One of my current places of employment is the Library Computer Commons at Washtenaw Community College.
Here are a few quotes from my loverly co-workers:
 Me and Juliet We took the red pill... |
Ladi: "I'm the next best Juliet." Juliet: (To security, after pressing alarm under desk) "Just get down on your knees and take care of it." Dan: "I got a techno mix with Spongebob in it." Juliet: "I'm in the back room grabbing some cherry." Carol: "I AM the bitch around here." Nan: "When did I become a grumpy old lady?" |
|
Aimee: "I'm going to go pop a carrot in the mouth." Dan: "I'm an old playa." (talking about trip to Chicago) Juliet: (Cleaning, yelling down to reference area) "DO YOU HAVE ANY ALCOHOL?" Carol: "I can take it off with just one finger....AH that's better. Now I can hang loose." (about taking off her bra) Dan: "You have to screw it in harder." (instructions to Azimi about fixing a lab chair) Juliet: "My leg is all wet....I hope it doesn't get crusty." (After spilling pop on herself 6/24/03) Aimee: "I had to go in the back....my cheeks hurt." Dan: "I am S-LICK like that." (talking about adventurous Chicago trip) Carol: "Juliet, you didn't say anything! And I'm wearing my snowflake snowman turtleneck shirt." Aimee: "I'm going to pop a raisin." Carol: "It rubbed me wrong." (setting off the desk alarm) |
* NOW ONSALE AT BALLOONS and BOOKS!  Only $9.99 with the purchase of a $25.00 bookmark! |
|
Ladi: (Looking at a woman walk by the desk) "What BIG eyes; she has really pretty eyes." Dan: "Those aren't her eyes." Juliet: (To Carol) "You'd make me wet." (6/25/03) Carol: "My mind is always in the gutter." (6/25/03) Juliet: (To Dan) "I can get you some HOT Hungarian sausage." (7/1/03) Wasurat: (shrugging) "I'm just not a really funny guy." (7/3/03) Carol: (to Azimi) "Hi Aimee." Azimi: "What? Carol: "Hi Aimee." Azimi: "What? What is this? I am Azimi only." Carol: "Then why does your name tag say 'Aimee?'" |
Carol: (To Juliet) "I'm about to smack you." Juliet: "Don't worry, I'm just using you for leverage." (6/25/03) Nan's e-mail: nan@bangping.net Dan: "Juliet's got an nooner interview at the counter." Juliet: "I'm so excited!" Dan: "You're flexible, right?" Juliet: "Yeah. I told her. Very." (7/2/03) Juliet: "Man, my knuckles hurt from what Dan made me do last time." (7/2/03) Juliet: "What's a looner?" (7/2/03) Juliet: "It's long and hard." (about an online sex test) (7/2/03) |
|
|
Juliet: "I hired a new personal trainer. He had worked me hard. It was painful. But he didn't stretch me out enough so I had to do it in Dan's office." (7/2/03) Juliet: (to Dan, before his statistics test) "Good luck on your test. Is it an oral test?" Dan: "No, Juliet, it's not an oral test. Do you like oral tests?" Juliet: "No, Dan. Ha Ha Ha." Aimee: "No, girl, you do it to yourself." Juliet: (to Carol) "I am NOT BLOWING YOU...off." (7/9/03) Aimee: (about the printer cartridges, to Juliet) "So you just pop it out and put it back in?" Juliet: "Well first you have to grab it with both hands and shake it back and forth real hard." (7/14/03) Juliet: "The hotel I work in is nice. It has a fridge, a microwave, and it's furnished." Dan: "I would hope a hotel is furnished. I'm not bringing my own." (7/14/03) Dan: "Me and Sasha had SuSE in the back one time." (7/18/03) Azimi: "Ha. I know your passwords. I see you keystrokes." (8/8/03) Juliet (eating pistachios): "Hey Aimee- I brought some nuts. Would you like some of my salty nuts? They fit in your mouth." Aimee: (shakes her head) Juliet: "They're really good- lots of protein. I'll even crack them for you and make my nuts nice and soft." Aimee: "No." Juliet: "OH- I know. You like the chocolate covered ones, don't you?" Aimee: "NO." Juliet:"Sometimes they have an aftertaste. But if you swallow the nuts with lots of saliva, it'll go down good." Aimee: "NO!" Juliet: "Once I got my tongue stuck in between a couple of nuts. But -ew! (spits) I hate old nuts. Especially ones with hair on them. I mean fuzz. I hate rotten nuts. They smell too." Aimee: (Aimee leaves) (9/8/03) Greg: "YES! I just answered 3 questions in 10 seconds! I AM the Ultimate Help Desk Guy!" (9/30/03) (Scene: 6:30pm, phone rings) Juliet: "Good morning, LRC computer commons." |