copyright sage trip 1999 |
Idea for a film: The story of a rock n roll band in the late 1960’s touring the west coast of America by bus. They stop in at a lot of libraries and use the bus ride as an opportunity to visit their mothers. Working title: The Titanic. |
THE STICKY YELLOW NOTES THAT SHOCKED HOLLYWOOD
On June 8, 1999 Australian ideas man, Danny Bird was found dead on a sidewalk in downtown Hollywood. He’d been shot seventeen times in the head.
Over the coming days, as Police investigators struggled to piece together the puzzle that had culminated in his murder, they were aided by a blood-splattered bundle of sticky yellow notes stashed in Danny’s left shoe… notes that were to become known as THE STICKY YELLOW NOTES THAT SHOCKED HOLLYWOOD.
Some extracts are produced here with the kind permisson of Danny’s mother. In some places, names and colours have been changed to protect the innocent and produce a more aesthetically pleasing overall design.
Arrived in Hollywood at last! Already I’ve met Spielberg! Nathan Spielberg is a film student who plans on making B-grade slap-stick pornography so he can "fuck some horney bitches!" He’s kind of an idiot. |
Film idea: A man is hired to assassinate the president. He makes short work of it but on the way to lunch gets involved in a punch up with a mime. Working Title: Hamlet Part II. |
Space Film: Space ships take off on a seemingly boring mission to colleect rock samples from Jupiter. Crew are placed in suspended animation for the journey. When they wake they find they are a bit stiff but otherwise okay. Rock collecting goes well. title: "1984" |
| He was a cop. She was a Hooker. He busted her. She got him kicked off the Force for Corruption. Their putting themselves through night law school. And their putting their teachers through hell! 7:30 pm weeknights in: Lawyers We Aint! |
Film Idea: "Punch Line" – a not-so-funny stand-up comedienne uses violence to supress hecklers until she is arrested on obscenity charges for improper pronunciation of the philosopher Emmanuel Kant. |
| First They Shot Each Other Then They Fell in Love The Funny Farm Romance Thriller with a Twist: Soldiers We Aint! (altern' title:: "Headcases we aint!" and "Headcases that’s us!") |
The Lover’s Guide to Siberia – heart wrenching quest for a warm interior in an inhospitable land: Badly mumbled English with English subtitles.
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| idea for a film premise: crazed chauffeur has had about as much as he can take!!! working title: "Driving Over Miss Daisy"
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| Bumper sticker Idea: Honk If You Are Guilty |
Film Idea: "The trees that knew too much." Mafia guy kills informant in woods. Grows paranoid that the trees were watching at the time and begins shooting trees randomly and with tremendous malice until he is killed by a falling branch. Irony Lovers Classic. |
"The Truth About Hollywood!!" – Documentary style expose of hard-working movie makers and their families. |
Personal note: If you love something set it free. If you don’t love something then at least loosen the hand-cuffs once in a while. |
| "Weary and Dunce-Cap" Two Aussie Battlers on the wrong side of the law putting themselves through secretarial college by day and dancing at Exotica’s Reef n beef grill bar by night in Secretaries We Aint! The Comedy Romance Thriller with a Tiwst!* (* Weary is a woman, who is dressed up as an aussie battler because her father didn’t want a daughter, he always wanted an aussie battler) |
| film idea: premise: two cops.. partners.. one of them, in fact both of them, isn't black. also neither of them is a stickler for protocol. And the crazy one - well neither of them is crazy. and neither of them is particularly new to the force either and retirement, in both cases, is yeeeeears away. |
| film idea: a man has been in jail for twenty years for a crime he did commit. he's fundamentally a nice man, but he's very keen to get back into criminal work. all of his friends on the outside however, don't want him to... they keep dropping in at his house and saying "come on bernie... come with us bernie... it won't take long.. we just need your help doing some community service and helping out the local poor..." |
| Stodge, ‘Maxi’ and Hammett,
in: Astronauts we Aint! A crazy book keeper a nutcase computer technician and a straight laced sub-manager: They put their bosses in a spin... so their bosses put them in orbit!! They’re out a luck and outa this world...in… Astronauts we Aint! (previously released as 2010 A Space Odyssey) |
‘Real Parents: Real SEX!’ – candid footage of forty-something parent-couples engaged in genuine marital congress. Distribute to high schools/colleges to scare teenagers away from all sexual activity. |
| film idea:a girl and a guy who really like each other, so they start a relationship, then they get married and have kids. they take the first born baby to the doctor to get tested for some particularly rare and evil diseases which could steal the babies life just like that. The doctor reassures them that they're being paranoid, performs the test, and, of course, the baby doesn't have the disease. they were just worrying over nothing. Phew. |
Idea for a blurb: "They’re above the law and below the ground! in: Sewer Walking Corrupt Politicians!" |
| blurb idea: Squinty & Rex. After Forty Years on the force and Four Thousand Arrests... No Corrupt Police Chief Can Tell Squinty and Rex to Hand in their Badges!! Squinty and Rex in... Retired We Aint! A Squinty and Rex Film starring Hans Van Den Hope as Rex and Introducing Sir Duddley Scott as Squinty. |
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"Til Death Do We Analyze" – A husband and wife psychiatrist team – and man are they funny!
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| documentary: School Principals Who Dress As Polar Bears! Exclusive Expose! Grizzly McAndrews Secret Confession! |
| Film title ideas: * It Was Staring Us Right In The Face All Along * The Dog Parade * Ginger The Ninja. * Babies From Hell * Phroopsy’s Outdoor Cookin Show. |
Film Idea: A dying man’s last word is simply "bud". The riddles of his life are soon sorted out but it takes the entire three hour epic to smoke through his personal stash. Working title: "Citizen Kone." |
| blurb idea: "You added up the numbers. but you didn’t carry the one. And it’s time to die, mister." --Gomez.(Mathematician. Murderer. Maniac.) starring in |
| Hollywood! This is the place! Forget Paris! Forget Amsterdam! Just yesterday I fell asleep in a café and while I slept a dozen famous people walked past. I was woken by a dog pissing on my shoe.
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copyright sage trip 1999 |
