coloring her tone.
"I
know I am at the moment," Angel replied, his touch drawing attention to his
nearly healed wound once again.
Buffy
trembled slightly. "That was way too close," she said, placing her
hand over his.
Angel
nodded. For a long moment he said nothing, then kissed her lightly on the
forehead. "I wouldn't change anything," he whispered truthfully. Being
normal might make now easier, but that was impossible. He might not have
everything he wanted, and things might not be perfect, but what he had he
refused to let go of.
He felt
her relax, and she leaned into his shoulder again. "I wouldn't change
anything, either."
And
that, at least, was exactly how it should be.
They
appeared in the doorway like two severely mismatched sisters. Red hair and
white; young and hopeful side by side with ageless and desperate. All that
matched were their facial expressions: determined, slightly nervous, and a touch
eager. They came with one and the same purpose.
"We
think we have a solution."
Angel
blinked at them both. Willow grinned. Jade gave a brief nod at the question in
his gaze.
"Come
in," he said at last.
They
filed in without a word and Angel closed the door behind them.
Buffy
stood impatiently in the living room. "You'd better have good news,"
she said the moment the door clicked shut.
Willow
swallowed visibly. "I'm not sure," she admitted.
Angel
tried not to show how desperate he, too, was as he stood supportively next to
Buffy. "What do you mean?"
Jade
took it upon herself to sit on the couch, and everyone else followed her lead.
No one was relaxed as they sat, however. "We have a possible
solution," she said calmly. "We just don't know if it's one that
you'll wish to take."
"Or
that it'll work," Willow joined in.
Jade did
not comment.
Buffy
grasped Angel's hand and squeezed it slightly. "What is it? Come on, the
suspense is killing me."
Angel
knew the feeling, and it wasn't just the suspense of this exact moment that had
him waiting so tensely. He felt like he'd been waiting for possibility his
entire existence.
Jade
pursed her lips slightly before answering. "I guess there's no subtle way
to lead into this," she said. "You two, what you are, are such a huge
contrast to one another. Willow was actually the one who led us from that to a
possible solution. It is our idea to…bind the two together and hope that they
balance each other out to some degree."
Buffy
gasped. "Is it possible to do that?"
"Possible,
maybe. Complicated…" she paused. "And there are drawbacks."
Buffy
leaned back slightly, and Angel could practically feel her frown. "There's
always a drawback."
Jade
nodded a bit sadly. "It would require…magically binding you two
together…on some level, both what you are and who you are. And who you are
*to* what you are." She stopped, apparently noticing the uncomprehending
looks she was receiving. "I said it was complicated."
"What
does that mean for us?" Angel asked. "Binding?"
"No
mind reading or anything, "Willow piped up. "Though, that would be
cool. You'd probably be more aware of each other…where you are, how you
are…. We're paying more attention to linking the Phoenix and the Guardian
together."
"The
Phoenix and the Guardian are one," Angel quoted from memory.
Jade
nodded. "We hope, though we can not guarantee, that it would have a
moderating effect on your two extremes. But…there are other concerns here.
When I say binding, I also mean binding in that there is no way out of this once
it has been done. Not even death."
Angel
and Buffy's alarm at this statement must have been obvious, for Jade held up her
hands to keep them from interrupting and continued. "This does not change
your life spans. The Phoenix still lives 500 years, and the Guardian still
exists as long as the Hellmouth exists. But if you go through with this, and are
bound, as long as Buffy is the Guardian, no matter how many times the Phoenix is
reborn, he will be Angel. In some way. Angel will be linked to the Phoenix, and
the Phoenix will be linked to the Guardian. He will be reborn with the Phoenix,
and he will be drawn to you."
Angel's
head was spinning with the possibilities she was presenting, but even so he
could not stop from muttering in thought, "Reincarnation."
Jade
nodded. "Essentially. And should the Hellmouth be closed and Buffy die
while the Phoenix still lives, the same shall be true for her. Until you both
die at once. But what exactly will happen in the future - how much of yourselves
will remain - I have no idea. Honestly, I have no idea whether this will even
work. So you see, there is a lot to weigh here before you answer. But I can not
tell you which way to choose."
Neither
Angel nor Buffy was quick to respond. On one hand, Angel had been harboring a
secret fear of leaving Buffy alone. She was destined to long outlive all of her
friends, and he knew she was terrified of being the only one left once he too
was gone. And he could happily imagine eternity by her side - he had no better
idea of heaven. But some part of him shied away from the broader idea, to bind
himself not just to her but to the Phoenix…to have no lifetime without rest…
It may have been no less than he deserved, but he could not just jump into a
decision. Selfish, perhaps, but wasn't another 500 years as a Warrior enough?
Besides, there was no guarantee that Buffy would want such a thing - him,
forever. He couldn't just thrust such an unbreakable bond on her.
Buffy
said not a word, her thoughts completely inscrutable.
"Uh,
there's something else," Willow said a bit hesitantly when the silence got
too long.
Angel
looked at her intently. Wasn't what Jade had revealed thus far enough for
complications?
"I just want you to know everything you could be getting into," she said, oddly nervous. "This binding…there's something else to think about." She took a deep breath. "It's a magical variation on a wedding ceremony."
On to Part Eight
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