Hmm... My story is hard to tell and I will change the names myself. I was raped by a freind I had known for years at a party that he held. His friend got me and my best friend, Rose so drunk that we could barely walk. In fact we crawled to the bedroom where HE was sleeping. HE told Rose and I that we would be safe in here from all the boys at the party and he would look after us. We both passed out within minutes of laying down. When I woke up HE was on top of me telling me how much he loved me and how much I liked this and how wet I was. I wanted to vomit but I could not move. I was a dead body drifting in and out of consciousness not really even comprehending what was going on. I passed out and woke up feeling dirty. Somehow I made it to the bathroom and took a shower and sat in there for an hour. I didn t even fully realize what had happened and I felt like I was in a daze. I didn t want to leave Rose in there with HIM but any attempts to move her failed. HE had rolled away from us and I crawled back in next to Rose and put my arm over her so that HE couldn t get her. (I wasn t thinking very well at the time) All I wanted to do was sleep. I passed out again. Next time I woke up HE had pulled my pants down and had entered me by rolling me on my side so that he wouldn t wake me up? I tried to move and ended up face down in my pillow. I passed out again. HE tried a few different positions while I passed in and out of my drunken coma like state but it was a bit hard since I didn t move at all. I remember coming to sitting on top of him flopped over his chest while he unsuccessfully tried to get me to move. He had put me over his shoulder, penetrated me and rolled me on to the top of him. I wish I had vomited all that alcohol they had pumped in to us right there and then. HE is a big boy, captain of the football team etc etc. When I woke up the next morning he had kicked Rose out of the bedroom and told me that we made love all night and that I had come on to him the minute that I hopped in his bed. I had a boyfriend I had been with for over a year and I was in love it with him and my mind was very fuzzy due to the headache that was beating away on my head. He asked me to kiss him which I did(a peck on the lips) as it had not registered with me yet. He kept telling me he couldn t believe I had let him do those things to me. I asked him to get Rose for me because I didn t feel well. He stormed out of the room and she came in . I asked her if she had heard anything (surely my orgasms while we MADE LOVE Would of woken her up). She looked at the floor and said that she had heard nothing all night but that he had kicked our friend we had bought with us, Bonnie, out of the room when she had drunkenly burst in to the room also looking for a place to crash out. She had no idea what he had been doing but he freaked out. We had been in that room 15 minutes. Didn t take him long. What really gives me the shits, is that the Fucking bastard had the nerve to try and talk me in to HIS story, obviously hoping that I wouldn t remember a thing. He told me we were kissing and touching each other and that I snuggled into his chest. I Know that I did NOT kiss him even once. I may have rolled over(Mind you I had been living with my man for over a year and snuggled up to him every night so I may have dome this with out realizing) but still that doesn t mean a thing. I could hardly walk the next day, and could not face my boyfriend, Steve. When I arrived home he was asleep wrapped around my pillow and for the first time it really hit me what had happened. I cried. I decided not to tell him. He already didn t like HIM in the first place and had told me to look after myself. I confronted HIM and told him what I now remembered. He said he never would hurt me and he loved me. BLAH BLAH. I didn t want to hear it I told him I knew what I remembered and he could cling to his pathetic story, all he wanted because it made no sense. He freaked out and hung up on me. Slowly I pieced some of that night together. If you were going to make love, as he puts it, would you want her best friend next to her? Why did NO ONE hear a thing? I don t know anyone that really MAKES LOVE in complete silence. I went to the doctors and she had to examine me. I cried the entire time. She did some tests and told me that I had a very nasty vaginal infection. She knew the circumstances and told me that he must of been having intercourse with me for quite some time because I had nasty abrasions in and out. I had to pay a lot of money for medication (That I really did not have) and still feel the effects to this day. Some nights I sob in to my pillow. He will never know what he has done to my life. Then just to Fuck my life up a bit more a few weeks later Rose came in to see me at work and told me that she needed to talk to me and I would never believe what HE had done now. HE had not taken it well when I said that I didn t want a thing to do with him (This was about 4 weeks later) Rose informed me that he had been calling people that were at the party trying to see if I had said anything or if they knew anything. He had called her and she had fucked him off saying she heard nothing bit also adding that shouldn t she have? He then told her that he had just called Steve because he thought that he should know. When she told me that I felt sick to my stomach. Rose had asked why he had done it and he said it was so I would'nt get in to trouble. Yeah the way HE tells it was going to get me in the good books. He and Steve had never liked each other so it wasn t like they were mates. I got the nerve to call Steve and he told me what Sean had said. HE fucked up. Steve lost it and questioned him and he ended up pretty much doing himself in. He told Steve he was sorry but he had loved me for years and I had rubbed up against him so he couldn t help himself. And then he asked Steve what guy wouldn t of taken the opportunity? When I came home that night I cried and Steve and I had a big bubble bath while I cried and he listened. I love him more than anything. We are still together. Sometimes he says things without thinking that I take the wrong way and due to myself esteem practically all disappearing, I hurt. I cry myself to sleep most nights but he doesn t know that. I hope that anyone that understands what I have been through or has had a similar experience will feel free to email me! I wish you all the love you need to get through your pain to survive. It is hard but in the end you can win. Thanks for listening. It helps to let it out. Stay as Beautiful as you all really are.
Love ya Nik