Unrequited Love


Some people say unrequited love is the most tragic of all tragedies -- love given but not returned is a tragedy. But think on the other side: can't we view it as a good lesson of experience?

When I was in summer camp, I fell hopelessly in love (or had a crush?) with a boy named Spencer. He was good-looking, charming and intelligent -- he did play pranks but was pretty reasonable, he was the head of the "cool" group in the camp.

He was pretty good to me, chatted with me, talked to me and so on. But I was devastated to discover that...he had a girlfriend. A serious girlfriend. So I, naturally, was not in the consideration part for the post of "girlfriend".

I couldn't sleep at nights, and tossed and turned in my bed, thinking about him, and me, and his girlfriend. In days, he flirted and talked to me, which made my pain more. After all, having someone you love flirt with you while "belonging" to someone else was a pain which could strike at your heart...

After the camp ended, I went home, thinking about every single moment we'd spent together. My ICQs went unreturned, my AIMs were ignored...and I totally lost contact with him. For a time I put his picture on my desktop, and put his photo in my wallet.

But soon I realized I was being stupid. I was mooning about a boy whom I'd been with less than a month. I was making my own friends bored by talking about him incessantly each day. For a time I was plunged into a well of despair. I wanted to climb out, but...it seemed so deep.

Then I read an article about "Unrequited Love" and lightening struck. It occured to me what I'd done wrong: I was looking for something that wasn't mine. And when I didn't get it, I felt despair. And I was wallowing in that despair until it was going to choke me. That was such a stupid thing to do...

So I decided to put Spencer into my memories. A lot of my life still has his shadow in it, but I'm learning to think of him less and less. I still haven't succeeded in putting him completely from my mind, but I believe I am making progress, and I shall continue to do it until I reach my goal. =)

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